“Nah. I’m the only one she’ll let touch her, so just don’t try to pet her and you’ll be okay,” he tells me.
As if I’d ever try petting any wild animal. Not even Bambi would have gotten a head pat out of me.
The cougar gives me one last menacing growl before turning and bolting off the porch, racing into the woods.
“So what does Count Chocula look like?” I ask…
It’s possibly the oddest question to ever leave my lips.
“He looks like a regal piece of fuzzy chocolate, according to my sister when she was sixteen,” he states with a certain dismissive air to the question. “He also wears a set of bells around his feet. We did that to keep track of him so he couldn’t ever sneak up on us. It doesn’t hinder his hunting skills too much, though. He’s still faster than his prey.”
My mouth opens and closes. I decide against saying anything. I’ve insulted his hometown enough to be considered a major douche as is.
That solves it. We’re selling the cabin. We simply don’t belong. There’s nothing wrong with them. We just can’t blend into the crowd here.
As Kai walks to his Jeep and opens the passenger side door, staring over at me with both amusement and unhidden interest, I decide staying until the end of the week won’t kill me.
Hopefully.
Wild Ones Tip #477
If it’s sharp, then we like to play with it. A helmet’s not gonna help too much.
Chapter 6
KAI
*******
Like fucking putty in my hand. Finally.
Hale Vincent can kiss my ass. No way is he still out ahead of me, because my girl is wearing my clothes through town.
People scatter like cockroaches when they see me coming, and I smirk, dropping my arm around Piper’s shoulders. Now no one here will have the balls to try and woo her.
Hence the reason I wanted to walk her through town in my clothes…
She immediately stares over at where my arm is hanging, shaking her head as she fights a smile, not protesting any. She’s warming up.
Cougar is going to get an extra special meal for this.
The local gossip squad are all gawking at us, pressed against the shop glass windows, as we head down the main sidewalk. Within the hour, everyone will know Piper is off limits.
“I like the town,” she says with a slow smile. “It’s clear you guys don’t get too many visitors. Everyone is staring,” she adds, completely clueless.
They’re not staring because she’s new to town. They’re staring because she’s mine and they’re nosy fucks. They’re probably curious how amazing she must be to pique a Wilder’s interest, but also smart enough not to get too close and piss me off.
Skunks can sometimes get involved if I get pissed off.
“Yep,” I state, not elaborating.
My feet almost trip over themselves when I see Lenny Nickel heading toward us. Shiiiiiiit.
Not now, Lenny. Not. Now.
He’s not smart enough to be scared of me, no matter what I do to him.
His eyes widen like he’s just spotted me, and I mentally curse for not taking the opportunity to escape—
“Kai Wilder!” he shouts.
Piper startles against me, eyes wide as she stares ahead at Lenny, who is pointing a finger as he gives me a furious glare.
“Shit brains, not now,” I tell him, giving a not-so-subtle head gesture toward the girl I’m regaling with all my refined charm and shit.
Everyone remaining on the sidewalk scatters into whatever door they can reach first. Piper is tense against me.
Lenny is going to pay if he makes me look like an idiot. Fucking Nickels. They have a quarter of the sense a real nickel has.
I snort, laughing at my own mental joke.
Lenny narrows his eyes.
“I challenge ye to the ye old duel!” he shouts, pulling his hatchet from the holster on his side. “That squirrel done chewed through all of my underwear, my mattress, and my collection of old-school porn magazines! This means war!”
“Take the fucking hint and don’t piss me off right now,” I warn him. “Besides, that collection of old-school porn was just your dad’s hand-me-downs. Most people would have been pretty fucking repulsed to take their dad’s porn.”
He looks confused for a second. “Why? My dad’s cool. You know that.” His eyes narrow. “You talking bad about my daddy now, Wilder?”
Rolling my eyes, I count the many ways I’m going to punish him for this. “Think about what your hands have on them when you put those magazines away…”
He blinks as though he’s never thought of it that way, and he recoils, seeming lost inside his own head. There’s a telling moment when true disgust drives him to almost gagging. I’m half-worried I’ve broken his brain when he shakes his head, shudders dramatically, and makes some hellacious sound.
Piper simply stares with wide, unblinking eyes, her lips parted in surprise.
“Why’d you have to go and put that in my head? You’ll pay for that too!” he threatens.