“What the hell was that about?” Nathan mused.
“No idea.” He swirled the last of the vodka in his glass. “All I know is that they just lost their most valuable team member.”
“I’m going to level with you.” Nathan pushed aside his beer and the lines on his forehead gathered to create thin folds of skin. “I’ve got your back in any and all situations, but this? I don’t condone whatever’s going down between you and Kenna—but I’m not going to be the whistleblower who brings it to Raza. I’m a better friend than that. Now, on the other hand, if someone else were to stumble across your dirty little secret, they might not be as kind. Your recklessness will bite you one day.”
Dayton tipped his head back, inhaling the rest of his drink that, regrettably, diluted the taste of Kenna’s skin.
He should have been grateful to have someone like Nathan. Someone who was concerned with the choices he made. Effects and consequences.
God knows he wasn’t.
25
CONFESSIONAL
While Kenna had hoped to never see Reid again, she would have preferred to see him alive.
An ivy-lined oval framed his smiling face on the funeral program that rested before her. The dates he entered and exited the world were marked beneath the photograph. A bleak timeline for a life that had hardly begun.
They had been the same age yet he was six feet under and she was full of life, breathing in another day.
How was it fair?
A hazelnut latte sat on the table, untouched. The nutty aroma wafting out of the lid’s cutout turned her stomach. Dr. Merino sat across from her in the generic hipster coffee shop. He’d dropped everything to be there for her and Kenna had not given him any details beyond revealing that Reid had been her ex-boyfriend, which was a warped version of the truth. The minimal information had been sufficient enough for him to clear the day’s appointments and drive them up to Portland for the funeral.
She longed to get home and be rid of her stuffy Peter Pan collared dress and itchy black pantyhose. Her Mary Janes pinched her feet. Every light and sound in the bustling shop furthered the discomfort. Guilt feasted on her.
She had never forgiven Reid.
“I realize this is horribly inappropriate to comment on in light of the day’s events, and well, period, but you look beautiful,” he said.
This was new, making a pass at her sober and in the daylight. Kenna did not play into his comment. She’d let herself be condemned to Hell before allowing Dr. Merino to take advantage of her while in a state of mourning.
“How can you stand to drink decaf? I’d go insane.”
“I can’t have caffeine.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t even think. That was incredibly insensitive.”
Shame flayed the tips of her ears. His health did not come up in their day-to-day conversations, but it was too significant a detail to forget even under the grim circumstances.
“That’s alright.” Dr. Merino sipped his Americano. “Were you and Reid together very long?”
The question was soothing. His tone, gentle.
“We weren’t actually together. Not in a relationship, I mean.”
One half of his mouth pulled into a weak smile. “Are you familiar with the term emotional contagion?”
Kenna shook her head.
“The hurt you’re feeling right now? It’s so powerful, I feel it as if it’s my own. In my experience, any emotion that’s strong enough to radiate and be felt by another means the person who’s the source of it experiences it tenfold. There’s a great deal of pain here, between yourself and this guy, isn’t there?”
“You’re not shrinking me. Not today.”
His neck stiffened. “Kenna, please. That’s not at all what I’m trying to do. This is a conversation between myself and someone I care for.”
She played with the cardboard sleeve on the coffee cup and tried to talk herself out of the impending conversation, but her muscles tensed with understanding as she looked across the table and glimpsed into Dr. Merino’s eyes.