“Ben called me while I was heading to that cabin.”
“Right before Craig and his guys showed up. I remember.”
“He told me something.” I clear my throat and glance at the bathroom. The shower’s still running. I don’t want Kady around for this. “Something about what happened when you got busted.”
“Really? How’s he know anything about that all of a sudden?”
“The Famiglia has been bribing cops to keep their noses out of our turf war. It’s something the bosses up north do to keep the heat down for a little while at least. Anyway, he asked one of those cops on our payroll about it.”
“Wow,” she says, sitting up straight. “Did you find out who talked? This could be huge, right?”
“I think so.” I walk over and sit down beside her. She’s so pretty, so small, and I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to hurt her. It breaks my fucking heart, but I won’t hold anything back from her, not ever again. “He gave me some initials. That’s all.”
“You’re freaking me out, Nolan. What are the initials?”
“AS.”
She tilts her head. “AS.? Do you have anyone with those initials in your crew?”
“No, I don’t. There’s only one person I know with those initials.” I stare at her, willing her to see it before I say the words, but she only looks confused. “What was your momma’s first name, Cora?”
Her mouth opens. Her jaw works. She laughs awkwardly and a small smile comes and goes. “Anette. But you’ve got to be joking, right?”
“Anette Stone. AS.”
“But why would Momma—?” She stops and shakes her head. “How could she even—?” She tugs at her hair and her smile fades completely. “I told her some stuff. And she could’ve overheard some more. We weren’t exactly being sneaky back then.”
“I’m sorry,” I say softly and put my hand on her thigh.
She brushes it away. “This can’t be right. Why would Momma do that to me? It doesn’t make sense.”
“I actually think it does. Remember how light your sentence was? You got probation for trafficking drugs across state lines, Cora. I don’t care how good your information was, I don’t care if you had the best lawyers in the entire world, that sentence was absurdly easy. It never made any sense, unless your momma called and got concessions from the cops before telling them where to catch you. I think she did it for your own good, to save you. I don’t think she realized you’d talk on top of everything.”
She stands and walks away and shakes her head like she’s trying to clear it. She’s trembling, shaking, and I stand but don’t go to her.
“Momma didn’t give a shit about laws or anything like that. She didn’t care if I smuggled drugs or snorted heroin. Why would she care all of a sudden that I was doing a job for the Famiglia?”
“I think she did though. Your momma loved you and Kady with everything she had, and I think she would’ve done anything to make sure you didn’t go down the wrong path. Even call the cops. Even get you arrested.”
“No,” she says but there’s no anger in her tone. Only an exhausted resignation. “God damn it, Nolan.”
“I’m sorry, Cora.” I finally go to her and she slumps forward into my arms. I hold her tight as she sobs into my chest. We stay like that for a little while, but her tears don’t last long, like she’s shed enough of them recently and doesn’t have much left to cry.
“Momma should’ve told me the truth,” she says, looking up into my eyes. “I could’ve forgiven her.”
“I think she was afraid and there was so much going on. I think she made that call to save you from yourself, maybe thinking you were going down her path. But you’re not your mother.”
“No, I’m not Momma.”
“And I’m not the piece-of-shit assholes she used to date.” I brush her tears away and stare into her eyes. “I love you, Cora Stone. I’ve loved you since I found you in those woods when were kids. I loved you every single day from then on and I still love you. I’ll always love you. I loved you in prison, and I loved you after. You could rip out my heart and I’ll still see the good in you, Cora, because you are good. You care about your sister and fight to keep her safe. You took care of your momma and did everything you could to save her life. You’re good to the core and I love you so damn much for it. I want to be half as good as you are, and I’ll try every day from here on out. I’ll kill for you, Cora. I’ll fight for you. Everything I have is yours.”
She stands on her toes and kisses me. I hold her there, tasting her lips, tongue, tears. I want to feast on her, but we slowly break apart. “I love you too,” she says quietly. “I wish I could’ve admitted it sooner, but I’ve loved you since we were kids. I’ve wanted this for so long, even when I hated you, I wanted this. I’m scared, but for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m finally doing the right thing.”