Uncomfortable, I shift in my seat, tearing my gaze from his, focusing on my brother and his almost-wife. The minister speaks in monotone about lasting love and promises made. Promises kept. I think of all the promises I made to Spence when we were younger. When I was foolish and believed he was the only one for me.
Back then, I believed it because I truly thought I would die before I turned eighteen. I glamorized the notion so much to ease my fear, and it was easier owning the realization that I was dying versus pretending nothing was wrong with me. Deep down, I was terrified of the thought of not living.
And here I am, barely surviving now.
Oh, I know what everyone thinks. Poor little rich girl, wah wah wah. I’m pathetic. I have all the money in the world, what do I have to complain about?
Many, many things. Money can’t buy happiness. I’m lonely. I only have a few friends, and I’ve shut out most of my family. I’m scared to be honest with Summer because I’m afraid of her rejection. My brother tolerates me. Carolina doesn’t speak to anyone unless she’s forced to. My father is completely wrapped up in his latest girlfriend and my mother…
Cannot be trusted.
Like I can’t help myself, my thoughts return to Spencer, my gaze lingering on his tall, broad form, handsome in his tuxedo. His expression solemn as he listens to the ceremony, his hands clasped behind his back, his legs slightly spread. A perfect specimen of masculine beauty.
I will him to look in my direction, to see that I’m watching him. I don’t even care how hungry I may look, because I’m starved. Starved for this man’s attention, his touch, his mouth.
But he doesn’t look my way. Not once.
The ceremony goes on, with Whit and Summer sharing their own personal vows, making passionate declarations that leave the crowd swooning. I lean against Cliff, the heat from the afternoon sun getting to me. I didn’t eat much today either, which doesn’t help my situation, and I would give anything for a drink.
I should’ve shoved that giant bottle of clit vodka in a bag and brought it with me.
“Are you all right?” Cliff murmurs close to my ear.
My gaze remaining on Spence’s back, I say, “No. I’m bored and I’m hungry.”
Cliff chuckles. “It’s almost over. Then you can introduce me to Monty.”
“I will,” I reassure him.
At least that’s a promise I can keep.
“…you may now kiss the bride.”
I nearly collapse with relief when the minister makes that declaration and a few people start to shout when Whit kisses Summer with a ferocity that borders on indecent. I even hear my mother murmur, “Oh dear…” but I ignore her.
Everyone does.
Once Whit and Summer have walked down the aisle, everyone rises, including myself. My gaze never leaves Spencer’s back as I start to approach him, stopping short when I see him offer his arm to my sister. Carolina rises to her feet in one fluid motion, curling her arm around Spence’s before they turn onto the aisle and head for the house.
I watch them go, trying to ignore the nagging feeling in my gut when I see them together, their heads bent close as Carolina laughs at something Spence says. The way he smiles down at her, his eyes twinkling.
My stomach twists and I swallow hard, fighting the bile that threatens to rise up in my throat.
“Are those two together?” Cliff asks, meaning Spence and Carolina.
“If they are,” I say as I watch the man who took my virginity escort my little sister into our family home, my voice deadly calm. “I will kill him.”
FIVE
SPENCER
“Spencer Donato,tell me the truth. Are you trying to make my sister jealous?”
I do a double take, Carolina Lancaster smiling at me, appearing infinitely amused. Although she’s the youngest of the Lancaster siblings, she’s also the most composed.
And the hardest to read.
“What do you mean?” I ask carefully.