Then dark thoughts hit me hard and fast. The question that made me feel physically sick … had he kissed someone else in the past two years? Had he given anyone his lips, when he’d forever promised them to me?
Or worse: had he made love with another girl?
The shrill call of the school bell tore me from my thoughts. I stood up from my desk, making my way to the hallway. I was thankful it was the end of the school day.
I was tired and I ached. But more than that, I hurt in my heart. Because I knew that Rune would be back in the house next door from tonight, in school the next day, and I wouldn’t be able to speak to him. I wouldn’t be able to touch him or smile at him, like I’d dreamed about doing since the day I didn’t return his calls.
And I wouldn’t be able to kiss him sweetly.
I had to stay away.
My stomach churned when I realized he probably wouldn’t care about me anymore. Not after the way I simply cut him off—no explanation, nothing.
Pushing through the doors into the cool, fresh air, I inhaled deeply. Feeling instantly better, I tucked my hair behind my ears. Now that it was styled into a short bob, it always felt strange. I missed my long hair.
Beginning my walk home, I smiled up at the blue sky and the birds swooping around the tops of the trees. Nature calmed me; it always had.
I had only made it a few hundred yards when I saw Judson’s car, surrounded by Rune’s old friends. Avery was the only girl amongst a crowd of boys. I put my head down and tried to rush past, but she called out my name. I ground to a halt and forced myself to turn in her direction. Avery pushed off from where she had been leaning against the car and stepped forward. Deacon tried to pull her back, but she shrugged off his arm. I saw by her smug expression that she wasn’t going to be kind.
“Have you heard?” she asked, a smile on her pink lips. Avery was beautiful. When I arrived back in town, I couldn’t believe how beautiful she had become. Her make-up was always perfect and her long blond hair was always neatly styled. She was everything a boy would want in a girl, and everything most girls wanted to be.
I pushed my hair back behind my ear, a habit that showed my nerves. “Heard what?” I asked, knowing exactly what she meant.
“About Rune. He’s coming back to Blossom Grove.”
I could see the glint of happiness in her blue eyes. I glanced away, determined to keep my composure, and shook my head. “No, Avery, I hadn’t heard. I haven’t been back long myself.”
I saw Ruby, Deacon’s girlfriend, walking up to the car, Jorie walking beside her. When they saw Avery talking to me, they hurried to join us. I loved them both for this. Only Jorie knew where I’d been for the past couple of years,whyI had left. But from the minute I’d returned, Ruby had acted as though I’d never been away. They were true friends, I had realized.
“What’s going on here?” Ruby asked casually, but I could hear the edge of protectiveness in her voice.
“I was asking Poppy if she knew Rune was coming back to Blossom Grove tonight,” Avery replied tartly.
Ruby looked at me curiously.
“I didn’t know,” I told her. Ruby smiled sadly at me.
Deacon walked up behind his girlfriend and put an arm around her shoulders. He flicked his chin at me in greeting. “Hey, Pops.”
“Hey,” I replied.
Deacon turned to Avery. “Ave, Rune hasn’t spoken to Poppy in years, I’ve told you this. She doesn’t even know him anymore. Of course she wouldn’t know he was coming back, why would he even tell her?”
I listened to Deacon and knew he wasn’t being cruel to me. But it didn’t mean that his words didn’t cut as deeply as a spear through the heart. And now I knew; I knew that Rune never spoke of me. It was obvious he and Deacon had remained close. It was obvious to me that I was nothing to him now. That I was never mentioned.
Avery shrugged. “I just wondered, is all. She and Rune were inseparable until he left.”
Taking this as my cue to leave, I waved my hand. “I have to go.” I quickly turned and headed home. I decided to cut through the park that would lead me to the blossom grove. As I walked through the empty grove, the cherry blossom trees bare of their pretty leaves, a sadness filled me.
These bare branches were as empty as I felt. Yearning for the thing that made them complete, but knowing that no matter how much they wished, they couldn’t get them back until spring.
The world simply didn’t work that way.
When I got home, my mama was in the kitchen. Ida and Savannah were sitting at the table doing their homework.
“Hey, baby,” said my mama. I walked over and gave her a hug, holding on to her waist just that little bit tighter than usual.
My mama tilted up my head, a worried look in her tired eyes. “What’s wrong?”