The server approached, carrying our crawfish, and placed the buckets on the paper-covered table. Rune reluctantly released my hand, and we started ripping into the mountain of seafood. I closed my eyes when I tasted the meaty flesh on my tongue, a burst of lemon hitting my throat.
I groaned at how good it was.
Rune shook his head, laughing at me. I threw a broken bit of shell into his lap and he scowled. Wiping my hand on the napkin, I tipped my head back toward the night sky. The stars were bright in their cloudless blanket of black.
“Have you ever seen anything so beautiful as this little creek?” I asked. Rune looked up, then out along the quiet creek, the reflection of blue-stringed lights twinkling back at us.
“I’d say yes,” he answered in a matter-of-fact tone, then pointed to me. “But I get what you’re saying. Even when I was back in Oslo, I would sometimes picture this place, wondering if you had been back.”
“No, this is the first time. Mama and Daddy aren’t real big crawfish fans; it was always Mamaw.” I smiled, picturing her sitting beside us at this table, after sneaking us away. “Do you remember,”—I laughed—“she would bring her hipflask full of bourbon with her, to slip into her sweet tea?” I laughed harder. “Do you remember her putting her finger over her lips and saying,‘Now don’t y’all be telling your folks about this. I had the good grace to bring y’all here, rescuing y’all from church. So no loose lips!’?” Rune was smiling too, but his eyes were watching me laugh.
“You miss her,” he said.
I nodded my head. “Every day. I wonder what other adventures we could have been on together. I often wonder if we would have gone to Italy to see Assisi, just like we talked about. I wonder if we would have gone to Spain, to run with the bulls.” At that thought I laughed again. A peace settled over me, then I added, “But, the best part of all this is I’ll see her again soon.” I met Rune’s eyes. “When I return home.”
Like my mamaw had taught me, I never ever thought of what would happen to me as dying. The end. It was the beginning of something great. My soul would be returning home where it belonged.
I hadn’t realized I had upset Rune, until he rose from his chair to walk along the small pier next to our table, the pier that led to the middle of the creek.
The server came over. I watched Rune light a cigarette as he disappeared into the dark, only a cloud of smoke betraying where he stood.
“Shall I clear up, ma’am?” the server inquired.
I smiled and nodded. “Yes, please.” I stood, and he looked puzzled, seeing Rune on the deck. “Can we have the check as well, please?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied.
I walked out onto the deck to meet Rune, following the tiny speck of his lit cigarette. When I arrived at his side he was leaning over the railing, staring absently at nothing.
A soft crease was marring his forehead. His back was tense; it tensed even more when I stopped beside him. He took in a long drag of his cigarette and released it into the gentle breeze.
“I can’t deny what’s happening to me, Rune,” I said cautiously. He remained silent. “I can’t live in a fantasy. I know what’s coming. I know how this will go.”
Rune’s breathing was ragged and his head dropped. When he lifted his eyes, he said brokenly, “It’s not fair.”
My heart cried for his pain. I could see it racking his face, see it in the bunching of his muscles. Leaning forward on the railing, I inhaled the cool air. When Rune’s breathing had settled, I said, “It would have been really unfair had we not been gifted the next precious months.”
Rune’s forehead fell slowly to rest upon his hands.
“Don’t you see a bigger picture for us both here, Rune? You came back to Blossom Grove only a few weeks after I had been sent home to live out the rest of my life. To enjoy the limited few months granted by medication.” I looked at the stars again, feeling the presence of something greater smiling down on us. “For you it’s unfair. I believe the opposite. We came back together for a reason. Perhaps it’s a lesson we may struggle to learn until it’s learned.”
I turned and pushed back the long hair covering his face. In the moonlight, underneath the glittering stars, I saw a tear tumble down his cheeks.
I cleared it with a kiss.
Rune turned into me, tucking his head into the crook of my neck. I wrapped my hand around his head, holding him close.
Rune’s back rose with a deep inhale. “I brought you here tonight to remind you of when we were happy. When we were inseparable, best friends and more. But—”
He cut his words off. I gently pushed back his head to look at his face “What?” I asked. “Please, tell me. I promise I’m okay.”
He searched my eyes, then stared across the still water. When his gaze returned to me, he asked, “But what if this is the last time we ever get to do this?”
Pushing myself between him and the railing, I took the cigarette from his hand and threw it into the creek. Standing on my tiptoes, I took both his cheeks in my hands. “Then we had tonight,” I asserted. Rune’s face winced at my words. “We’ve had this memory. We’ve had this cherished moment.” My head tipped to the side and a nostalgic smile pulled on my lips. “I used to know a boy, a boy I loved with my whole heart, who lived for a single moment. Who told me that a single moment could change the world. It could change someone’s life. That one moment could make someone’s life, in that brief second, infinitely better or infinitely worse.”
He closed his eyes, but I continued to speak. “This, tonight, being at this creek with you again,” I said, feeling a sense of peace fill my soul, “remembering my mamaw and why I loved her so much … it has made my life infinitely better.Thismoment, given to me byyou, I will remember always. I will take it with me to … wherever I go.”
Rune’s eyes opened. I pulled him down further. “You gave me tonight. You’ve returned. We can’t change the facts, we can’t change our fates, but we can stilllive. We can live as hard and as fast as we can while we have these days before us. We can be us again: Poppy and Rune.”