I don’t know how to respond, so I go for the easy out — denial. “Oh yeah, totally fine. Just heard someone whose voice sounded familiar. No big deal.” I wave my hand to emphasize hownotsignificant it is that I thought I heard the one man to ever own my heart.
Ashley’s looking at me strangely, and I’m pretty sure she knows I’m downplaying things, but thankfully, she doesn’t say any more.
“Okay. If you need help taking everything back to the studio, just let me know. I’ll get the guys over here. But if you’re okay for now, I’m going to head back to Finn.”
“You bet. Thanks for the salad!” I give her my sunniest smile. The smile that convinces moms there’s no need to worry about their child’s dance costume that suddenly needs to be fixed two nights before a recital, and they don’t have a sewing machine. Or my poor accountant who’s constantly worrying about my bottom line. The one I use when I need to convince someone that everything is fine.
I’ve had a lot of practice using this smile lately.
Ashley walks away and I take advantage of the slowly thinning crowd to look at all the faces again, part of me desperately wanting to see that familiar strong jaw curving into a deep smile, the other part of me terrified I wasn’t imagining things.
I spot the woman from earlier, over by the gazebo. She’s surrounded by young men, which lines up with what Ashley said about the family. The Donnelly’s. I don’t know them well, the guys all being several years younger than me and my friends. But now that I see them together, I realize I do recognize them. The girl works at Mila’s café, and I think one of the twin brothers works for the fire department. The other I recognize from my accountant’s office.
But it’s not the four young men laughing with their mother and sister that has me suddenly feeling as if the air around me is devoid of oxygen.
No. It’s the tall, muscular — more than I remember, that’s for sure — sexy-as-sin man wearing cargo shorts and a white T-shirt that’s molded to his torso. Blonde hair, a little messy on top, but shorter than it was in high school. He’s too far away for me to see, but I know there are bright green eyes underneath those sunglasses he’s wearing that tell me everything.
Leo Talbot.
The one man who has haunted my dreams for years. He’s the person I thought I would be with forever at one point in my life. And he’s the only man I haveeversaid those three little words to.
And now he’s holding a toddler in his arms, her head tucked into the crook of his neck, exactly where I used to like to snuggle into him.
A child.
The one thing we always disagreed on.
The ache I feel at seeing him after so long is all-encompassing. My bones feel like they can no longer hold me up, and I sink down into a chair, not letting my eyes leave him. I drink him in like a person lost in the desert given their first drink of water. He looks good. Strong, calm, steady, and clearly no longer mine. His head turns slightly in my direction, and I drop like a stone to the ground behind my table, my heart thumping wildly.
Why? Don’t ask me.
But there’s no way I’m prepared to talk to him. Not now, probably not ever. Just seeing him again feels like the worst kind of kismet. The kind where karma bites you in the ass and shows you everything you could have had if you hadn’t been too terrified of it. If you weren’tstilltoo terrified of it. I peek around the corner, then pull my head back quickly when I realize they’re still there. Voices pass by overhead as I pretend to be looking for something on the ground. It’s probably not that convincing, but I donotwant attention on me right now.
“What are you doing down there?”
My head pops up at Paige’s voice. She’s my best friend and unfortunately, an incredibly observant person. She also knows more about me and my past than anyone else. I reach out and grab her arm, pulling her down beside me.
“Leo’s here.”
Her mouth drops open and she pushes her glasses up her nose. “I assume by your attempt at subterfuge that you mean Leo from your younger years, and you are less than thrilled to see him again.”
“Yes, Paige, Leo. The boy I was in love with is now a man with a kid, and he’s standing over there.” I point at the group, trying to be unobtrusive about it, but when I look over, they’re all gone. “Well, he was.”
“You’re quite certain it was the same man? It has been a long time,” Paige comments, and I can hear the doubt laced in her tone.
“Yeah, I’m sure. I’d never forget him.”
Paige and I stand up, and I’m grateful she doesn’t say anything just now. My heart and my brain are still trying to process what’s going on.
This is what I appreciate about my friendship with Paige. We’re complete opposites in personality, and on the surface it doesn’t make sense that we’d be as close as we are. She’s reserved, incredibly smart, and an introvert through and through. I’m anything but conservative, smart enough, but let’s face it, my talents lie elsewhere, and I thrive off of social interactions. Where I’m loud and crazy and passionate, Paige is quiet and thoughtful. She knows when to give me space and when to push me.
A lot like Leo used to. Maybe my friendship with her isn’t so strange after all… Funny how I never thought of that until now.
“If he’s here for any amount of time, you’ll have to talk to him eventually.”
“I realize that.”
Paige pushes her glasses up her nose, a frequent habit of hers. “How will you handle that?”