“Why didn’t you tell us earlier?” Paige says, and I turn to her, guilt written all over my face. Out of anyone, she’s who I should have talked to sooner. She’s my best friend and a fellow business owner, not to mention one of the smartest people I know. If anyone could have helped, it’s Paige.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I was embarrassed? I didn’t want to admit to anyone, not even myself, that it was getting so bad.”
Showing a rare display of physical affection, Paige leans in and gives me a hug. “But we’re your friends, and we care about you. Supporting you, helping you stave off financial ruin, is our responsibility.”
“Well, when you put it that way,” I joke, tears clouding my eyes. “I’m sorry, guys. I just didn’t know what to say.”
“What you say is, ‘I’ll never keep something like this from you again,’” Mila says firmly. “And you say, ‘I know I’m not alone, my friends are the best women on this planet, I will trust them and be open to them from here on out.’ There’s no such thing as TMI within our group, whether it’s about sex, men, our bodies, or our jobs. We’re not just friends, we’re family. And family is there for each other. Got it?”
I stand up and yank her in for a hug. Other arms join in, and soon I’m surrounded by the women that give me strength, friendship, and love every single day.
“Thank you.”
Later, when I’m walking back to my apartment, I pull my phone out of my bag, only to see a text from my mom asking me to call her. I guess I never did get back to her after hanging up on her a couple of weeks ago. I’m feeling good after talking to my friends, so if there’s ever a time to hear what she has to say, I guess now is it.
Once I’m home, I change into my pajamas and crawl into bed before calling her.
“Hey Mom.”
“Hi, sweetie.” She sounds cautious, worried even.
“Sorry I haven’t called you back sooner, it’s been busy.”
“That’s fine. I understand. Can I…talk to you about your dad?”
Mentally, I try to prepare myself for whatever she’s going to say. “Yeah. I guess so.”
“Okay. Now, before I repeat what I told him I would say, I want you to promise to listen to me and not freak out.” She pauses, and I realize she’s waiting for me.
“Fine, I won’t freak out until I hear what you have to tell me. Is that good enough?”
“I could do without the snarky tone, but yes.” My eyes roll at her words.Too bad, Mom. You’re getting snark.
“He wants to talk to you.”
I snort, but before I can reply, Mom continues, “He actually said he wanted to see you in person, but I convinced him to start with a phone call. I know you haven’t heard much from him since he left, and I know I probably screwed up by never telling you what happened, but you’re an adult now. So I’m hoping you can understand when I say there was more to it than what we told you back then.”
“More? You told me nothing!” I shout, sitting up in bed. “Nothing, Mom. You told me you and Dad were getting a divorce and that you hoped with me going away to dance school it would make it easier for us all to adjust.Thatis all you told me.”
“It wasn’t my story to tell,” she says quietly and I pause. She sounds defeated.
“I need to know, at least something, if you want me to consider talking to him again.”
“Your dad… ” She stops, and I hear her take in a deep breath. “Your dad had a gambling problem. A bad one. And it eventually destroyed our marriage and our future. If he hadn’t left to go to rehab when he did, you wouldn’t have had any money left for dance school.”
I’m stunned. Of all the things, I never imagined this.
“But my dance money, that was in a trust.”
“It was, and your dad was searching for the paperwork to break the trust and take the money to pay off his debts when I caught him. You were out with Leo that night, but when you came home, you were so excited, talking about your future, that your dad finally realized he was ruining our lives. He chose to go, but I chose to end the marriage. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”
We both fall silent for a few minutes.
“Why does he want to see me now?” I whisper when I find the ability to speak.
Mom sighs. “That’s also technically his story to tell, honey. But I will say this. I only want what is best for you, and I truly think talking to your father is what’s best. He needs this, but more importantly, I thinkyouneed this to heal. I gave him your number, Serena. Please just…just talk to him if he calls.”
When we eventually hang up, I immediately head downstairs. An hour of freestyle dancing does little to clear the madness in my head; there’s simply too much going on in my life right now. Even the usual peace and serenity that dance brings me is eluding me.