It seemed like the least I could do after everything he’s been doing for me. The truth is, I forgot how sweet and considerate Leo can be. But this past week, with all the little things he’s done for me, it’s obvious he’s trying to woo me. And he’s wooing hard.
He’s slowly chipping away at the defenses around my heart, which I know is exactly his intention. He’s making his feelings about me — about us — clear, and I’m finding it harder and harder to deny my own. I want him and more importantly, I want to let myself love him.
I’m normally loud and proud about my independence and how I don’t need a partner in life because I can take care of myself better anyway. But this week, Leo’s pointing out the little ways that having someone who cares for you in a romantic way can just make life better.
Which leads to now. The proximity to him in this small, confined space has been an exquisite form of torture. The air is a mix of spearmint and a fresh, woodsy smell that is undeniably Leo. The sun coming in through the window catches the blonde hairs on his muscular forearms as he grips the steering wheel, and it is physically painful not to reach out and touch him when he’s this close. A couple of times his hand flexed and I thought he was going to reach for me, but we’re both resisting contact. It helps, somehow, to know he’s as conflicted as I am about what to do.
“So, remind me again how you know the people that own the farm? I need to start memorizing who’s who around here.”
I shift back into my seat with a small smile. Something about hearing Leo talk about settling down in Dogwood Cove warms me inside.
“Reid Corser is the elementary school principal and one of Ethan’s best friends. He grew up here, just like Ethan and Mila. Abby’s uncle, Steve, owns the farm. When he broke his leg last winter, she came to town to help out, fell in love with Reid, and never left. So now she lives here on the farm with Reid, her uncle, and her daughter Layla.”
“Got it.”
A few minutes later, we pull up in front of the large farmhouse on the Martin family farm property. Violet starts bouncing up and down in her seat, shrieking random noises, and I can see why. Abby’s prepared for us and has the goats and chickens roaming free in the space in front of the house and a miniature pony already saddled up. Leo turns to me, an indiscernible look on his face.
“Did you set all of this up for Vi?”
I nod, suddenly unsure if I overstepped.
“Serena,” he starts, then stops, and I watch his throat move as he swallows. “Thank you.” Our eyes are like opposing magnets, pulled together by an invisible force.
Abby’s moved closer to the truck now and I see her out of the corner of my eye. “We should get Violet out of her seat.”
Leo shifts as if coming out of a trance and I know the feeling. “Yeah. Right.”
We get out, Abby staring at me questioningly, but I avoid her gaze. “Okay, do we want to ride the pony first, or see the animals?”
“Amals!” Vi screeches, beelining for one of the goats placidly munching on grass by the side of the house.
“Goats it is,” I say, following after her. Leo and Abby hold back, I’m guessing to discuss the pony ride, as I meander after the toddler who’s babbling at the goats. They’re being remarkably patient with her grabby hands, but I guess they’re used to kids.
“Hey Violet, want to feed one?”
The little girl turns to me, nodding wildly, and I pull out the bag of pellet food Abby gave me when we arrived. Sprinkling some in my hand, I crouch down and show her how the goat nibbles it out of my palm.
“Me do.”
“Yup, you do it this time.” I pour a little food onto her palm and carefully help hold her hand out flat. Her shriek of laughter when the goat starts eating makes me smile.
“’Gain, ‘gain!”
“Okay, sweetie. Here we go.”
Violet and I spend several minutes feeding the goats until I feel a hand stroke across my shoulders.
“Hey, beautiful girls, what are you two up to?”
“Feed amals,” Violet announces to her dad. “Daddy feed amals.”
Leo chuckles and holds out his hand for some feed. His eyes meet mine over the top of Violet’s head and something passes between us.
It would be so easy to start picturing this as my life. Weekend adventures with Leo and Violet, her little hand in mine and her adorable babble filling my ear. It’s tempting. It’s everything I haven’t let myself admit I wanted for the last twenty years. Leo and I talked about kids, in as much as he was adamant he didn’t want them, and I thought maybe I did. I always figured there was ample time to make that decision. Children wouldn’t be a possibility while I had my dance career, so it wasn’t a big deal to back away from our disagreement. But I always wanted to be a mom. With Leo.
But that’s a dangerous path. If life has taught me anything, it’s that things are often too good to be true. Leo with an adorable little girl, living in Dogwood Cove? I just don’t know how to trust that this, too, isn’t going to disappear on me eventually.
I stand up and hand the bag of feed to Leo. “I’m just going to talk to Abby for a bit.” Hurrying away before he can respond, I find Abby over by the barn tying the pony up to a fence post.