I always knew I would be a cop when I grew up, but I never knew I would also be a single dad. The truth is, I was pretty set on not having kids at all. No way was I going to risk putting a child through what I went through, listening to their mother cry herself to sleep night after night. Losing my dad to a home invasion gone wrong was a nightmare. One from which we never got to wake up.
Vi may not have lost her mom to violence the way I lost my dad, but our lives are the same in that we both only have one parent trying to fill the role of two.
I can only hope I manage to be half as good at it as my mom was.
After leaving my meeting with Ethan, I find myself pushing a cart down the narrow aisles of the Stop N Shop, the one and only grocery store in Dogwood Cove. Vi’s a grumpy kid without her applesauce pouches, and I’m low on coffee. I grab the essentials and head to the front to check out, my mind already thinking ahead to dinner and getting Violet to bed. Then I need to continue searching for daycares or nannies, something so that Aunt Claire isn’t stuck on childcare duty forever. She raised five kids already, she doesn’t need to raise my kid as well.
But thinking about the long list of things I still need to figure out now that we’ve moved here is a bit distracting. So much so that I don’t even realize I’ve hit another cart until a melodic voice I never forgot the sound of says, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry!”
Memories flash through my mind, most of them happy, but enough of them laced with anger and sadness. That voice used to tell me she loved me and always would. That voice used to tell me I was the only one for her, the only person she ever wanted.
That voice also told me it was over.
I feel like I’m in a movie and there should be some uplifting music playing as the camera pans in. That’s how disconnected from reality I feel when my eyes lift and meet the hazel eyes that used to look at me with so much love and understanding in them. Only now, they’re filled with shock and uncertainty.
“Serena.” Her name comes out on a whisper. Of all the places I imagined running into her, a grocery store in a tiny town on Vancouver Island is not it.
“Hi, Leo,” she murmurs, her tongue darting out to lick her perfect heart-shaped lips. My eyes zero in on the motion. Call it habit, call it unavoidable, call it… I don’t give a fuck what. She’s just as beautiful now as she was when we were younger. Maybe even more so, as her body has filled out over the years, going from a lean teenage ballerina to a willowy, beautiful woman. Her hair is the same colour of golden sunshine, hanging loose and flowing down to her mid-back.
“Why are you here?” I ask, then shake my head at the dumb question. “I mean, it’s a store. You’re here to shop. Sorry. Why are you in Dogwood Cove?”
Serena looks down at her hands, twisting them around the handle of her cart. “Umm, I live here.”
The rock that wedged itself in my throat the second I saw her drops to my stomach. “You…here?” It seems I can’t stop myself from sounding like an idiot right now. I blame it on the shock of seeing her after almost twenty years.
“Yes,” she answers softly. This is not the fiery woman I remember. Even at eighteen, Serena was loud, confident, and bold. Not meek and nervous. What happened to her?
My hand darts out of its own accord and tips her chin up. That was a mistake. Because that first touch of her skin sends fiery bolts through my body, waking up parts of me that have been asleep since she left. Judging by the small gasp I hear from her, she feels it, too.
“Leo, I… ” she starts, then stops, stepping back. My hands drop to my sides, and I clench my fists with the effort to not touch her again, to prove to myself that she’s real. “Leo, I’m sorry. I can’t do this right now.”
It takes only seconds for my brain to catch up with her words, but it’s too late. By the time I register what she said, she’s gone, her cart abandoned in the aisle, and me along with it.
She left — again.
Only this time, I’m not letting her get away.
Memories of my relationship with Serena fill my brain the entire time I’m driving home from the store, all the way until I open the front door and hear my favourite sound.
“Daddy!”
I drop everything and open my arms wide as I crouch down with a smile. Violet comes toddling in from the kitchen as fast as her chubby little legs can carry her, and straight into my embrace. Scooping her up, I blow a raspberry on her belly, earning the giggle that she only gives to me.
“Hey baby girl, how are you?”
Violet babbles away as my gaze finds my aunt standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a smile on her face.
“Hi Aunt Claire, did today go okay?”
She pushes off of the wall and walks over, her hand cupping the back of Violet’s head lovingly. “Of course it did, honey. Vi’s a wonderful little girl. We played in the garden, went for a walk, and baked cookies.”
“Coo-tee?” Vi’s eyes go wide. “Coo-tee!”
“You, little miss, have already had three cookies.”
I look at my aunt gratefully. “Thank you so much for staying with her.”
“Of course, Leo. You’re family. We’re all so thrilled you and Violet are here now. Besides, it’s not like my own kids are going to give me grandchildren any time soon, so I’ll get practice being a grandma with Miss Vi.”