“It’s hard, right? But it makes you realize how special the people close to you really are.”
“I know, that’s what Dad says. But you don’t have a dad or a mom?”
I shook my head. “No, they’re both gone.”
“Then who took care of you?”
Up ahead a young couple approached from the opposite direction, a big, shaggy-haired dog walking on a leash in front of them. Willa let out a happy cry, hurrying over to the dog to pet it. Me and the couple watched as Willa scratched the dog’s head, and it responded with friendly licks. When she’d had her fun, the two of us continued on.
“Sorry,” she said. “But dogs are, like, my favorite. I keep asking Dad if we can get one, but he says we don’t have the time for it.”
“Maybe someday.”
“Maybe. Anyway, who took care of you when your parents died?”
“No one, really. I have a big brother and we stuck together. After our parents died, we were all each other had.”
“How old’s your brother?”
“Twenty-seven, so a few years older than me.”
“What’s his name? Is he cool?”
How do I even answer that question – is he cool? Crap, what name did I give Jason? Matt. Whew, glad I remembered that.
“His name is Matt. He’s cool. He…has a good heart.” God, I hated lying to Willa and no need to get into detail about my brother’s character. “And when we were kids we got put into the foster system.”
“Foster system?”
“Yeah. When kids don’t have parents, they get put with these people called ‘foster parents,’ who look after you. If you’re lucky, you might get to stay with them forever.”
“And is that what happened?”
I shook my head. “No. We stayed with some nice families, but…never found a real home.”
“But you had your brother, right? That must’ve made it OK.”
She wasn’t wrong. Michael had always been a bit of a screw-up, getting into scrapes with the law from a young age. But he always looked out for me, always made sure I was never alone, that I never felt too scared. It’d always be with small gestures here and there, some candy or a new toy waiting for me when I’d come home from school, things like that.
I remembered one day when I’d gotten teased by some girls who made fun of me for my cheap clothes and lack of makeup. I told Michael, and the next day there was a new wardrobe in my closet, along with a ton of beauty supplies in the bathroom. Some of the clothes didn’t fit, and I had no idea what I was doing with the makeup, but his intentions were good.
It wasn’t until years later, however, that I realized where it had all come from—mostly shoplifting, along with what he’d been able to buy with money he’d earned running errands for local criminals. But all the same, it was his way of showing that he cared, that nothing mattered to him more than my happiness.
A stir of…something—anxiety, fear, other bad emotions—flowed through me at the thought of this. For a moment I was back to being a kid, always dreading the day me and Mike would have to pack up everything and move to another home.
“It did. But I don’t get to see him much anymore these days.”
“That’s sad,”she said. “But now you live with us! And you can stay for as long as you want.”
It wasn’t true. I was going to be gone in less than a month. The idea was already enough to send a spike of sadness through me.
“We’ll see,” I said. “But for now, I’m having a ton of fun hanging out with you, Will.”
“Yeah! You too.” She stopped, her face scrunching up again. “April. I have to think of a new name for you. You called me ‘Will,’ and that’s just my name but short. What about ‘Ape’?”
She realized what she said, breaking out into a bright laugh.
“That’s no good,” I said with a smile. “Are you calling me a monkey?”