“That’s whatyouwanted for me. You never gave me the choice to decide on my own. You guided my every move, practically my entire life.” I clutch the phone tighter in my hand, glancing down when it buzzes. I can tell it’s a text, but I can’t see who it’s from.
“Because you couldn’t make a decision on your own. When you’re left to your own devices, you make endless mistakes.”
“Right, so it’s better I let you make all of my life choices.”
Her smile freezes in place. “Yes. Exactly.”
“So you can decide whether I live or die.”
That smile fades, her eyes going wide. “What in the world are you talking about?”
“You know what I’m talking about. You just refuse to see it. Acknowledge it.” I glance to my right, my bedroom door so close. “You’ve been trying to kill me for years. You almost did. That’s why I can’t be near you any longer, Mother. Can’t you see?”
“Well, can’t you see how much I love and adore you?” She rushes toward me, until she’s standing directly in front of me. Staring at her face is almost like looking in a mirror, her features are so close to mine. Only our eye color is different. Her face shape, her cheekbones, her chin. Her lips, the slope of her nose.
It’s all me. I know I resembled her, but I never thought it was this close.
“Amazing, isn’t it? How much I resemble you?” Her eyes are sparkling, her smile wide. She’s still so attuned to me, it’s freaky. “I brought photos of you with me to my consultation. I told him this is who I want to look like.”
My vision gets blurry, and my head starts to spin. What she’s saying is so…weird. Distressing.
Not normal.
I think I’m going to faint.
“What?” I ask, my voice weak. I sidestep toward my bedroom, not bothering to hide that I’m trying to get away from her, but she moves with me. Like she’s never going to let me escape.
“You heard me. I wanted to look like you. I want people to see us and think we’re sisters. We have such a bond, you know. We’re connected. I know what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling, what you want to do next. You’re my mini me. My special girl. I named you after me. You’re mine. And look, now we resemble each other even more. We could totally pass for sisters now.”
“I’m not your sister. You’re my mother.”
“Oh, I know. We just…it’s easier to say we’re sisters now, don’t you think? When you were younger, you were so needy. I might’ve done some things to you to keep you quiet. What’s the big deal? Lots of moms do it.”
I blink at her, shocked by her confession.
“I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, my darling, but that’s all in the past. I can’t help it if being so worried about you brought me so much attention. Your father was too busy fucking other women to notice me anymore. I had to do something.”
Leave it to her to blame my father for this. She still can’t take responsibility.
“What you did was wrong, and you know it.” I slip my hand behind me when I’m at my bedroom door, reaching for the handle when she lunges toward me, her hand settling over mine.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
I say nothing, a trembling breath escaping me when she tightens her grip on my hand. She’s standing so close to me, her body brushes against mine, making me want to recoil from her. I lean my head back until it thumps against the door, desperate to get away.
“You can’t escape me, Sylvie. No matter how hard you try, I will always find you. I will always be there for you. No matter what.” She reaches out with her other hand, gently touching my cheek, and I flinch. Her hand drops away, a frown on her face. “I only want to take care of you. We need each other. Can’t you see?”
My breaths come faster, to the point I feel like I’m going to start hyperventilating, and I close my eyes, mentally telling myself to calm down. “Please back up,” I tell her when my eyes pop back open. “I can’t breathe.”
“Oh, darling. Are you having an asthma attack? Come with me.” She takes my hand, leading me away from my bedroom door and down the hall. “And give me your phone.”
“No.” I shove the phone in my shorts pocket before she can grab it. “Let go of me.”
I try to pull away, but her grip is like a lock, clamped tightly around my wrist.
“I’m doing this to help you. I have an inhaler in my room. One of your old ones.” She keeps walking, never looking back as she drags me behind her. “I’ll take care of you, darling. Take deep, calming breaths if you can.”
Her words are causing my breaths to come faster, my throat growing tight, as is my chest. I blink hard, my vision going blurry, and I know, without a doubt, I’m having a panic attack.