The picture is of Matt with Jacob and Ainsley. The next one has his entire family. A pang of jealousy hits me. I haven’t been a part of a family since they canceled Sophie Knows It All. It wasn’t my real family, but most of the cast members and staff worried more about me than my family did.
I was twelve when my brother Evan committed suicide. No one told me about it though, I learned about it at the studio, while someone was reading the news. Mom and Dad disappeared that week. It was just the driver and me. There wasn’t much to eat in the house, but a lot to drink. Every night, I went to bed crying for my big brother while drinking Mom’s vodka.
It always helped her go to sleep.
The pain never left me. The grief is still with me, tucked deep in my soul. Understandable, as the only person who loved me was gone forever.
He left me. At least, that’s what I thought until much later when I understood that he just couldn’t live in the hell our parents created for us. Still, at that age when I didn’t know better, I couldn’t cope with the loss.
I set the frame back in its place, wishing for two seconds that I had that. A loving mother, a loving father, and my adoring brother.I search around the room for my clothes, but I can’t find anything that belongs to me, so I head to the bathroom looking for yesterday’s clothes. There’s nothing. I glance at what I’m wearing. A Without A Compass T-shirt and socks. Not the best attire to walk back to a bar in.
Speaking of which, where are my keys?
I sigh heavily, knowing I’ll have to face whoever is in this place—probably Matt. I stare at the door, debating what I’m going to say or how I can just leave without discussing last night.
Just do it, I think as I grab the door handle and wiggle it.
“Ah!” I scream as I swing it open and two bodies fall onto the floor.
Matt and Tristan stare at me from their awkward position. Neither one moves. It’s as if they’re at a zoo, and I’m the monkey about to do some kind of trick. I don’t. Instead, I wait for their reaction.
“Is everything okay?” Pria steps into the room, looking at me as if I’m crazy. Right, I told a stranger my entire life. Poor woman. I bet now she… My eyes open wide. Did she tell them? No, she promised that it was between us—my story to tell at my own pace.
“Yeah, they fell when I opened the door and surprised me.” I point at the two, who are now pushing themselves off the floor. “Do you have my clothes by any chance?”
She shakes her head. “No. I already asked Ainsley to swing by your place and bring you something. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Can we talk?” Matthew asks, stepping closer to me. “Pria, give us a moment, please?” Matt asks in a soft voice. Pria glances at me, and I nod.
“Call me when you’re done,” Tristan says, turning around.
Matt grabs his arm before he leaves. “Where the fuck are you going? We have to talk to her.”
“We do.” Tristan turns back around. His unsettled eyes focus on Matt as he continues speaking. “Last night we set a few rules. The two of us discussed our relationship—yours and mine. You talk about your relationship with her, then I’ll discuss mine—with her. If, after everything is said, we come to an agreement, then we can try to find that unicorn we believe exists.”
Tristan then moves, and his gaze softens. “I love you, Butterfly. Every word I’ve said to you has been real.” He reaches into his pocket and hands me the crystal. “You can borrow it for as long as necessary to remember what that symbolizes.”
I close my hand and squeeze my eyes as tears threaten to come out. The sound of the door closing snaps my eyes open.
Tristan is gone.
ChapterFour
Thea
It’s onlyMatt and me in the room.
“Thea, I don’t know what happened to you last night,” he starts, holding my hand. “It scared me that I couldn’t do anything for you. Whatever it is, I want you to know you can tell me. We can get through any hardship together.”
With his free hand, he brushes some strands out of my face and kisses my forehead. I want to melt into his arms, but I take a step back.
“I think I’ve said it a few times, and I’ll repeat this as often as I need to because it’s important for you to know it—tofeelit. I. Love. You. No matter what, I’ll never harm you, use you, or let anything hurt you.”
I twiddle the crystal between my fingers, processing every word he’s saying. Rested from the previous night, my mind isn’t as closed off as yesterday’s. My fears of falling back into the hole have lessened.
But then, there’s my father lurking. I believe he doesn’t know about my relationship with Matt—or the Deckers, but did he see me with Tristan? I want to check the tabloids, to see if a picture of us is plastered there with some story. There’s the slight possibility that he didn’t recognize me though. If he had, he would’ve made a scene. There were reporters ready to capture the moment.
I hope and pray that he wasn’t there for me.