“What do you remember about last night?”
“Most of it… I think.” I try to hold back a cringe, but it comes anyway. “Some of my memories feel a little distorted like maybe I’m remembering things I wanted to do but didn’t.”
“Do you remember who gave you the edible? The pumpkin cookie.”
“Can you make me a promise?”
Nolan shakes his head. “Probably not.”
Like most things with Nolan, his response catches me by surprise, and I chuckle. “What kind of answer is that?”
“An honest one,” he says.
“What if I told you that I already took care of it?”
“Is that where you went?”
I nod, slowly.
Anger churns in his eyes. “Who was it? What happened?”
“We’re going to talk about it. I promise, I’ll answer any questions you have, and you can fill in the strange, muddled memories I have because most involve you … but let’s do it tonight or tomorrow when you’re not distracted and running from real-life wrecking balls that are trying to flatten you.”
He scoffs. “Let them try.”
“Let’s not.”
“Cutlass—”
“I know. I’d feel the same way. Idofeel the same way, knowing Hannah was involved. I get it. But we’re okay, thanks to you and your friends, we’re fine. And later, I’ll tell you everything, I swear. Just not right now because if you got hurt from this taking up your headspace, I would hate myself.”
Nolan breathes in deeply and then releases the breath slowly, and I contemplate if not telling him now is the right decision or if it will cause an even greater distraction.
“I’m fine,” I tell him again. “I swear.”
He stares at me for another beat, indecision clear in his gaze. Standing in front of a crowd terrifies me, rattles me to the point it’s hard to construct a full sentence, but there’s something about Nolan and his presence that makes me feel bold and brave that has me forgetting to fear the fall.
“Did I kiss you last night?” My question fractures his anger and hesitation.
He shakes his head.
“Did Itryto kiss you?” The memory is foggy, similar to the one I’d shared with Katie about swimming. I’m not sure if I actually kissed him or if I’d wanted to and my imagination has created a memory that feels real.
“You asked me if you were a bad kisser.”
The memory seems to solidify in my thoughts. “That’s right, and then you suggested we should skinny dip and I told you that wouldn’t be safe in my current condition.”
Humor sparks in his gaze.
“Then you asked if you could sleep in my bed every night because it doesn’t feel like a meat freezer like the basement does, and I told you that that might be too tempting for you and our current arrangement because I sometimes sleep in nothing but my underwear…”
Nolan takes a step closer to me, and my heart beats chaotically in my chest. “Cutlass, you should know, there’s no distracting me when I set my mind to something. You can be cute, but you’re going to tell me everything tonight.” His eyes drop to my lips. “And we both know you’re lying. You sleep in sweats with socks on, regardless of how warm it is outside.”
“That’s only so I don’t tempt you to cross that friendship line we’ve so carefully drawn.”
“What line?”
My heart spins and then eddies. “I may not be able to go to your game tonight,” I tell him. “I need to see how Hannah’s feeling.”