For a moment, she didn’t speak. But then she said, “I wish I could tell you I don’t think it’s a possibility, but I won’t lie to you. There’s a reason she asked you to make that vow.”
“Because she knew I would never be able to kill her without it,” I finished her thought, even though the words were knives against the ribbons of my soul. Shuddering, I closed my eyes. “And she was right. I don’t think I can do this.”
She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pulled me to her chest. With my face nestled between her breasts, I kept my eyes closed and just listened to the thump of her heartbeat against my ear. How had it come to this? I’d fought so hard to protect this world from the return of the gods, convinced I was doing the right thing in my war against Oberon. My hands carried the blood of countless lives. My kingdom, and his, withered beneath a persistent blanket of mist and shadow. I’d destroyed this realm, and for what? It hadn’t done any good. Oberon had still gone through with his plan to use the power of the god, and it had taken control of him. Now it seemed he might not even be the enemy I’d sought all these years. That enemy might, instead, be my own mother.
“You can do anything. You’re the King of Shadow, the most powerful fae alive. And I will be here to help you.”
I lifted my head to gaze up at her. “You should leave these cursed lands. Go to the mortal kingdoms with the others. You don’t have to stay and fight a battle that isn’t yours.”
“Itismy battle now.” That fierce defiance I loved so much rose in her eyes again. “I will not run away from this. And I will not run away from you, from us.”
Warmth soothed away the fractured lines around the edges of my heart. She slid her fingers into my hair and tugged me to her breasts again, where I rested my head. We stayed awake for a good long while, but we didn’t speak any more about this. We didn’t need to. Not now. We just needed to hold each other like two broken rafts tied together, tumbling through a storm-tossed sea. Right now it felt as though we might never find still waters again. But we would find a way to survive this as long as we did not let go.
Together, we would find a way to conquer the storm.
Twenty-Nine
Kalen
FOUR HUNDRED YEARS AGO
Niamh, the Queen’s Shadow, dropped to her knees before me, bowing her head. Her shoulders slumped, and her eyes were streaked red, as if she’d been crying. I sat up straighter on the throne, alarm flashing through me. I’d never seen the stoic warrior display any emotion other than calm determination, steady strength, and fierce competence.
“Do not bow, Niamh. I’m not your king. What’s happened? What did you find out?”
Niamh had gone on a mission to bring my mother back to Dubnos after she’d vanished without a trace from Albyria’s castle halls. Oberon said she’d left ages ago without her guards. Everyone assumed she’d died somewhere in the wilderness, but I knew that wasn’t true. My mother was bold and brave, but she would never travel alone. And we’d been searching for years now. No one—not a single villager or traveler—had seen any sign of her.
Oberon must have taken her captive, or worse. The last time I saw her, she’d told me he’d asked her to marry him, and she’d turned him down. This was his revenge. I grew more convinced of it with every angry beat of my heart.
Niamh lifted her eyes but did not stand. “There are lots of rumors flying around Albyria. I can’t make heads or tails of what’s true. Some say he was angry about her rejection so he locked her in a dungeon cell. Others say he killed her. Some guards are whispering they saw blood on his tunic, but others insist she left the city and that bandits must have taken her.”
A fury I’d never known filled my veins with fire. I rose from my throne—my mother’s throne. I’d only taken it in her absence because someone needed to rule. But I was not the king. She was the ruler of this realm. The people loved her. How could they not? She was everything they needed and more. Not me.
“I’m going to Albyria to find out what happened. And if Oberon truly is behind this, it’s time for war.” I started toward the door.
Niamh jumped up and fell into step beside me. “Kalen—sorry, my prince, I—”
“Just call me Kal.”
“All right.” She moved in front of me to stop my progress toward the door. “Kal, I don’t think that’s a good idea. You should stay here and ready yourself, just in case he declares war against the Kingdom of Shadow. Prepare your army. We can send scouts to watch the lands beyond the border.” A beat passed. “And we should schedule your coronation.”
“You can’t mean that.”
She winced, her eyes full of sorrow. “This is just as painful for me too.”
“I find that hard to believe. She’s my mother.”
“Fair enough. But it doesn’t change the fact I love her too. She was a good queen.” She rested her hand on my shoulder. “We have to face the truth now. She is gone, and you must be our king.”
I closed my eyes, turmoil cutting through my heart like a scythe. Deep down, I’d known for months she was never coming back. Years, even. And I’d been the one to send her to her death. If I hadn’t suggested she visit Oberon, she’d still be here. My knees almost buckled, but I couldn’t show weakness in front of the Queen’s Shadow. Or anyone, for that matter. Not now. If I were to become king, I had to show enduring strength, even in the worst moment of my life.
“I am going to Albyria,” I said firmly. “Quietly, just for a few days. Oberon won’t even know I’m there. I want to hear what they’re saying with my own ears, and then we will return and begin preparations for the coronation. If necessary.”
And then war.
Niamh nodded. “Then I’m coming with you.”
* * *