“Oh. Fine, I guess. Kelli’s been coming out and working with her every day. If the round pen isn’t frozen, Kelli’s riding. She’s pretty determined to make it work, you know?”
“Yeah. Well, that’s good.” Suddenly, he reached for his pocket, as if he was looking for something, but didn’t find it. His hand dropped, and he sighed.
I shook my head. Talking to Dusty was usually a little awkward. I couldn’t decide if he was just shy or if he didn’t like me and was forcing himself to be polite. Whatever it was, he wasn’t very good at it. “Well, I won’t keep you. We’re looking for a new collar, aren’t we, Dakota?”
Dusty stepped back. “Okay. Have a nice day.”
“See you.”
As I walked away, I kept pondering the mystery of Dusty Walker. How was it I’d never really spent any time with him? He seemed like a sweet guy, and everyone in town said he was probably the most likable of all the Walker brothers. He was usually the first one to figure out when someone needed help, and people respected him.
Dustywasreally nice, but for me, he was almost painful to talk to. What was it about him? He seemed comfortable enough talking to my dog, but he shut down the minute he had to look at me.
I didn’t know what to make of it, except it didn’t feel good. According to Kelli, people either found me intimidating or boring. I’d never thought I was either one, but when I reflected on the last two years, with all the failed friendships and relationships that never got off the ground, it was starting to make sense. I was the ice queen, and I never even knew it.
What could I do about that? Was I supposed to change who I was? Even if I could, I wouldn’t even know how. Should I find some clothes that didn’t fit as well? Cut my hair and dye it brown instead of blonde? What would that prove? I twisted my hands on the steering wheel as I drove home, trying to wring the answer from the road.
I wished I could ask my mom. She’d know what to tell me. And even if she didn’t, she’d at least bake me some cookies and promise it would all work out okay. That at least one person in this world understood and accepted me just as I was.
I pulled into the driveway and yanked the gearshift into park. And for the first time in at least six months, I just bowed my head over my steering wheel and cried for my mom.
Dusty
I blew it.
More than blew it. Jess probably thought I was some kind of a goofball. I had a perfect opportunity to talk to her, and what did I do? I petted her dog!
He was a really nice dog, though.
I closed my eyes and pounded my forehead on the truck’s steering wheel. Idiot, idiot, idiot! Now that she wasn’t there, all the things I wanted to say came rushing to my head. I’d ask her about her dad and how the shop was doing. I’d ask her how she liked being back in town and if she’d been up to Morgan and Cody’s new place yet. I’d even ask her what kinds of books she’d been reading lately and… well, if she hadn’t mentioned Luke, I’d have gone out on a limb and just asked if she wanted to have dinner sometime. It wasn’t a crime to ask, was it? Maybe she wasn’t serious about him.
Other guys would have managed it. Heck, even Luke could get the words out, and Luke had almost flunked out of school. Words weren’t his strong point. Why was it so easy for everyone else to just say what they wanted to say? “Hello, Jess, nice to see you. Oh, what a nice dog. By the way, are you busy Friday?” How hard was that?
Too much for me, obviously, especially after she mentioned my brother. I’d just stood there, gasping like a kid called to the blackboard after he didn’t do his homework. I was almost twenty-five years old, and I couldn’t talk to the woman I’d adored since middle school. What was wrong with me?
What I would have given to know what she really thought of Luke! She couldn’t be serious about him, could she? If I’d had even the faintest clue about that, I’d have given her the note I had folded in my wallet. Or maybe I didn’t need to give her the paper, if I could just repeat the words I’d written. But I couldn’t manage to choke them out. Not when I didn’t know what I needed to know.
Somehow, I had to find a way to learn the truth. I couldn’t ask her because that would be meddling. And Luke wouldn’t tell—talking details about girls we were dating was against the family code. And anyway, Luke was thick enough that he might not even know Jess’s feelings. Could I somehow find a way to be around Jess enough to learn the truth without actually asking?
I could get lucky and run into her again this week. But I should find a way to go to her. What if I tagged along with Marshall sometime when he went to see Kelli and her horse? Except, last I heard, that horse was a sore spot between them. I didn’t need to be in the middle of that kind of drama. Should I drop by her work? That would be weird.
Weird or not, it might be the only chance I’d have for a while.
Chapter 7
Jess
Ifinallyhadsomework.
One of Dad’s customers had smashed his car into a tree in the last snowstorm. He was fine, but his car was a total loss. Instead of using the insurance money to buy a new car, he decided to fix his old truck, including a complete engine tune-up. Replacing seals, checking valves, cleaning the heads, all of it. And once I was done with his truck, he said he’d bring in his wife’s Excursion for new plugs and an oil change.
That was gravy work, and I was glad to have it. Dad paid me by the hour when I filled in with office jobs, but it wasn’t as good as working on engines. I’d had no savings left when I came back a year and a half ago, and I was trying to turn that around.
Besides, I genuinely loved the challenge of picking things apart and trying to find out what was wrong. It was like a puzzle, and for some reason nobody could explain, I was good at it. There were few things more satisfying than turning the key and listening to an engine purr after I’d tweaked and fiddled and made everything new again.
This would be a particularly gratifying job because I was working on one of my favorite older engines—one of the kinds that kept on chugging long after the vehicle had started to fall apart around it. I rolled the truck up on the hoist and pulled the switch to lift it so that I could get to the underside. I tugged on some gloves and was just pulling the drain plug on the oil pan when I heard Tucker’s voice calling me from the front shop.
“Jess? Hey, Jess, you have a visitor!”