I thought that if I ever was found, I’d put up a good fight. Kill the fuckers, but if New Year’s Eve is a gauge of what would happen, then I’d be dead real fast. I froze. After years of therapy required by the government, and lessons in self-defense with Mac, I could barely breathe when I recognized that voice and saw that tattoo.
Henry must see the disappointment; I’m not sure I’d be able to hide anything with him studying me the way that he is. He lifts his gaze and pulls me close to his face. So close that the only thing I can look at, in focus, is his pouty bottom lip, and that beautiful white scar that spans the tip of his upper lip and disappears into his longer than usual scruff. Moving his hands from my face to my neck, he lowers my head so he can kiss my forehead. But before he can come back to my lips, I pull away.
I’ve opened myself enough for one night. Enough for a lifetime. I’m scared that if I show him anything else, say another word, that I’ll never be able to walk away from him.
One day left.
37
Henry
Last night,after she told me the details of her story, the heavy weight of it, she fell asleep. I carried her to bed and held her for the entire night. There wasn’t much that would have forced me anywhere other than that spot next to her. I don’t remember falling asleep, only being woken up by her hands on my thighs and her mouth on my cock.
I fucked her slowly after that. It was the kind of morning you never forget. Wrapped up in the person you’re enamored with and sinking into them as if it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. We moved to the veranda, sprawled out on the daybed near the pool.
Now I get why this is out here. Smooth move, Jack.
I drag my fingers lightly around the cursive lettering that rests right in the crease of her hip. Then I lean over and lick the words, taking the suggestion.
“I can’t decide if my favorite is the lemon blossoms behind your ear that when I kiss them it makes you moan, or if it’s this message meant just for me,” I say, dragging my fingers around the word ‘lick’ again.
“You don’t need to pick. You can worship all of my artwork,” she says, smiling down at me.
We lie around in the sun most of the day, managing to touch some part of each other's body at every possible moment. It’s perfection. Maybe it’s the time limit. Maybe the way she opened her wounds for me last night and showed me every difficult part of her life. Maybe it's just the fact that, more than anything in this world, I want to be near her.
“What’s it like to fly?”
“You’ve been on an airplane,” I tell her without opening my eyes. Letting the warmth of the sun soak into my skin.
She jabs my side. “You know what I’m asking, Hanky. What’s it like to fly? Be in control like that?”
I lean back against the pillows of the lounge chair. She lies on her stomach in front of me, half draped on my lower half.
“It’s different now, but when I started, when I was training in the Air Force, it was scary as hell. But the good kind of scary. It pushed me, and I fell in love with flying. It made me feel important, and that I was something special. I liked the idea of doing something larger than myself, but the payoff was that it was such a high. Training the way that I was able to…” I push out a breath. “I trained at such a high level. It was such a small percentage who’ve ever done what I was able to do. But I also lost sight of my why. It was easy to get wrapped up in being the best. I think I wanted it so badly because I didn’t have anything else I was good at, or enjoyed as much. And flying, I was fucking good at it. I still am.” I peek over at her as she watches me with interest.
Clearing my throat, I look up at the blue sky.
“My dad is, well, you know Ash. Endlessly loving and naturally talented at everything. He’s a lot to live up to. I don’t see it like that anymore, but when I was younger, I had shit to prove. He doesn’t think so, but Michael is just like our dad. Michael has his own shit, but he’s exactly like him. Good at everything having to do with the mountains, completely aware, and the man loves so fiercely. He’s quiet, intense, and just has this way about him that makes you want to earn his respect. Even as my younger brother. And then Law can be the chaotic idiot, but he’s so damn likeable and kind. Everyone wants to be around him. He’s always been like that. He’s been talking people into doing shit they don't want to do since he was a toddler. He’ll run the shit out of Riggs Outdoor someday. And Ev is one of the best people in the world. She’s great at everything. She kicked all of our asses in every sport on that mountain. She was intimidating even before she went ahead and built up Riggs, and then started her own damn empire.”
I look down and see G smiling up at me, laughing almost. I realize I’m smiling talking about them too. “It’s true,” she says. “They are all incredible. And so intimidating. But you’re the same way, baby.”
“I’ve always been easily annoyed. Most people keep their clearance. I don’t put off a warm vibe, mostly because people are either idiots, or vultures.” She barks out a laugh at that.
“I love our town, but everybody is always looking for an angle with my family. That’s been the case, for as long as I can remember. When my mom left, women came out of the woodwork trying to be a stand-in. The hot single dad in town and they all wanted a piece. And then we got older, and I stayed bitter over all of it. People always wanted something. It pissed me off. And I was good at things… I’m not saying that I wasn’t or that I’m not.” I smile down at her because I see the face she makes at me out of the corner of my eye.
“I’m saying I didn’t have something that was just for me. The Air Force, flying, did that. It was mine. And when it was taken away, I was—” I clear my throat and try to rein in where my head wanders. “I wasn’t good.”
I try to look her in the eye when I say this because it’s a part of me that she may not even realize.
“When I met you, I was in a dark place over all of it. I was embarrassed to go home, knowing everyone would be talking about the accident all over again. At that point, it wasn’t even clear if I could still be a pilot. I was cleared, legally, to fly privately, but I was nervous to try. And the work I put into the Air Force was fucking dust. I couldn’t serve, and that pissed me off. All that time and money for nothing.”
When I look down at her again, I notice her eyes shimmering. Reaching down, I touch her beautiful face, and she leans into my palm. I try to make light of it and say, “You asked what it’s like to fly.” I laugh. “Not all of that.”
She smiles up at me, just letting me talk. Giving me the space to share what I want.
“I never thought anything would feel as good as flying. Seeing the sky at that height. It’s incredible. It’s not how I thought I’d be up there. But I still get to do it. And it’s fucking spectacular.
I peek at her again.