“I think you forgot I watched him attack you,” she called back from her room. “I ended our relationship because of that. I’m giving him a second chance when I shouldn’t, and I admitted my part in all of this.” She came out of the bedroom in her pajamas and went into the bathroom. “Ifhedecides that he’s using this as an opportunity to break my heart, then that’s something I’ll have to deal with.”
It looked like the doubt that Kyle had fostered in me had spread. It made me think I should’ve kept my worries to myself.Even if Cameron could satisfy my fears, there wasn’t anything saving me from the problem that it created with Shay.
I rubbed my brow. Now Cam was in on it. The fact that she had put those questions into his head only to hang up on him probably didn’t put him into a good frame of mind. “We should’ve just cut our losses and let it drop.”
“What?” Shay stepped into the hallway between our bedrooms. “What did you say?” She had her bonnet on and her face was clean of makeup, leaving her skin glowing after the wash she had given it.
“It would’ve just been easier to let go of all of this,” I said. “Trying to salvage something is stupid. Why did I do this?”
“Because you felt something,” she answered easily. “You don’t pursue a relationship with a person, or people, if you don’t feel something for them.” She put her hands on her hips. “What are you gonna do from here, Grace? Quit your job, change your number, and leave three men wondering what happened?”
“Well, if at least two of them are in a relationship with me just to use me physically and throw me away as soon as they’ve had their fill, then yes, that’s something I can do. Especially if it involves saving myself from the eventual emotional nosedive I’ll have to face,” I said, my voice raising. “I didn’t string them along. I didn’t maintain a relationship with each of them just so I could maliciously cut them off. I didn’t pretend that I wanted this, because I did want it.” I gestured to myself. “I wanted something. I wanted them. I liked the way it made me feel to be with each of them, even when I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. But I don’t want to sacrifice myself more than I already have.”
Shay pursed her lips. “I was pretty positive this was what you were gonna end up doing after you came barging into the bank accusing me of being the reason it blew up in your face.” She waved a hand. “And now you’re jumping to a grand escapeinstead of facing the consequences of your actions. There’s no way for you to walk away from this and not be the asshole, Grace.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but I stalled out. She was right. I was just trying to dodge what I had coming to me. I slouched further into the couch.
“That’s what I thought,” she said, going back into the bathroom.
I had nothing to say. I did the only thing I could think to do. Pout and try not to cry.
There was a tap at the door, and I stood to let Cam in. He stood just outside, and I didn’t give him the chance to say anything. I stepped into him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He pressed his lips against my brow and, with a little urging, backed me into the apartment. He closed the door behind him and just held me.
“What happened?” he asked gently. “I thought we had a solid plan for where we were going.” He pulled away a little and studied my face. “Why did it change?”
“I talked to my brother,” I said into his chest.
“And he put the idea into your head that we were gonna do to you what you did to us?” he asked. At my nod, he sighed and leaned back against the door, still holding me. “I came to you after we were together because I couldn’t shake this need that I had.” He cupped my face and made me look up at him. “You gave me a taste of something that I wanted more of when I knew I shouldn’t.”
“You don’t think I’m an asshole?” I asked.
“You’re definitely an asshole, Grace,” he said with a snort. “You can’t do something like this and not be a jerk on some level.” He leaned down, so he pressed his brow against mine. “But you’re not a complete asshole. You realized what you didwas wrong, and you tried to fix it, you tried to make things better.” He waited for a beat, closing his eyes. “Right?”
“That right there,” Shay said from behind me. “That man holding you right there should be the reason you can’t just give up.”
Cam pulled back to look at Shay. “Give up? Is she thinking about ghosting us, then?” He sighed heavily, his arms tightening around me. “Yeah, Grace, you’re an asshole. The fact that you’re considering that as an option makes you a massive asshole.”
“You mean to tell me I should just let you guys run right through me and leave me?” I asked.
“You mean I shouldn’t have the right to do to you what you did to me?” he asked back. He didn’t let go of me. “But here’s the thing. If you let me handcuff you, fuck your face, and leave you hanging for the night, it would put the two of us on even ground.” He leaned closer to me, his voice lowering. “But I only want that if you’re willing. I don’t want to push you into something that you don’t want. I am perfectly fine to continue with what we’re doing. Whether it’s the two of us or all three of us fucking you.”
“Cameron,” Shay objected, “I don’t need to hear the details of what you do with my friend.” She covered her ears. “What are you trying to do? Corrupt me?”
“Not you,” Cameron said to Shay, but he didn’t look away from me. “I don’t want to leave you,” he whispered to me. “I want you so you can’t just cut me off.”
“I won’t,” I said after a beat.
“That’s good to hear that from you,” Shay said as she came into the living room. “But can you confirm that Darius and Adam aren’t gonna do her like she did them?”
That got Cam’s attention. He pulled away from me and shook his head. “They haven’t said anything to me about it. I haven’t got a reason to think that they would,” he said, and from hisexpression, it looked like he was telling the truth. “Putting a lot of time into something just to fuck it up on purpose?” He shrugged against me. “I get that sometimes the long game has its rewards, but comparing it to the time we had before Kyle walked in on us, the jig should be up by now.”
That was true. Especially after the last time the four of us were all together. “So there’s no reason that I should worry?” I asked.
“Are you sure? Can you really speak for my brother?” Shay asked. “Or Adam?”
“I can’t speak for Darius. But I live with Adam,” he pointed out. “He would’ve shown his hand by now.”
“So you don’t think that he’d try to knock her up? I mean,” Shay kept going, as she sat on the couch, “there’s no better way than to mess up an unconventional relationship than to put a baby into the mix.”