“I would and I did,” I said, curtly.
“Why?” she whispered.
I smiled humorlessly. “Because you’re right. I’m not the boy you knew. I was filled with so much anger when I was taken from you, that after a while, it was the only thing I felt. I tried to hide it when we talked, fought against it, knowing I still had you with me even if we were thousands of miles apart. But when you cut me off, I didn’t care anymore. I let it consume me. It has consumed me so much since then that it hasbecomeme.” I reached down for Poppy’s hand and brought it over my chest.
“I’m half a heart. This, who I am now, was due to a life devoid of you. This darkness, this anger, was born from you not being by my side.Poppymin. My adventurer. My girl.” And then the pain returned. For that brief few minutes, I had forgotten our new reality. “And now,” I said through gritted teeth, “now you tell me you’re leaving me for good. I…” I choked on my words.
“Rune,” Poppy murmured, and threw herself into my arms, wrapping hers tightly around my waist.
Instantly, my arms locked around her like a vise. As her body melted into mine, I breathed. I breathed the first clean breath in a long while. Then it became restricted, strangled, when I said, “I can’t lose you,Poppymin. I can’t. I can’t let you go. I can’t live without you. You’re my forever always. You’re meant to walk beside me through this life. You need me and I need you. That’s all there is to it.” I felt her shaking in my arms. “I won’t be able to let you go. Because wherever you go, I have to go too. I’ve tried living without you, it doesn’t work.”
Slowly, and as carefully as she could, Poppy lifted her head, separating our bodies just enough to look at me and whisper brokenly, “I can’t take you with me where I’m going.”
As her words sunk in, I stumbled back, freeing my arms from around her waist. I didn’t stop until I sat down on the edge of the bed. I couldn’t handle it.How the hell do I deal with all of this?
I couldn’t understand how Poppy could be so strong.
How did she face this death sentence with such dignity? All I wanted to do was curse at the world, to destroy everything in my path.
My head fell forward. And I cried. I cried tears that I didn’t realize I had left. It was my reserve, the last wave of the devastation I was feeling. The tears that acknowledged the truth I didn’t want to accept.
ThatPoppyminwas dying.
She was really, truly dying.
I felt the bed dip beside me. I smelled her sweet scent. I followed her as she guided me to lie back in bed. I followed her silent instruction to fall into her arms. I released everything that had been pent up inside as she stroked her hands through my hair. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held on, trying my damnedest to memorize how this felt. How she felt in my arms. Her heartbeat strong and her body warm.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but, eventually, the tears dried up. I didn’t move from Poppy’s arms. She didn’t stop caressing my back with her fingers.
I managed to wet my throat enough to ask, “How did it all happen,Poppymin? How did you find out?”
Poppy was quiet for a few seconds, before she sighed. “It doesn’t matter, Rune.”
I sat up and looked into her eyes. “I want to know.”
Poppy ran the back of her hand over my cheek and nodded. “I know you do. And you will. But not tonight. This—us, like this—is all that matters tonight. Nothing more.”
I didn’t break my gaze from hers, and neither did she. A numb kind of peace had settled between us. The air was thick as I leaned in, wanting nothing more than to press my mouth to hers. To feel her lips against mine.
To add another kiss to her jar.
When my mouth was just a hairsbreadth from Poppy’s, I moved to kiss her cheek instead. It was soft and gentle.
But it wasn’t enough.
Shifting upward, I pressed another kiss, and another, to every inch of her cheek, over her forehead and across her nose. Poppy shifted beneath me. As I drew back, I guessed from the understanding in her expression that Poppy knew I wasn’t pushing things.
Because as much as I didn’t want to accept it, we were different people now. The boy and girl who kissed each other as easily as breathing had changed.
A true kiss would come when we’d worked our way back to us.
I planted one more kiss on the end of Poppy’s nose, causing a light giggle to spill from her lips. It seemed as if the anger had subsided just enough to allow me to feel its joy take root in my heart.
As I pressed my forehead to Poppy’s, I assured her, “My lips are yours. Not for anyone else.”
In response, Poppy whispered a kiss on my cheek. I felt the effect of this kiss travel all through my body. I tucked my head in the crook of her neck and allowed myself a small smile when she whispered in my ear, “My lips are yours too.”
I rolled to pull Poppy into my arms, and our eyes eventually drifted to a close. I fell asleep quicker than I thought. Tired, heartbroken and emotionally scarred, sleep came quickly. But then it always did when Poppy was by my side.