“Jace, have you guys even decided on a management company? It seems like you’re putting the cart before the horse.”
He goes to the fridge and grabs a carton of milk and pours a glass. Drinks it in one gulp. “I guess you’re right. We’re supposed to hammer all that out next weekend at Ty’s while you’re at Zoey’s shower.”
“Hey, I’m not trying to be difficult. I think it’s sweet that you want me to be with you. But Fee and I…”
“Yeah, yeah.” He circles his finger in the air. “She has the restaurant and you have the horse rescue. You told me about the conversation you two had.”
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?” I cross my arms and glare at him. “What did I do to make you so snippy with me?”
“It’s not you, Poppy. I’m just feeling like our life is a little out of control, and I don’t do well with it.” He sits at the table in the breakfast nook and slumps over. “I’m sad we lost another baby. I’m sad that the band can’t make a decision. But what makes me saddest is that at some point soon, I might be without my girls for weeks at a time and we still haven’t even discussed getting married.”
I sit and take his hands in mine. “I’m feeling out of sorts too. I hate that my body is failing us. I hate that we have no idea what’s up with the band. I’m also scared to get pregnant again, but I’m more scared of not trying.”
“I don’t want to lose another one.” Tears well up in his eyes. “It’s so hard on you. You’re bleeding. Hormonal. Do you think we should call it a day?”
When Jace cries, which is rare, I can’t help but join him. Tears stream down my face. “Dr. Madison still feels we have a chance.”
“I can’t help but wonder if the risks you’re taking are worth it. If we want kids, there are plenty of ways to make that happen. I mean, you’ve made your brand on rescuing animals. Maybe…” He looks up at me, questioning.
I nod. “I’ve thought about it. Can we give it another shot before we start going down that path?”
“Of course. If you’re up for it.” We clutch each other’s hands tightly across the table.
“As for LTZ, you already spoke with Zane. Hopefully, things will be cleared up this weekend when Connor and Ronni arrive.” I knee him under the table. “Take control and force them to make some sort of decision. One way or another, something needs to move forward. Stagnation is evil.”
This elicits a smirk, signifying the Jace I know and love is back in the building.
For now.
I guess we’ll see what next weekend brings.
* * *
On the ferry ride over to Seattle, Jace informs me of a little detail I hadn’t been aware of.
“So, let me get this straight,” I say to him on the drive to Ty and Zoey’s after I’ve had a chance to digest. “The day you sent Zoey home when I was bleeding, she now thinks I was pretending not to feel well and that I was mad at you because the guys were coming out to the ranch to rehearse?”
Jace grits his teeth. “Uh, yeah?”
“Um… How in the world did you think that would fly?”
He shrugs. “I mean, in my defense, I was scared out of my mind and not thinking straight. All I knew is you were frickin’bleedingand you hadn’t told her we were trying for a baby. I might have panicked. I’m not the best liar, you know.”
“So, wait, does Zoey still think you’re all going to Poulsbo for the night?”
“Um… Yeah?”
“Ohmygawd. How are you going to explain why we’re driving in together?” I shake my head and laugh.
He looks over at me, his eyebrows raised. “Fuck, I didn’t even think…”
“And where is Ty?” I’m stunned at how inept these guys are when they have to plan things for themselves, but it doesn’t stop me from laughing at Jace. “Rookie mistakes, I tell you.”
“I don’t know! I posted a bunch of pictures and took funny videos, Poppy.” He’s laughing so hard he’s heaving. “I didn’t handle diversionary logistics.”
“Clearly. Pull over and let’s switch sides. When we drive through the gate, duck down. Once we’re through, you can jump out and hide until we leave for our walk.Gawd. What would you do without me?”
He wipes his eyes and clutches his flat belly. “I’m never planning on finding out.