Why was Isidore trying to learn how to use a gun? And him protecting Kairo’s back? There was going to be none of that. Isidore wasn’t allowed anywhere near danger, let alone him putting his body in harm’s way so that he could protect Kairo. That was just insane.
Isidore’s spine had been stiff and his tone polite when he’d asked for Kairo to accompany him to their bedroom to talk. Yeah, it was probably best they went somewhere slightly private so they could have this talk.
Were they going to have their first fight?
That couldn’t happen already. They were still getting to know each other. Was this a bad sign for their future if they were arguing this early?
But even as that fear shivered through his frame, it did nothing to douse the fire licking its way through his belly.
“What are you doing? You asked those two lunatics to show you how to use a gun?” Kairo snapped the second Isidore closed the door behind them, sealing them away from the rest of the world.
“From my understanding, Alexei and West are extremely experienced and accomplished in the use of firearms. I thought they would be able to show me how to safely use a gun,” Isidore replied. His tone had become strangely stiff and formal while he crossed his arms over his chest. It only made Kairo want to shake him. Was he not taking this seriously? Why was he getting insulted?
Kairo paced away from Isidore, his hands balled into fists at his sides. He needed to get his temper under control. What the hell was happening to him? He almost never lost his temper.
Because this wasn’t anger.
This was terror that was trying to strangle him. It was bone-gnawing fear that something was going to happen to Isidore because he had followed Kairo into a dangerous situation. The world needed Isidore’s sunny disposition and generous, warm nature. How could he possibly go on if something happened to Isidore?
Speaking as calmly as he could manage, he asked, “Why?” as he turned back to face Isidore. Maybe he wasn’t making Isidore feel safe enough.
Isidore’s brow furrowed, and there was a new sparkle in his sad gray eyes as he stared at Kairo in almost disbelief. “Because I’m afraid of losing you.”
“What?” he gasped. “We’ve barely started. We’ve only been together a few days. How could you possibly lose me already? You’re certainly doing a damn good job of scaring the shit out of me.”
“Yes, it’s taken me only a few days to see how different our lives are. How can I belong within your world if I don’t fit at all? I don’t know how to fire a gun. My fighting skills are quite poor compared to your companions. I’m not a doctor. Computers and I don’t get along very well. I can give you all the money you might need for your endeavors, but that’s notme,” he argued, hitting himself in the chest. “I want you to wantme.Iwant to fit in your life.”
“You fit in my life because I say you do. I’m more than my job. I’ve got plenty of friends who are mercenaries, ex-SEALs, and assassins. I don’t need more. What I need is a guy just like you. Someone who is sweet, caring, and funny. Someone who doesn’t need to race off to jump into every fight, but wants to enjoy life a little slower. You’ve told me about working on the olive harvest every year. Did you ever think that maybe I’m waiting for you to invite me to join you? I also wouldn’t mind seeing how a winery actually works.”
Isidore lifted teary eyes to him, and his voice cracked. “Really? I was afraid you’d find all that too boring.”
All the anger that had swirled up in his chest deflated like a released balloon. He crossed the room and cupped both of Isidore’s cheeks. “Not boring at all. It sounds interesting to me. Even more interesting because you’re going to be there with me the entire time.” He tipped Isidore’s face down toward him so he could brush a kiss across his smooth jaw.
“I’d love for you to join me for the olive harvest. We usually begin in late October or early November,” Isidore said. There were bubbles of excitement popping in his voice that made Kairo’s heart squeeze. He wanted to make Isidore this happy all the time, force the dark shadows of his past from his eyes.
“I’ll make sure I’ve got some time cleared from the team so I can be there,” Kairo promised. “But back to the idea that you don’t fit. Isidore, you fit with my friends in the most basic way.”
“What do you mean?”
“The whole reason why we started our team, why we decided to become mercenaries, was to help people.” He released Isidore’s face and lowered his arms to wrap them around his slender waist. “Almost every word out of your mouth is how you want to help someone. Athena has told me about the different charities that you’ve created or support. She’s told me about the families you’ve helped with your time, money, and even your own pain and sweat. You’re no different just because you don’t use a gun.”
“But I want to be there to help you,” Isidore argued.
“And your encounter with Vanko is the last time I want to see you in any kind of danger,” Kairo growled.
A strange laugh left Isidore and Kairo stiffened. He could have sworn that the laugh sounded bitter to him, but in all that he’d been through, Isidore had always acted as if any bitterness slid right off him.
“I get it now. I get why Athena is always so frustrated with me,” Isidore said, seeming to talk more to himself as he tipped his face up toward the ceiling. When he looked down at Kairo, his lips were tugged in a frown. “Both Athena and I were sure that I would be the overprotective one. That I’d drive you away by smothering you.”
Kairo released Isidore and took an unsteady step backward. “I’m smothering you?”
“Without consulting me, you’ve decided what I can and can’t do because it just might be too dangerous. You don’t know half the things I’ve done in my life. I’ve climbed mountains, jumped out of planes, gone swimming with sharks. I’m no coward. I’ve—”
Holding up both hands, Kairo tried to stop his words. His heart didn’t want to hear the insane things Isidore had done. “I don’t think you’re a coward! I’ve never thought that. You’re not weak or incapable in any way. I just don’t want you to die!”
Isidore stopped, his eyes widening. His lips parted, but no sound came out.
Kairo took a step toward him again, resting a hand on Isidore’s chest over his racing heart. “You make me so happy. You make the world happy all around you. Everything is just better now that I have you in my life, and I am terrified of something happening to you. I need you safe.”