I stand so still I feel like my legs might shatter. “You never told me that,” I whisper.
“I didn’t want to take anything away from your mother making the right decision. I remember your mother, Cora. I remember her flaws and I remember she did her best to do right by you and your sister and by me too when she could.” He comes closer and I wrap my arms around myself, hugging my body tight to keep my chest and stomach from falling to pieces, because if I don’t do something, I’m going to crumble into old memories and sorrow. “I didn’t kill her. I’d never, ever hurt you like that. I fought to keep her alive and to make sure nobody in my family retaliated against you and yours. But someone did it anyway, and I want to know who.”
Tears roll down my face. I stare at him and try to put the crumbs of what he’s saying together but it’s all a jumble in my head. “Your family? You mean, your crime family?”
“You know what I am. You’ve known for a long time.”
“When did it happen? How did I lose you to those people?”
He stops a few inches from me and his expression darkens. “You never lost me, Cora. I only had to find a new way because the old way wasn’t working. My old family wasn’t working.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because I want revenge.” His voice is soft and almost sensual, like a cashmere blanket thrown over my naked flesh. “I want to find out who killed your mother. I want to find out who set you up.”
“I thought that was your boss.”
“Ben had too much to lose. It was someone else, but in all this time I haven’t been able to figure it out. I need you around to smoke them out, Cora. I need you around to force whoever hurt you into the open. I need them to get scared and make a mistake, and when they do, I’m going to cut their fucking throat.”
I turn my face away and wipe my eyes with my sleeve. “This is crazy. You know what you’re asking, right?”
“I know.”
“You want me to be bait. You get that, right?”
“I’m aware.”
“I can’t do this. I have Kady to worry about.”
“Kady’s got her own demons. She’s deep in with the ORB, deeper than you realize. Jaxson’s just the tip.”
“No, you’re lying.”
“Ask her about it. Ask her how she knows Craig. Ask her how she met Jaxson to begin with.”
I glare at him, the anger flaring again. He can say what he wants about the past—the past is dead and gone, and there’s no changing it now—but this is my little sister, my Kady, and she’s all I got. I won’t let him ruin her for me too.
“You don’t get to fucking take her away too.”
He tilts his head. “You think that’s what I want?”
“I think ever since you joined that family, you’ve done whatever you want. It’s all about the Famiglia now, isn’t it? It’s all about Nolan.”
“That’s not right, Cora.”
“Yeah? Tell me how it’s not. You want to dangle me out there as bait.”
“I want to save you and your sister.”
I try to turn away but he catches me before I can pull back. He holds my arm like iron and pulls me back against him, and I stare up into his face like he holds the secrets I’ve always wanted, like I can find the truth I desperately crave in his lips and in his eyes. But all I see is darkness staring back.
“You’re a liar. Always were.”
“I’m a survivor, just like you.”
“Let go of me.”
“Not until you understand.”
“What’s there to understand?” I try to shove him but it’s like pushing rock. “You got my mom killed, you asshole. You got me arrested, you ruined my life, and now you want to drag me back into your hell and ruin it all over again. Let go of me, let go of me, let go—”
He yanks me tighter and slams his mouth against mine.
The kiss is so sudden and violent and intense that it’s like my brain glitches and stops and the world comes to a sudden stillness. The breeze is gone, the birds are quiet, and there’s only Nolan’s mouth on mine, the lips I’ve dreamed of a dozen times or more, the kiss I’ve wanted for years and years and years, the promise that it holds now suddenly in my mouth, on my tongue, against my skin. His heart’s racing like mine and I don’t know if it’s excitement or fear or both and more, and I kiss him back because this is Nolan, my Nolan, and we’re in our spot in our woods. What else is there to do but taste him the way I’ve always dreamed I could, taste him and need him and feel the burning crazy fire that devours up my core and lights my brain into a thousand stinging fireflies.