She nods sweetly, then goes over to Law’s chair and sits on his lap sideways, whispers something in his ear, and they both laugh. She looks back at me when she gets up and then flips me off. “Be careful, please, and call me after,” Everly says as they hug.
“I’ll text you. I think this bunch of girls are going to be wild. I might tag on and see what kind of trouble I can get into with them.” She winks at Everly, and the idea of her getting into trouble makes me uneasy. Trouble for her, I’m learning, can be anywhere from blowing glitter in people’s faces to dancing on bars. I don’t want to think about what she’ll want to do or who she’ll find to finish the job I started.
She says goodbye to everyone but me. The fact that I’m the only one who knows her for real. The only person who deserves a goodbye is skipped over. My neck is hot, hands feeling jittery, and I’m doing my best not to over-analyze the type of trouble she’s on a mission to find later.
I realize I’ve been staring at the door she just walked through for longer than normal. My dad clears his throat to gain my attention. “You doing okay, son?”
I nod.
“Any luck in New York? Find anything new?” he asks, knowing the whole story. They all do. It wasn’t something I could or even wanted to hide.
“It’s done. I won’t be going back,” I say.
And that’s enough to get everyone to stop their moving. Everly cleaning her plate, Michael standing to help. But I’m not interested in talking about it anymore.
“How about some cake and Setback?” I ask, looking at Law. Then to Michael and Everly. It’s my olive branch, and really, I think I need the time with them as much as I need to make sure Law knows I don’t hate him.
“Yeah,” Law breathes out. “I’m in.”
“You guys really want to try to beat me again? I was barely trying the last time, and I schooled you,” Michael asks as he shuffles the deck. The smirk on his face is the signal that the shit-talking can commence.
“I’ll agree with Michael. It was pretty embarrassing, if you ask me,” Dad chimes in from the kitchen.
“Nobody asked you, Dad,” Law belts back.
Everly points at Michael and yells, “We wanted to forfeit! We were all dying! You kept farting, and none of us could breathe.”
“That was Henry’s fault! He made those roasted chestnuts. How was I supposed to know it was going to ruin my stomach like that? Ended up working in my favor.”
“Dad, you joining?”
He shakes his head while he pulls on his coat. “Not tonight. I’m going to check on the horses, maybe go for a ride.”
“Love you, Daddy,” Everly yells.
“Love you too, pumpkin.” He gives me a look at the door. A knowing nod that I’m planning to set things right. My grudge has gone on long enough.
I clear my throat. I don’t care that Michael and Everly are going to hear this, because they’ve witnessed all of it and deserve to hear it too.
“I’m sorry.” That’s the best way to start. Law’s smile falls away slowly, and his eyes tear up immediately. “I’ve been punishing you for something that you didn’t deserve. I don’t have to tell any of you how much leaving the Air Force affected me. But I put all my anger on you.” I keep my eyes on my baby brother. “And that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. And I’m still doing it.”
Law’s voice breaks when he says, “Hen, I’m still so sorry. I fucking hate myself for being involved in any part of you losing somethin’ you worked so hard for.”
“And I’m telling you, I forgive you. But it was an accident. I know that. And I had no business making you feel like you should hate yourself for it. You don’t deserve that, either. And this is me telling you that it’s done.”
Law wipes tears before they have a chance to fall, blowing out an exaggerated breath. I get up from the table and give him a hug. One that’s years overdue. I know it’s not an instant fix, but it’s a start. We hold on a bit longer, an extra couple of back slaps, too. He mumbles, “Love you, Hen.”
“You too, man.”
When we break apart, I find both Michael and Everly smiling. I give them a nod.
“Alright, suckers.” Law claps his hands. “Who’s ready to lose?”
* * *
Three hours, two games of Setback, and one entire German chocolate cake later, and I find myself sitting in my truck across the street from Hideaway Ink. I don’t know what I’m doing here, but I needed to be sure she was okay. And if I’m being honest, I didn't want her finding her version of trouble with someone else. So here I am, watching from my front seat, across the street, and through the front window of her shop. I watch as a group of five women laugh and talk with their hands as G works her tattoo pen across the lower back of the sixth.
Tap, tap, tap.