I gesture at her to go ahead. I knew she wouldn’t be able to hold back completely.
“Serena filled me in on what happened last night. And I don’t buy it, not for a second. Hunter is into you, so completely. Something spooked him. I’m not saying he wasn’t a total dumbass, but that man is a goner for you.”
“I know.”
Lily’s head rears back at my simple answer. “What do you know?”
“It’s not my place to say. But I know he cares for me, just like I know there was more going on last night than I can tell you right now. And hopefully, he and I can talk about it soon. But even if for some awful reason we can’t move on from what happened last night, I don’t regret asking him to the gala, or going out on a date with him. I don’t regret having sex with him or falling in love with him.”
I can feel the smile on my face as I finally say those words out loud. I wish I was saying them to Hunter, but telling Lily will have to do. She reaches over and grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly.
“Hunter Callaghan is a one in a million kind of guy. He makes me a better person, makes me stronger, and teaches me it’s okay to be vulnerable. And no matter what, I’ll always love him for that.”
“Oh, Kat,” Lily whispers.
I stand up, stretching my arms over my head. I feel weirdly energized having bared my heart to someone. Maybe not the right someone, but it feels good to put my feelings out in the universe. Today isn’t exactly turning out the way I thought it would, but that doesn’t mean I can’t let some holiday happiness infuse it.
“Hey Lily, wanna decorate my house with me?”
Chapter 12
Hunter
Listen, I’m a big dude. I’m strong, as a cop I know more than just the basics of de-escalation tactics and self-defense, and I’ve fired a gun.
None of that in any way prepared me for this.
Sitting in a conference room at the police station, staring across a table at three of the four Donnelly brothers and Leo. I wonder if this is what perps feel when we interrogate them.
It fucking sucks.
The level of intensity in the glares being shot at me varies from curious to downright deadly.
But no matter how intimidated I am, I know I have to do this before I have any chance in hell of going after Kat. It’s been three days since the night of the fundraiser, and it’s been a constant battle not to run to her house and beg her to forgive me. But my daily sessions with Audrey have helped me realize I need to do this right. Which means also making it right with her family.
“Thanks for coming in today,” I start, my voice wavering. I clear my throat and try again. If I’m going to show any vulnerability, it’ll be by my own decision, not something stupid like my voice cracking. “I know I’ve got some explaining to do. But with respect, there’s a lot of stuff I’m not gonna tell you because it’s between me and your sister.”
Max’s eyebrows raise, Sawyer snorts, but Beckett and Leo just sit there. Cool, two out of four might not want to kill me outright.
“I have feelings for your sister. I have for a long fucking time. When she asked me to go to the gala with her, it gave me the courage to finally ask her out on a date. So no, I wasn’t there as her friend. I was there as something more.”
Wow. I got that out a lot calmer than I expected.
“Then why the fuck did you lie to our faces and break our sister’s heart?” Sawyer barks out. Beckett, his twin, puts a hand on his arm but he shrugs it off. “This is exactly why we’ve always protected her. Because weknewsome dumb fuck would come along and hurt her.”
“Sawyer, shut up,” Leo booms. “You’re not here to be a jackass to Hunter, you’re here to listen to him. And if you can’t do that, I will kick you out of my station.”
Sawyer glowers at his cousin, but he does at least sink back in his chair. Leo faces me. “Go on, Callaghan.”
This is it. This is when I have to come clean with them. It’s a long shot no matter what, but if I don’t, there isn’t a chance in hell they’ll understand.
“I have anxiety. Bad anxiety. And a learning disability.” I start out quietly, my eyes glued to a spot on the table where someone let their coffee cup sit long enough it made a heat ring. “For most of my life, I’ve felt like I have to work extra hard to win people over because I’m not likable by myself. I have to be more. I believed I would never amount to anything and would never be worthy of loving someone.”
Someone sighs. I think it’s Beckett, but maybe it’s Leo. He knew about my learning disability because he’s my boss, but I guess I kept the anxiety pretty well under wraps.
“When I first met your sister, I knew I didn’t have a chance of ever being good enough for her. But I couldn’t stay away.” I chance a look up at them, and the fact that even Sawyer is no longer looking like he wants to kill me is a shock. And motivation to continue. “She’s amazing. You all know that better than me. Yeah, she didn’t know about my anxiety in the beginning, but still, it was a big deal to me that she never treated me differently. She never made me feel stupid, or weak, or anything. Over time, she became so important to me, even if she had no clue. I hid my feelings for her, kept things friendly, but she would smile, talk to me, laugh with me, and just make me feel normal. When I finally got up the courage to take things further…”
I trail off. Because this is where it gets tricky.