“Slept like a baby but you know me, I could sleep through anything.”
I cover my discomfort by taking a long sip. Does she know what Nolan and I did last night? But no, she’s not kidding around, she really could sleep through anything, there’s no way she heard what he and I were doing.
Though I wasn’t being very quiet toward the end and he wasn’t muffling my mouth the entire time.
“Want something to eat?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
She shakes her head and curls up tighter on the couch. “Honestly, all I want to do is sit right here for the next ten years and never think ever again.”
“That’s probably doable. I bet Nolan wouldn’t mind.” I sit down next to her and lean my head on her shoulder. “How are you holding up?”
She’s quiet for a second. Then, “Not good.”
“I know, sweetie. I’m so sorry.”
“I haven’t heard from him since, you know.” She clears her throat. “Not that I want to hear from him, but still, he’s been texting me nonstop since the day we first met. The man is an intense texter. Even when I tell him I hate him and don’t ever want to hear from him again, I still get gifs and emojis and whatever else he’s thinking. I miss his weird stream of consciousness babble.”
“Sounds kind of sweet actually.”
“Except he went quiet. Totally dark. I tried calling him—” She stops and stares at her coffee. “I know I shouldn’t have, but I’m worried.”
“And?”
“Right to voicemail.” She looks up at me. “Cora, did Nolan kill him?”
I slowly shake my head. I’m not going to lie to her but I also don’t want to tell her the full truth. If she heard what I heard—but no, she doesn’t need to know. “He promised he wouldn’t.”
“Did anyone in his crew?”
“I don’t think so. At least, there weren’t any gunshots.”
She closes her eyes and when she opens them again, a tear rolls down her cheek. I sigh and wipe it away and she grins at me. “You must think I’m pathetic. Like, why do I still care about this guy?”
“I don’t. I really don’t think you’re pathetic.”
“I’m not even sure why any of this matters. The guy was blackmailing me with our sex tape, you know? You must think I’m a total doormat going back to him over and over, but it’s complicated.”
“The heart is complicated. And we are the Stone girls, after all. We get our taste in men from Momma.”
She laughs bitterly and leans back. “If I ask you something, will you answer honestly?”
“I’ll try.”
“Did Nolan hurt him? I mean, badly?”
“I wasn’t there when things happened. I didn’t see it.”
“That’s not really an answer.”
“Right. I know. But I don’t want to tell you the truth because it won’t change anything.”
“Cora, please.” She puts a hand on my arm. “I need to know.”
I take a deep breath and let it out. She thinks she wants to know, but it’s only going to hurt her. Still, I understand what she’s thinking, and maybe it’ll give her some closure, even if it hurts at first. “When Nolan came out from the barn, there was blood on his shirt. I don’t know what he did to Jaxson, but apparently they got important information out of him, which I guess means they hurt him, yeah.”
“Right. Okay.” She closes her eyes and sips from her mug for a second before blinking away more tears. “That’s my fault.”
“Kady—”
“No, don’t.” She stands up and walks a few feet away. “I’m the one that sent the text telling him where to go. I lured him into that trap knowing full well what would happen to him, and you know what? The guilt is eating me up inside. I can’t handle having this on my conscience.”
“He’s not dead. And it’s not your fault. Nolan would’ve done this whether you helped or not. If anything, you made it easier on everyone.”
“How isn’t it my fault? How can you say I made it easier?” She puts her coffee down on the mantel and stares at me. “Seriously, Cora, how isn’t it my fault? I’m directly to blame for him going over there. I’m the one that helped lay the trap.”
“We could’ve taken your phone and done it that way.”
“But you didn’t. I typed the text. I hit send. Tell me how it isn’t my fault.” More tears roll down her face and I realize she isn’t angry—she’s pleading. “Please, Cora, tell me how it isn’t my fault.”
I get up and move toward her, but she shakes her head and waves me away. I stand there feeling totally helpless trying to figure out how I can make my sister feel better, but there’s nothing I can say or do to take away what happened.
She’s right. That’s the worst part. She’s absolutely right that she played an important role in what happened to Jaxson in that barn. He isn’t dead—I have to believe that Nolan didn’t lie to me about that—but he was hurt pretty badly.