The doctors weren’t sure how strong she would be when she woke up. They were reluctant to estimate how long she had left, but her doctor told us this infection had severely weakened her. He told us we had to be prepared: when she finally woke up, we could be facing only weeks.
As much as that blow hurt, as much as it tore my heart from my chest, I tried to take joy in the small victories. I would have weeks to help fulfill Poppy’s final wishes. I would have the time I needed to truly say goodbye, to hear her laugh, see her smile and kiss her soft lips.
Jorie and Ruby entered the room first, going to the opposite side of the bed to where I sat to squeeze Poppy’s hand.
Deacon and Judson stopped bedside me, laying their hands on my shoulder in support. The minute word had spread about Poppy, my friends had cut school to come see me. As soon as I’d laid eyes on them rushing through the hallway, I knew that everyone knew. I knew thattheyknew. They’d been by my side ever since.
They were upset that Poppy and I hadn’t said a thing to any of them except for Jorie. But in the end they understood why Poppy didn’t want a fuss. I think they loved her even more for that. They saw her true strength.
Over the past week, when I hadn’t been in school, it was my friends who had brought my assignments from my teachers. They had looked out for me, as I had done for Poppy. Deacon and Judson said they were determined I didn’t flunk out when we’d all reached our senior year together. It was the furthest thing from my mind, but I appreciated their concern.
In fact, this week showed me how much they meant to me. Even though Poppy was my entire life, I realized that I had love elsewhere. I had friends who would walk through fire for me. My mamma also came every day. As did my pappa. He didn’t seem to care that I mostly ignored him. He didn’t seem to care if we sat in silence. I thought he only cared that he was here, that he was beside me.
I wasn’t sure what to do with that yet.
Jorie looked up, catching my eye. “How is she today?”
I rose from my chair and sat on the edge of Poppy’s bed. I linked her fingers through mine and held on tight. Leaning forward, I brushed the hair back from her face and kissed her on her forehead. “She’s getting stronger each day,” I said softly, and then for Poppy’s ears only, I whispered, “Our friends are here, baby. They’ve come to see you again.”
My heart lurched when I thought I saw the flickering of her lashes, but when I stared longer, I realized it must have been my imagination. I’d been desperate to see her again for too many hours to count. Then I relaxed, knowing that, over the next few days, seeing these things wouldn’t simply be in my imagination. They’d be real.
My friends sat down on the couch near the large window. “The doctors have decided to start gradually bringing her out of her coma tonight,” I said. “It might take a couple of days for her to be fully conscious, but bringing her round slowly is what they believe is best. Her immune system has strengthened as much as they think it will. The infection has gone. She’s ready to come back to us.” I exhaled and added quietly, “Finally. I’ll finally be able to see her eyes again.”
“That’s good, Rune,” Jorie replied and gave me a weak smile. There was an expectant silence; my friends all glanced at each other.
“What?” I asked, trying to read their faces.
It was Ruby who replied. “What will she be like when she wakes?”
My stomach tightened. “Weak,” I whispered. Turning back to Poppy, I stroked down her cheek. “But she’ll be here again. I don’t care if I have to carry her everywhere we go. I just want to see her smile. I’ll have her back with me, where she belongs … at least for a little while.”
I heard a sniff and saw Ruby crying. Jorie held her close.
I sighed in sympathy, but said, “I know you love her, Ruby. But when she wakes, when she finds out everyone knows, act normal. She hates seeing those she loves upset. It’s the worst part of all of this for her.” I squeezed Poppy’s fingers. “When she wakes we need to make her happy, like she does everyone else. We can’t show her that we’re sad.”
Ruby nodded her head, then asked, “She won’t ever be coming back to school again, will she?”
I shook my head. “Neither will I. Not until…” I trailed off, unwilling to finish off with those words. I wasn’t ready to say them yet. I wasn’t ready to face all of this.
Not yet.
“Rune,” Deacon said, a serious tone to his voice. “What are you doing next year? For college? Have you even applied anywhere?” He wrung his hands together. “You’ve got me concerned. We’re all leaving. And you haven’t even mentioned a thing. We’re just real worried.”
“I’m not even thinking that far ahead,” I replied. “My life is here, right now, in this moment. All that will come later. Poppy’s my focus. She’s only ever been my focus. I don’t give a damn about next year or what I’ll do.”
A silence descended on the room. I saw in Deacon’s face that he wanted to say more, but he didn’t dare.
“Will she make prom?”
My heart sank as Jorie gazed sadly at her best friend. “I don’t know,” I replied. “She wanted to, so badly, but it’s still six weeks out.” I shrugged. “The doctors just don’t know.” I turned to look at Jorie. “It was one of her last wishes. To go to her senior prom.” I swallowed and turned back to Poppy. “In the end all she wants to do is be kissed and see out prom. That’s all she’s asking for. Nothing grand, nothing life-changing … just those things. With me.”
I gave my friends a moment, as Jorie and Ruby began to cry quietly. But I didn’t break. I just silently counted down the hours until she came back to me. Imagining the moment I would see her smile once more. Look up at me.
Squeeze my hand in hers.
After an hour or so, my friends stood up. Judson dropped papers on the small table beside Poppy’s bed that I used as a desk. “Math and geography, man. The teachers wrote everything on there for you. Hand-in dates and such.” I stood and said goodbye to my friends, thanking them for coming. When they left, I moved to the table to complete the homework. I’d finish this work, then take my camera outside. My camera, which I hadn’t removed from my neck in weeks.
The camera that was a part of me again.