I’m sure she knows where I’ve been, and who I’ve been with. She’s tolerated my dalliances, as she calls them, with Spencer for years and mostly looked the other way.
But no more. Now she has a responsibility. To deliver to Earl Wainwright the perfect, little virgin bride.
An evil smile curls my lips.
Whoops.
Looks like I ruined that part of her plan.
TWO
SYLVIE
Present day
I didn’t meanto get drunk before my brother’s wedding. Not really.
But when my new best friend Clifford Von Worth showed up at my Park Avenue apartment with a very large bottle of Clix vodka clutched in his hand, I knew immediately I was in trouble. Cliff held up the bottle as he entered the apartment, and I squinted at the label, my lips forming a shocked little O.
“Does that sayclitvodka?” I ask.
Cliff chuckles, shutting the door behind him. “Please, Sylvie. As if I would purchaseclitvodka. I don’t even know what to do with one.”
Cliff lives in the same building I moved into with my husband after we were first married. We became immediate best friends, especially with Earl always away, traveling for business. Oh, my husband wanted me to accompany him so he could show off his perfect little wife who’s barely in her twenties. Arm candy personified, right? But I feigned illness—so easy, a role I was used to since I’ve been truly sick for years—and he allowed me to stay home.
With my sweet friend Cliff.
“Tell me the truth, Cliffy. You’ve never touched a woman’s clit? Ever?” I ask as he follows me over to the bar that sits in the corner of the massive living room.
“I’ve never touched any woman in a sexual manner.” I turn to face him once I’m behind the bar, just in time to see him mock shiver at the mere idea.
“You act as if it would be the most disgusting thing ever.” I grab a couple of shot glasses while Cliff opens the bottle, then pours a drink for each of us.
“It would be. Vaginas are so messy.” He holds up his shot glass, clinking it against mine before we both tip our heads back and finish it in one swallow. “Women aren’t my thing. You know this.”
“Penises are messy too. They drip everywhere. Shoot off at the most unexpected times.” I lick the vodka from my lips and pour myself another glass. This is why I like spending so much time with Cliff. He’s safe. He has zero expectations beyond friendship, and he doesn’t want to be with a woman, so no sexual advances occur. Plus, we’re never in competition with each other for anything. “I just figured you might’ve…I don’t know…fingered a girl in high school during a heavy make-out session?”
The grimace on his face is almost comical. “Disgusting. I would never.”
Laughing, I pour another shot for myself, ignoring the concerned look on Cliff’s face when I tip my head back, the liquor smooth going down. “You know, you would really love my friend Monty.”
“Monty who?” Cliff sets his glass down with a loud thunk, his eyes going wide. “Wait. Are you referring to Montgomery Michaels?”
Nodding, I take his glass and fill it yet again. “He’s a dear family friend. And he’ll be at the wedding.”
“Oh my God, are you serious? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? Oh, he’s stunning.” Cliff shakes his head when I offer him his full shot glass. “I can’t get drunk now. I need to keep my wits about me when I meet Monty for the first time.”
I polish off his shot instead, smacking my lips together. “I’ll introduce you to him.”
“You’d better.” He snatches the glass from my fingers. “Sylvie. Dearest. Please don’t drink too much. You don’t want to make a fool of yourself at your brother’s wedding now, do you?”
“I don’t really care. Everyone will expect me to act the fool anyway.” I grab my own glass and refill it, drinking it before he can stop me. “Besides, will anyone be paying attention to me? Doubtful. After all, it is Whit and Summer’s day. Everyone will be staring at the two of them. They’re so beautiful together.”
I stop talking, hating how I sound like a jealous shrew, which I suppose I am. And I have reason to be too.
Why does Whit get to marry the love of his life, while I had to marry the old man? I didn’t even get to have a big wedding—Earl and I went to the courthouse and got married. A quick marriage ceremony for a bogus couple, I suppose.
Not that I wanted to have a big wedding with Earl. Talk about a wasted opportunity.