Flick hooted. “You think that they were there because they wanted to learn to protect themselves? How sweet.”
Kai scowled at her. “Why else would they be there?”
Flick laughed harder. When she thought that she could compose a sentence that made sense, she spoke again. “They were there because you have a nice face and a spectacular body. I admit this reluctantly because the man is a pill, but so does Mac. And Sawyer and, frankly, all of your bodyguards.”
“They have to maintain a certain level of strength and fitness,” Kai said, dropping his gaze.
“They came there to perv over you and your men. If they learned five percent of what you tried to teach them. then I'll eat my hat."
Flick noticed the red stain on his cheeks. “Does that embarrass you? Women thinking you’re hot? Oh, come on, Kai, you must know that you’re a good-looking guy!”
Kai lifted his eyes and she saw an emotion she couldn’t identify. She thought it might be vulnerability but instantly dismissed it. Kai was the least vulnerable man she knew. “Is that why you’re here with me? Because I have a reasonable set of muscles and an okay face? Because I’m a pretty package?” he asked quietly.
She opened her mouth to retort, to tell him that she wasn’t that shallow, but the sadness in his eyes stopped her. She could be flippant and skate over this subject, but she sensed that he wanted, no...neededmore. She replaced the cap on the peroxide bottle and thought about what she wanted to say. “You have a beautiful body I adore and a very, very okay face.”
Disappointment and irritation skittered across his face and he pushed back his chair to stand up. But Flick had anticipated his move and stood in front of him, stopping him from leaving. When he just looked at her warily, she scooted onto his lap, her knees on either side of her thighs. She lifted her hands and held his face, looking at him.
“I love the package, Manning. It gives me an enormous amount of pleasure. But I also enjoy the fact that you are chronically addicted to my chocolate chip cookies and that you seem to like my dog as much as you like me. It floors me that you can talk about guns and art with equal authority. I admire the fact that you give up your time to instruct a bunch of giggling women so that a young girl might regain her confidence. You’re loyal and funny and, under that grumpy exterior, an incredibly good and kind man.”
“Kind, good. You make me sound like a nun,” Kai scoffed, but his eyes remained on hers, a little hopeful and a lot nervous.
“Kind and good,” Flick reiterated. “There isn’t enough kindness in the world and I think that you embody both.”
“God, Flick, I was a special forces soldier and a street rat. I’ve never been fuckingkindandgood.”
“I think you are.” Flick bent her head and gently kissed the side of his mouth, just brushing his cut. This man needed tenderness like nobody she’d ever met before. “I don’t care about your past. I think this Kai, the one whose lap I’m sitting on, is pretty damn wonderful. The fact that I like the packaging is an added bonus.”
Kai’s hands tightened on her knees as pleasure, emotional pleasure, rippled through him. “You’re nuts.”
“Sure. About you.”
“Flick—”
She heard the warning in his voice, the panic at what she might be suggesting, implying. But this wasn’t a time for words, and she didn’t want to talk anymore. She’d said more than she should have, but she couldn’t help trying to get her point across in another way. She wanted to love this man, just love him, with her hands and mouth and lips and sighs, just for tonight. He was usually the leader in the bedroom but she wanted to slow it down, drag it out. She wanted to express everything she couldn’t say, didn’t want to think, what she still couldn’t understand, in her touch, her kisses.
She wanted to love him. She knew, she just knew, that this was what he needed.
Tonight she wanted to give.
Chapter Thirteen
SawyersFutureWife:Bereft. He’s gone again.
WaynesBikes:Pass me the sick bag. At least with those three out of town, it gives us mere mortals a fighting chance.
BoredWife:Hate to break it to ya, but you never had a chance.
Kai’s fingers traced patterns on Flick’s lower back, enjoying the way his fingers slid across her skin, the huffs of her breath against his neck, the way she curled around him, fast asleep. Sex earlier had been more than just sex, more than Part A slotting into Part B. He wanted to believe that it was just a mutual way for them to get their kicks but he couldn’t. It was...crap!Kai rubbed his free hand over his mouth and down his face.
It was as if they’d taken their earlier conversation into bed but words were replaced with actions. Lips sipped and approved, hands touched and worshipped. Compliments were exchanged, and reassurances were given. All done silently, but it had been so damn powerful.
He’d never known such unqualified approval, the dismissal of his past and complete acceptance of who he was today, right now, this minute. No one had ever pushed past his barriers to see who he was beneath his hard surface, and while a part of him liked the idea of someone seeing the person he was beneath the bullshit, another part of him loathed the idea. What was he supposed to do with Flick’s approval, with the emotion he saw blazing in her eyes? He didn’t know what to do with love, with a partner, with someone who wanted to know him inside and out. There were too many dark places inside of him that he preferred to keep hidden away, parts of him he wanted to keep in the shadows...would she want to shine a spotlight into those hard-to-see corners? Would she demand to know? Would he ever be brave enough to let her?
And on that point, would he ever be brave enough to love her, and to give her what she needed, what she deserved? If he decided to continue to see Flick, and explore the emotion between them, then what would he have to give up? How much of himself would he have to compromise? Would she be happy with a part-time, long-distance relationship? He spent most of his time on the road, away from Mercy—would she be able to cope with that?
Would she expect a ring, a commitment, a promise? Would she demand the words he dreaded saying, the words that every woman wanted? The words that he loathed, that he couldn’t force up his throat? They were the last words he’d heard from his mother as she took that bag of heroin he’d bought a half hour earlier.
“I love you.”