There’s more, we just don’t know what yet.
“You’re too hard on yourself,” I say.
“And you’re bad news, but what else can I do? I’m stuck.”
“You’re not stuck. You can always leave.”
“Yeah? You gonna let me?”
I smile at her. “No, good point. I guess you’re right after all.”
“Thought so.” She leans her head back and I watch the graceful curve of her neck and throat and the slow rise and fall of her chest. Cora’s beautiful but Ben’s right about her, she does hide behind that dark eye makeup and her fuck-you stares. I wish she’d let her guard down more with me but I can’t blame her for building all the walls as tall as they’ll go.
It only means I have to tear them all down if I want to get at the raw center of her.
“Come here. You’re tense.” I gesture her closer.
“No shit I’m tense.”
“Turn around.” She hesitates but she knows what I’m talking about. “Like the old days.”
She chews her lip, but she curls her legs under her and turns her back to me, pulling her hair over one shoulder.
Back when we were kids, this was as intimate as we got. I slowly begin to rub her back and shoulders, using my thumbs and fingers to knead her muscles the way I know she likes it. After all this time, I can still remember how to make her give me those little whimpers and sighs of pleasure, and back in the day, those noises were the most glorious sounds I’d ever heard. I gladly rubbed her back, her thighs, fuck, I would’ve rubbed her feet if she asked, so long as I got to hear her make those noises. They were ecstasy to me, and even now that I’ve heard her make even better sounds, the sort of sounds that make a man so hard his cock might break in half, her sighs still drive me fucking crazy.
I rub her back and try to ease some of her tension. She lets me do it, stiff at first, but slowly begins to relax. “Been a while since you did this for me, you know.”
“I know. I was thinking about it the other day.”
“Yeah? When?”
“In the shower.”
“Right.” She looks back at me. “You don’t have to do it, you know.”
“I know I don’t have to do anything.” I lean forward and speak softly in her ear. “But I like making you feel good.”
She shivers but she doesn’t pull away.
I keep rubbing her back and she lets out a soft groan. I want to take things further, to pin her against the door and kiss her and fuck her rough until the truck shakes like it might break to pieces, but I keep myself under control. I have one eye on the field, watching for any sign of movement as the seconds tick past. It’s like we’re alone, but I know Eric and the others are hidden in the bushes and the trees, watching just like me.
“You ever wonder how it could’ve been?” she asks softly as I work on one particular spot that makes her gasp with excitement. My body trembles with need at every little movement and I don’t think she has any clue how incredible I find her right now. If she asked me for anything at all, I’d burn down the world to give it to her right now. “If you hadn’t joined the family, I mean.”
“Sometimes, but it doesn’t help anything. I’d be stuck like everyone else I know.”
“Stuck?”
“Trapped working some shit job for shit pay, unable to quit because then I’d lose my piece-of-shit rented apartment or house or trailer or whatever I can afford, stuck in this town because I can’t afford to move. Trapped in a life I don’t want because what else can I do? The Famiglia gave me a freedom I never thought I’d have.”
“Freedom and money, but at a cost.”
“A cost I’m willing to pay.” I run my hands down her shoulder, feeling her muscles, the small creases along her spine. I dig a thumb in and she whimpers, shivering.
She pushes her hair back and turns around. She looks at me, not saying anything for a moment. My hands fall to her thighs and rest there, and she doesn’t brush them away. “Would you ever leave?”
“Leave Marietta?” I chuckle and nod. “I think about it all the time.”
“Your crew is here. Your clubs are here.”
“My life is here.” I lean closer. “But what kind of life is this anyway? Who cares about a strip club in a dead-end town? I could live in the most glorious house in all of Marietta and still it wouldn’t make this better. What about you? Will you go when it’s time?” She opens her mouth but I dig my fingers into her skin. “You’ll fight it tooth and nail even if there’s nothing for you here. I want to go, but we both know I might never get out. I might be free, but only because my cage is a little bit bigger than it would’ve been otherwise. We’re all still caught up, no matter how hard we try.”