Fuck, I thought I had dreamed that conversation with him earlier. Looking around, I find what I’m looking for. Elli—my little demon—lying on the hospital bed next to mine. Where she was earlier. I throw off the blanket and get to my feet as Tyson sighs. I ignore the way my body protests at the smallest movement. I’ve always enjoyed pain. It means you’re not dead. And believe me, you’d be surprised what your body can endure.
Walking over to her bed, I reach out and run my dried-up bloody knuckles down the side of her cool cheek. “Is she okay?” I ask, my fingers going to her neck to check her pulse.
“She’s fine.” I look over to see her father sitting in a chair, arms crossed over his chest and one ankle on his other knee, glaring at me. “Can’t say the same about you.” He looks me up and down, lingering on the bandage covering my chest.
I look down to see my jeans have been removed but I’ve still got my boxer briefs on and there’s another bandage on my thigh. “Don’t start,” I mumble, turning back to her and lifting the blanket to cover her shoulders, tucking it underneath her neck.
“Don’t start?” he repeats, getting to his feet. “Do you—”
“I was trying to give her what she deserved,” I growl, interrupting him. I’m not in the mood for this shit right now. I may be alive, but I feel like I’ve been through hell.
“A dead husband?” he snaps, stepping over toward me.
“A father,” I growl.
Jesus, why is it so hard for them to see what I was doing? That I did it because I love her. That I think she deserved a better life than what she’s had since hedied. A part of me was trying to make up for what she’s been through in the past. I love my little demon just the way she is, but I hate what she went through. How many times had there been signs that I chose to ignore or just didn’t catch on to?
“That’s not your job.” He punches himself in the chest. “I had a chance to make it right and you ruined it.”
“Oh, I ruined it?” I scoff. “What were you going to do? Go back to Carnage? Act like youdiddie all those years ago? That you didn’t come back into her life only to leave her again?”
“Exactly,” he snaps, and she stirs. He lowers his voice and runs his hands through his hair. “I’ve spent nine years at Carnage.” His blue eyes drop to her, and his face softens. “I don’t know how to live here.”
“I get that, but don’t you want to try?” I ask. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy for either one of them but she’s worth trying for.
“I can’t be who I was.” He shakes his head. “I’m not a Lord, I’m not a husband. Hell, I handed her mother over to them. I have nothing to offer her.”
“Offer her?” My brow furrows, confused by his words. “All she ever wanted was you. Her dad. All you have to do is show up.” I point to him. “You think she gives a shit about the Lords?” I shake my head. “And her mother was a fucking worthless cunt who betrayed her.” My voice grows louder. “You get a second chance at life, Nick. It may not be the life you had before, but it’s something that you can share with her.”
The door opens and I look over to see Gavin enter. He comes to a stop when his eyes land on me. “You shouldn’t be up walking around.”
“I’m fine,” I say through gritted teeth.
“I’ll be the judge of that.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
ELLINGTON
I HEAR VOICES off in the distance as I start to wake from my nap.
“How do you feel?” I recognize Gavin.
“Like you gave me too many drugs.” I hear Sin’s voice and I don’t know if I should cry or scream. I bring my hand up underneath the blanket and cover my mouth to keep myself from doing both.
“It was either immense pain or drug-induced bliss,” Tyson growls. “We chose for you.”
“Well, I’m awake now and I choose no more drugs,” Sin states. “Is there something that I can sign to make sure that doesn’t happen?”
I open my eyes and pull the covers down just enough to peek out into the room. I’m lying on my side, facing Sin’s hospital bed. He’s sitting up, legs dangling off the side with his back toward me. Gavin and Tyson both stand in front of him. My father off to the side.
“How do you feel?” Gavin asks him.
“Fine,” comes his clipped voice.
“You should…” Tyson trails off as his eyes meet mine.
I’ve been caught. Sitting up, I let the blanket fall to my waist.