Her lips curl and her eyes flash with excitement. “I passed.”
“I knew you could do it.” I hold my hand up for her to give me a high-five. “That’s amazing. You should be proud of yourself.”
She nods, but the fire in her eyes has dimmed. “Why’d you go out? Why didn’t you invite me to go with you?”
Her vulnerability sparks my own. “Hang on,” I set down my bag, and pretend like I’m pulling on boxing gloves.
Hadley furrows her brow. “What are you doing?”
“Preparing for our fight.”
Her eyes grow bright with a spark of humor as she shakes her head. “Maybe you should tattoo them on, so you don’t forget them next time.”
“Maybe.”
She grins a playful smile, and for a minute I don’t want to have this discussion. I want to sweep this mess under the rug and flirt and banter with her. I want to kiss her and make love to her and avoid all the shit that life sometimes offers and hold onto the good with her. But then I recall her words, demanding the bad and the good, and I know I want to be there for her bad days and sad days and best days, and the fact she wants to be there for mine has me swallowing every last bit of my pride.
“Football was supposed to be my ticket to getting into a good college, and that was it. I never thought there would be more—I wanted to believe it, but I never allowed myself to.”
Hadley’s brow furrows with silent questions as her humor disappears. “What do you mean?”
“My dad was one hell of a baseball player. He turned down college because he was drafted by a major league right out of high school and went to play for their farm team, working his way up. He played for seven years and never made it to the major leagues. From the time I was a kid, he’s been telling me to focus on college, get a good degree, and focus on my career because athletes are a dime a dozen.”
Her frown is sorrowful. “You’re not a dime a dozen.”
“Last Friday, one of my coaches asked if I’d considered entering the draft. I don’t know how to explain it, but it made everything seem so damn real. I went home thinking about what would happen if I were to be drafted. I wouldn’t be able to finish college. I’d leave my friends. I might never get to play. And I’d leave you.” Leaving her was the part that had me spiraling. “Then I realized you already know what you want and where you want to go and even if I do stay and manage to be drafted next year, it still wouldn’t work. You’d still be going to Vegas, and I’d still be at the will of whatever team will take me.”
“Chooses you,” she says.
“That was why I was a bastard on Friday night, but then Saturday, I let myself believe there was a chance that I could go pro. And that if there was a chance that could happen, there sure as hell was a chance that we could make it work. I could fly you to wherever I was on the weekends, and jet set to Vegas every time I had a day off. I actually believed it, and then Peters benched my ass, and it was as though a black hole sucked every bit of sense and hope from me. By the end of the game, I didn’t feel like I was good enough to even be on the team much less go pro, and all I could think was how you were going to leave, and I spiraled. I know I fucked up and I know this doesn’t excuse what I did. If I could rewind the clock and go back to Saturday night, I would, and I’d tell Lenny no and go home to you and sleep off my shitty mood and figure shit out, but unfortunately, I can’t.”
Hadley shakes her head. “Even Katie thinks you’re going to be drafted. How do you not see how good you are?”
My surprise must show in my eyes because Hadley grins.
“Someone kind of wise once told me I had to stop underestimating myself.” She takes a step closer to me. “Maybe you have to stop underestimating yourself and what we can do together.” She slides her hands around the back of my neck, and I set mine on either of her hips. Touching her feels so damn good my entire body seems to sigh. “I believe in you, Nolan, and I believe in us because you make me feel alive, and safe, and seen in a way that makes me want to hold on to what we have with both hands and never let go.” She tightens her grip.
My heart pounds in my chest as I encircle her waist, pulling her closer. “I don’t want you to ever let go because I’m so damn in love with you, Cutlass.”
Her smile turns radiant. “See? Fighting can be good.”
I tighten my grip as I shake my head and chuckle. I can wait until she’s ready to say the words. I already know she feels them, too. I see them in her gaze when she smiles at me, know it because of the way she trusts me, supports me, cares for me.
Her smile slowly fades, and she stares at me. “I love you, too, Nolan.”
Hearing her say it has me sealing my lips over hers, kissing her like it’s the first time, with my eyes wide open. Hers are open, too. Only this time, she closes her eyes first and leans into me, trusting me with her whole damn heart. I close my eyes and brush my tongue along her lips, and moan as she parts them. We kiss like we’re starved, and then lazily, neither of us wants to part.
I lean my head against her forehead, breathing her in as my heart continues to beat the rhythm that only she can set because she possesses my heart and every other part of me. And I know without a doubt, she always will.
Chapter37
Hadley
Iglance at the Christmas tree aglow in the living room, savoring the final pages of the book chosen for book club. I hate when a good book ends. Stepping out of that world and away from the friends I make in it reminds me of what it felt like when moving from Vegas to Oleander Springs.
The front door twists open, and my heart stutters and then leaps as Nolan steps inside. His perfect hair is nearly dry from his drive home. His gaze turns from the kitchen where I baked two new flavors of cookies, to the ornaments Hannah and I hung in front of the windows, to where I am on the couch. “It smells so good in here. What kind of cookies did you make?” He sets his bag down before toeing off his shoes. This past weekend, Camden won their game in a blowout. Everyone seemed to note the change in the team and its dynamics. There was a renewed sense of energy and confidence that made the guys unstoppable. They’ve been putting in extra practices, extra meetings, and extra workouts to prepare for the last game this weekend. It has Nolan appearing both determined and a little fatigued.
“Almond raspberry thumbprints, and hot cocoa cookies.”