And I’ll do everything in my power to obtain it.
Chapter Seven
Blessing
I wake up in a daze.
My stomach isn’t growling. I’m warm. My first emotion isn’t worry about where I’m going to find today’s meal for the children. I’m…carefree. For the first time in my life.
Mostly.
Until now, this very moment, I never realized why I was so against getting married.
I’m too young, sure. But there’s more to my anxiety.
What if Edison gets sick of me? What if he decides to abandon me?
To some, that might seem like an unfounded fear, but not only was I left on the doorstep of a church when I was an infant, I care for a dozen children who were also given up by people who might have loved them at one time. Abandonment is a very real thing in my life.
And the reason it scares me so much is…I have very confusing feelings for Edison.
Strong feelings.
I almost wish I didn’t so I wouldn’t have to be vulnerable.
But our first night as husband and wife unlocked something deep inside of me. Not just a sexual appetite and adventurousness I didn’t know existed, but…affection. He’s not in bed with me right now and I miss him. I want a hug. I want to be kissed and fussed over.
I want…my Daddy.
Lord.
My abandonment issues are all twisted up in my attraction to Edison. I spent my whole life as an orphan waiting for someone to come claim me, love me, but I expected them to love me as a foster daughter. Not a wife. With Edison, the line is blurred. I should be horrified, right? Only, he makes that blurred line feel right. He makes it feel exciting. Daring. Naughty, but safe.
You’re not an orphan anymore, angel. Daddy’s home.
My breath catches, toes digging into the soft mattress. I stretch my arms up over my head and take stock of all my sore spots. Not sore enough to keep me from being aroused all over again, though. The memory of last night alone is making me wet and since I’m naked, that moisture is spreading down my inner thighs, which are still stick from my husband’s sperm.
The bedroom door flies open and I scream behind my teeth, before going limp. It’s a maid waltzing into the room with a tray of food.
A tray of food.
Someone is serving me breakfast?
“Good morning, Mrs. Scrooge,” sings the maid, setting the tray down on the edge of the bed and stepping back to fold her hands. Immediately, I like her. She has kind, twinkling eyes and a Christmas wreath brooch attached to her uniform. She’s the grandmother I never dared dream about. “I’ve made you an assortment. Eggs, sausage, potatoes, pastries. Coffee and hot chocolate.”
“Hot chocolate?” I breathe, my lips pulling into a dreamy smile. “Really?”
“Really.” She tilts her head at me. “I’m here to bring you whatever you want. And I think I’m going to enjoy this part of my job very much.”
“Did you eat breakfast? There’s enough for two.”
She softens further. “I ate already, Mrs. Scrooge.”
“Please, call me Blessing.”
Her head bobs once. “Very well.” She crosses to the window and tugs open the curtain to reveal a white wonderland of snow. Edison’s house is so tall that I’m looking down on the tops of all the houses throughout town, all of them topped in white, smoke curling up out of the chimneys. “Merry Christmas Eve.” Before I can say it back to her, she continues. “Edison is seeing to some business this morning, but he requests that you be ready to go out later this afternoon. He’s taking you on an old-fashioned sleigh ride, then an evening at the opera house. I believe they’re putting on a special Christmas show.”
My head is spinning with plans. I never have plans unless they include begging or fixing the broken radiator in the orphanage, let alone something so exciting.
Guilt trickles into my throat. What about the children?
How are they?
Who is caring for them? Are they warm and fed?
I miss them.
I chew my lip. It’s morning time. Edison and I aren’t going out until much later. I have more than enough time to check on the children before we leave.
“Thank you, Mrs.…”
“Marla.”
“Thank you, Marla.”
As soon as she closes the door behind her, I throw off the sheet and eat breakfast naked, giggling in between bites. Today is going to be a great day.
Edison
That day has gone to total shit.
I expect my angel to be ready and waiting for me when I’m finished working. Well, she’s not. In fact, she’s not even in the fucking house and no one knows where she’s gone.
In the span of two seconds, I’ve gone from calm to panicked.
“What do you mean she isn’t here?”
Ben and Marla trade a wide-eyed look.
“She was here this morning,” Marla says. “I brought her breakfast and informed her of your plan.”