God, I wish I could see her face right now so I could try to gauge her reaction. Because I don’t have a clue what she’s thinking. I thought I had made it clear I wanted to start something with her, but I swear I hear a thread of hesitation in her voice.
I’m pointedly ignoring the voice in the back of my head that is responsible for my own hesitation when it comes to Serena Matheson.
“To start, yeah. You, me, maybe some wine since this time we’re actually legal drinking age.”
“Like that stopped us before,” she interrupts with a soft laugh.
“I know, I know. But this time I want to do it right, Tippy. I know I said I’d give you space to figure things out, but I also said I wanted a second chance for us. So, what do you say? Let me take you on a date.”
“Okay.”
Chapter eleven
Serena
As if I don’t have enough to stress about, having agreed to go on a date with Leo, I just got the utility bill for the studio, and it’s bad. “Why. Why. Why.” I thump my head on the barre in the studio over and over.
“Pretty sure the answer isn’t to hit your head repeatedly.”
I jerk up at Summer’s voice, my face flaming with embarrassment that she saw me losing my shit. “Sorry. You weren’t meant to see that.”
She walks into the studio and comes to a stop beside me, lifting her hand to my shoulder. “What’s going on? I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you like this.”
“Like what? Stressed out and going insane?” I try to laugh. “God. Just forget you saw anything. I’m a mess, but I’ll be fine. What are you doing here?”
“I’m just dropping off the new yoga mat spray I made. But you’re not getting out of this conversation, missy. What’s wrong?”
The need to unburden everything on someone burns in my belly. With a glance to the clock on the wall, I see I still have half an hour before my next round of students should be arriving.
“Got time for some tea upstairs?”
Summer nods, and we make our way up to my apartment. I busy myself with filling the kettle and pulling down mugs while she settles on my couch. I bring over the pot of steaming jasmine tea with two mugs and sit down beside her.
“Okay. Before I tell you, can you promise to keep this a secret for now?” I ask, my eyes trained on the mugs in front of me. “I’m not exactly proud of it.”
Summer’s hand comes to my knee. “Of course. But Serena, I hope you know how much everyone loves you. Whatever it is, I’m sure none of our friends would judge you.”
She’s right. I know she is.But they don’t know how terrified I am to fail again.
Because that’s what my life has felt like. A series of failures, breakdowns, and falling apart of all the things I desperately wanted in life. And this, the studio, is my chance to keep my dream of a life in dance alive. Dance has been my one constant companion. Even with my injury and not being able to dance professionally, I’ve always maintained my love of movement and my passion for the grace and beauty of ballet. And if I lose the studio, I lose my last connection to this world.
But what am I doing about it? Not enough, clearly. My head has been consumed with Leo and Violet, and I haven’t made any progress on figuring out my finances. Now I’m just a couple of large expenses away from having to close the studio.
“I’m broke. The studio is broke. I’m not making enough money to pay all my bills, and if I don’t figure out a way to increase revenue without jacking up my class prices, I’m screwed.”
“Oh, Serena,” Summer murmurs.
“It’s okay. I’ll be fine. I can always look for a roommate.” I try to make a joke, but it comes out sounding hollow.
“Have you thought of talking to Mila and Ethan? Maybe they can help somehow.”
It’s true, Ethan and Mila own a lot of properties in town and act as managers or landlords. But that still involves selling my studio to them and leasing the space. It still feels like a failure. “I thought about it, but… ” I trail off.
“But you want to do it yourself.” Summer hits it perfectly. “Serena, I know you pride yourself on your independence; it’s one of the things I’ve always admired about you. But there’s no shame in asking for help. Or at the very least, accepting it if it is offered.”
I wince. “I know. It’s just been hard for me to admit to myself how bad it’s getting, let alone to anyone else.”
“Why do you think it’s happening?” she asks gently. “All of your students love you.”