Slowly, I looked at Nyktos. Shadows had appeared under Nyktos’s skin. The aircrackled. “Almost,” I reiterated quietly.
Whirling silver eyes met mine. The essence slowed, and the charge of energy gradually faded from the room. His gaze dropped to where my fingers rested on his arm.
I wastouchinghim.
In front of others.
I hadn’t even realized I’d done it. Feeling my cheeks warm, I jerked my hand away. I didn’t think Nyktos appreciated it. Touching in those rare, intimate moments after he’d given me his blood didn’t equate to him wanting my touch whenever. I stared at the scarred table, breathing through the sting of…disappointment. But in what? Him? Me? I glanced up, and Rhain’s icy stare met mine.
Clasping my hands together in my lap so I kept them to myself, I cleared my throat again. “Anyway, I just don’t think it makes sense that it was Hanan. Wouldn’t he want me alive? Wouldn’t any of the Primals who figure my arrival and Bele’s Ascension are related want me alive so they could hand me over to Kolis?”
“A Primal had to be behind this,” Nektas said. “No other could command a draken to attack. The question is which one? Who would know or suspect enough about you to be willing to anger both Nyktos and Kolis by allowing you to die?”
Nobody had an answer to Nektas’s question, likely because no one knew which Primal would be willing to anger both the Primal of Death and potentially the false Primal of Life.
To be honest, I wasn’t worried about that as much as I was the risk to all the others if this mystery Primal launched another attack. Or if Kolis grew tired of just being curious over the embers and decided to summon Nyktos to find out what happened. My stomach pitched as my skin chilled.
“You were injured?” Aios asked as she walked with me to my chambers.
I glanced at the goddess. The shadows smudging the skin under Aios’s citrine eyes worried me. The hollows of her heart-shaped face were deeper than before, and her concern was clear in the press of her full lips.
“Not much.”
“That wasn’t the impression I got from Bele.” Aios tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “She said you were bitten.”
“Barely,” I lied, not even sure why I didn’t want to share what Nyktos had done for me. Maybe because a part of me couldn’t believe it. “Are you staying here tonight—or what’s left of tonight?”
Aios nodded. “I’ve been staying close because of Gemma.”
Gods, the Chosen must’ve been terrified during the attack. “Can I see her?”
Aios looked away. “Maybe later.”
Tension settled into my shoulders as I trailed my fingers along the cool, smooth stone of the railing. There could be a ton of reasons why I couldn’t see Gemma now, starting with the fact that she was probably asleep. But my mind immediately went to the worst one. What if Aios didn’t want me around the once-Chosen?
Aios had acknowledged that I hadn’t wanted to harm Nyktos, but acknowledgment didn’t equate to forgiveness. She’d been forthcoming with information when I first arrived,when most—including Nyktos—hadn’t. Aios had been kind and welcoming, but I had disappointed her. I’d heard that in her voice and seen it in her expression. In the brief times we’d been together since she’d learned the truth, Aios hadn’t been as friendly as before, and that stung. Because I liked her.
I swallowed a sigh as we rounded the third floor. “How is Gemma?”
“She’s okay. Physically.” Aios smoothed a hand over a cream panel of her gown, her features pinching. “But I think it will be a while before the mind catches up with her body.”
I wished my touch could heal those kinds of wounds, the deeper ones that no one could see. Glancing at Aios, I zeroed in on the shadows under her eyes. The empathy she’d shown Gemma when we’d spoken with her had come from a place of experience. Aios shared that same haunted look with Penellaphe.
And I had a feeling if Nyktos hadn’t taken me as his Consort when he did, and I’d been left to my stepbrother’s cruel and depraved whims, I would’ve had those shadows in my eyes, too.
“I worry that the guilt she feels rivals her fear,” she added after a moment.
“What Hamid did wasn’t her fault.” My grip tightened on the shadowstone railing. “And Bele shouldn’t blame herself for what happened tonight either.”
“Neither should you. You saved Bele’s life. You did nothing wrong.”
“I…” I looked away from Aios, my gaze traveling to the foyer below. “When I brought Bele back, I didn’t know that it would Ascend her.”
“If you had known what would happen, would that have changed things?” Aios stopped on the step above, her eyes meeting mine. “Does knowing what will happen change what you would do if presented with that choice again?”
I started to say yes but couldn’t because I’d wanted to bring Davina back. I would have if Ector hadn’t stopped me. If it happened again to another I knew? Someone Nyktos cared for, and no one was there to stop me?
A faint smile appeared, and then she turned, continuing up the stairs. “In a way, I’m not sure you have a choice. You havean ember of life in you,” she said as we reached the fourth floor, not knowing that I actually hadembersof life in me. “It may have been a part of Eythos when he lived, but now, it’s a part of you. Creating life out of death is in your nature. It’s instinct.”