“I know,” he says in a soft voice, putting his arm around me. “I love her. Loving Thea has been changing me—for the better. And I love you too, Matt. The change is continuous. Nothing that’ll happen in a blink of an eye, but if I want to be the best person I can be, I have to be with both of you. Forever if possible.”
His big exhale is the only sound in the house. “Where are we heading from here?”
Tristan’s words hit me like thunder in the middle of a hurricane.
Is this him accepting himself? Telling me that he’s open to every possibility?
We stay here in silence as I assimilate the words. My mind can’t stop thinking about tonight, about her. My parents doubting me. Then offering to help while opening their home to Thea and Tristan.
Jacob welcomed him to the family, but Tristan didn’t say a word until now. Did I miss something?
It’s only been two weeks, and I don’t know how much he’s changed, if he has at all.
“There’s no fucking way I’m heading back to the closet,” I blurt, shifting my body to face him. “But I don’t want to give you up either. Where are we heading? Hopefully to a relationship where the three of us love each other. Whatever happens between the two of you, the two of us, or Thea and me, should be separated from what the three of us have at times.”
“Unless it affects the three,” Tristan adds. I nod. “About being in the closet… Can you give me time to continue therapy, to accept myself and accept what this means?”
“As long as it doesn’t affect us,” I say, touching the door. “We don’t know much about what she thinks or if she’ll even agree with what we have to offer.”
Tristan tosses his head, resting it on the door and closing his eyes. “We have to help her first, figure out what’s happening. Where is she going to live?”
“Here, we have a third room.” I make a mental note to have an extra set of keys cut for her. “She’ll have her privacy.”
“Matt, I love you, but Thea comes first. Always.”
“Always,” I agree, knowing she’s already been through a lot and deserves a better life. Deserves love. “We can give it to her, give her everything she needs. Love, security, protection. But you’re right. Thea will always come before the two of us.”
“You’re not going to like it, but,” he rubs his face, “sex is off the table until she’s ready.”
I lift my hand, placing his chin between my index finger and my thumb, leaning toward him. “How about kissing?”
Pressing my mouth against his, I give him a slow, burning kiss to remind him how good we are together. Telling him how much I’ve missed his taste and his body but adding a promise that I’ll wait.
“I missed you,” he whispers, nuzzling my neck. Hugging him closer to me, we remain outside my door, waiting for Thea to let us back in, hoping that when she does, it’ll be forever.
ChapterThree
Thea
Coming backfrom that dark place is hard.
I didn’t have night terrors, but when I open my eyes, nails pound my skull.
My mouth tastes vile, my throat hurts, and my stomach aches.
As I straighten up, the throb behind my eyeballs intensifies along with the pounding in my head, but my stomach settles.
Weird.
It’s been a long time since my last nervous breakdown.
The last thing I remember is my conversation with Pria. She offered to help me if I needed a place to stay, her friendship, and advised me to take my time before I made any rash decisions. Like run away to another country.
I wish I had been able to get to my apartment, but… I can’t remember what happened after I was dropped at Matt’s place...
And… what am I supposed to do now?
I finally look at my surroundings. Nothing out of the ordinary. Gray-blue colored walls dotted with a few black and white framed pictures of landscapes. Dressers with picture frames on top of them. I push myself out of bed and pick up one of the frames.