“I use one anchovy in the sauce. I know lots of people don’t like the taste of them, but it adds depth.”
She was a tornado, but I understood where Killian got that calm nature because, despite the fact that she hadn’t stopped talking, it was comforting being in her presence. The nerves I felt at meeting Killian’s parents were gone. It was like I was hanging with an old friend and not the mother of the man who I’d been having sex thoughts about when they arrived.
“Two bay leaves, but we won’t leave them in for long. We don’t need the paste because the San Marzanos cooked down so well.”
She added garlic to the pan with the ribs, added another healthy pour of olive oil. Onions followed, carrots and all were from her garden. She added the wine, reduced it, then the tomatoes and bay leaves. “We’re going to let this simmer for a little,” she said, putting the lid on, lowering the heat before she turned to me. “I’d love to see what they’re doing outside.”
“Absolutely.” I took my glass, but not before she topped me off.
I took her around, shared the vision. We finished at the porch. It wasn’t discussed, but we both put our wine glasses down and started working on the planter boxes. We worked in comfortable silence. And as we worked, emotion stirred, and then overwhelmed me. I didn’t want to put a name to the warmth that moved through me for Killian, it was too soon, but as I stood there with his mother, I knew he was sharing his parents with me because he knew I was missing my own. He’d given me a memory like the ones he had on his walls. No fanfare, no recognition, just doing what he did, seeing what I needed and giving it to me. I had wondered how it would feel to be his, and knew after this glimpse, I wanted to be his. Only his.
I hadn’t realized I was crying until Maureen’s soft voice said, “Would you like to talk about it?”
I looked over at her with tears rolling down my face. “I used to garden with my mom. And bake, I did more eating than baking, but we could spend hours talking. I lost her and my dad at eighteen. I shut it out for so long. I guess I thought if I didn’t think about it, it wouldn’t hurt.” I wiped at my face. “It wasn’t just them. I lost my boyfriend too. He left. He had to, but in one moment, I lost the three most important people in my life. I moved here because I wanted to start over. Took me a while to realize I needed to start over, but I didn’t realize until now how closed off I’d let myself become. He knew.” I wiped at my face again and smiled. “Killian knew, and in that quiet way of his, he’s bringing me back to life.”
She was crying now. “You understand my son.”
“There’s a lot under the surface, but yeah, I understand him.”
Silence settled between us for a few minutes before she tucked one of my curls behind my ear. “Maybe we could add a vegetable garden here.”
Fresh tears fell. “I’d really like that.”
“You sound tired.”It was late; Maureen and Jared had left hours ago, the crew, too, after filling up on the best spaghetti and meatballs. Maureen left me a hand written copy of the recipe. I was going to start a book.
“I’m still at the station.”
“Can you talk about it?”
“Soon. Heard you met my parents.”
Max was sprawled out on the floor; Lucifer was curled in the one chair. Cooper was on the sofa with me, resting his head on my lap. I scratched behind his ears, took a picture and sent it to Killian.
“Lucky fucking dog.”
“You knew your parents would visit.”
“Yeah.”
The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t say them. Instead, I said, “Thank you for sharing them with me.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Maureen is going to help me plant my vegetable garden.”
“I heard. It’s a good idea.”
“I think so, too.” I wanted to see him. “Can you come over?”
“Fuck, I want to, but I got someone coming in soon.”
I glanced at the clock. It was almost midnight. I didn’t question him, he knew what he was doing, so instead, I said, “I don’t need to tell you, but I will anyway. Please be safe.”
“Always.” His voice dropped. “What are you wearing?” he asked and then cursed under his breath. “Goddamn timing.”
I laughed. “Whoever you’re waiting on just showed up, didn’t they?”
“Yeah. For fuck’s sake.”