“Everything all right, Kal?” Toryn asked as Boudica settled on my shoulder. He came up on my other side and caught the look on my face. His eyes softened. “You’re wondering if you should do it.”
I clasped his shoulder and pulled him close. “These are your people. Your family. If I do this, I need you to swear to me that it’s what you want.”
“I told you before.”
“I need you to swear it,” I said, my voice cracking. “Your mother could be down there. If I do this, none of them will survive.”
Toryn’s expression darkened. “She’s not down there. Trust me, I’d know.”
“Well, then where is she?”
“She’s in her castle in Gailfean, where it’s safe. She won’t fight her own battles.”
I nodded, glancing at Niamh and then Alastair. “All three of you are in agreement with this?”
“If you want to get to the little dove before Oberon traps her forever,” Alastair said, “this is your best move.”
“Fuck.” My power thrummed in my veins, as if it sensed my temptation to use it. It yearned to pour across the storm fae lands just beyond my city walls, destroying every living thing in its path. The need was almost intoxicating. For so long, I’d pushed this power down, forcing it to stay locked up inside me with iron chains. Knowing that Oberon was so close to securing Tessa for eternity ate away at those chains like venomous acid. It wanted out. And with Toryn’s encouragement, it was hard to find a reason not to give in to that desire.
“All right.” I palmed the stone wall and narrowed my gaze on the storm fae army. “Get everyone inside the castle and the barracks. Now.”
“Absolutely, Your Grace,” Niamh said before grabbing Alastair’s arm and leading him down the battlements. They’d gather my army, who was waiting for the impending attack, and they’d usher them back into the barracks where they’d be safe from my power. Even the archers. Toryn was the only one who stayed by my side.
“I’m a bad fucking king,” I muttered to myself. “What’s worse is, I don’t know what I would have done if you’d said no. I think I would have used my power against them regardless. I can’t reach Tessa. She could be dead. Or Oberon could be doing something terrible to her. I can’t wait any longer, Toryn. I have todo something. She needs me.”
“You care about her. More than you even want to admit, I think.” His voice dropped an octave. “Truth be told, I’m a little jealous you found someone who can make you feel that way. I’ll never get that now.”
I glanced at my old friend, surprised he felt that way. “Don’t say that. Any woman would be lucky to have you.”
“No one wants a powerless fae covered in scars,” he said so quietly that I almost didn’t hear him.
“That’s not true, Toryn."
Boudica stirred on my shoulder, twitching her wings. I turned toward the castle and saw Niamh waving at me from the courtyard. I nodded and whispered to my raven. She took off at once and fled for the skies.
“You should go inside,” I told Toryn, my voice turning hard. “I don’t want you to have to see this. And you’re not safe standing this close to me.”
“I’m staying right here, Kal. You’re going to need me when that power leaves your body.” Toryn stepped just behind me and leaned against the wall. “You don’t have to be alone in this, even though you think you should be. You don’t have to be alone in anything ever again.”
“I am your king,” I ground out. “I can command you to return to the safety of the castle.”
“Let me be here for this. For you.”
Closing my eyes, I nodded, relenting to his wishes. My power horrified me. It always had. It was too volatile, storming through my body as if it had a mind of its own, as if some other entity took over when that spark came alive beneath my skin. It was different than the mists. This power, the destructive part of me, it was something else. Sometimes, I felt like it wanted to consume the entire world.
“Just don’t stand directly behind me,” I said to Toryn without turning. “Go behind that pillar there. I won’t have the same thing happen to you that happened to…” My voice broke.Rhiannon.It had been far too many years since I’d been able to speak her name out loud.
“All right. But I’m right there if you need me.” His boots clicked on the stone battlement, carrying him away from me. He was still too close for comfort, but I knew this was as good as it was going to get. I wouldn’t force him to go inside the castle. Not when I was aiming my powers on his people. He’d left them behind centuries ago, but I knew he held on to his love for them the same way I held on to love for my own. Fae emotions could burn hot for eternity.
I turned my attention back to the war camp. The storm fae were gathered around their fires, cooking their stew. A few bursts of laughter drifted toward me on the wind, and my stomach turned. They had no idea they were about to die.
“Are you ready?” I called to Toryn.
A pause. And then, “I’m ready.”
Breathing in, I curled my fists and let my eager power build up inside of me, a windstorm of destruction racing through my veins. Tessa’s face flashed in my mind, her brown eyes staring into my soul, unblinking. My breath rattled. For her, I could do this. For her, I would do anything.
Before I could back down, I loosed my power on the world below. The force of it knocked me back, and my knees slammed against the stone. A shuddering crack exploded outward, like an earthquake rushing across the war camp. Not a single scream raced up into the night. Instead, a horrible silence followed the thunder in my ears.