“Yes!”
“What do you think, Miss Serena, could you show your favourite student a special dance?”
I know what he’s asking, but I can’t dothatdance. Not now, not until I’ve had a chance to prepare myself for the emotions that always bubble up when I dance that piece. The choreography I designed for our song, “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” by Aerosmith, is powerful for me. It’s the best thing I’ve ever created, and it comes straight from my heart.
But I can’t say no to Violet or her father, it seems. So instead, I line up a different song and take my place at the front of the studio. Leo sits down on the floor near the back and settles Violet in his lap. When the music starts, I close my eyes and let go. I glide across the floor, feeling the power of the music and the movement, and the intense emotional tug of knowing Leo is watching. As my body bends and sways in the motions that are as familiar to me as breathing, I sense the energy in the air changing, building, just like whatever it is between Leo and I. And Violet’s an important part of it all. That little girl is changing me, changing us. We can’t go back; we can only go forward. The past was then and this is now. And maybe, just maybe, opening up to the possibility of a now with Leo won’t be the worst thing in the world.
When the song finishes, I drop into my final pose, and the studio falls quiet for a second before Vi’s little voice pops up.
“’Gain? Dance ‘gain?”
“No baby, not again. But wasn’t Miss Serena amazing?” His voice is hoarse, laden with emotion.
I make my way over to them and sit down cross-legged. I’m breathing heavily, but not so much from exertion, more from the feelings coursing through my body. “I’m glad you liked it, Violet.”
She scrambles off her father’s lap and to my surprise, launches herself into my lap. Her sweet little arms wrap around my neck. “Fank you.”
I squeeze her tightly, relishing the feel of this small child loving and trusting me so deeply. Who knew a simple hug from a three-year-old could be so powerful? “You are so welcome.”
Leo clears his throat, and when I look up at him, I’m shocked to see that his eyes almost look watery, like he’s about to cry. He stands up and turns away for a second before facing us again.
“Well Violet, we better get going and let Miss Serena get ready for her next class.”
“Actually, I have a bit of a break right now.”
Violet’s arms squeeze me tighter. “Stay.”
“Vi, we can’t stay, honey.”
“Stay!”
Leo looks from his daughter to me, and I can see he’s not sure what to do or say right now.
“Why don’t we go for a walk outside and see if we can get my friend Mila to give us a treat?”
“Tweat?” Violet’s head pops up, and she looks at Leo. “Daddy, tweat?”
“Yes, baby girl, if we go for a walk, we can stop and get a treat at the bakery.” He looks at me and mouths “thank you” as he takes Violet’s hand, and they head into the outer room where the cubbies are.
I take advantage of the moment alone to take a few deep breaths to clear away the overwhelm that’s threatening me. It feels like things are getting serious in a way, with Violet’s feelings now clearly entwined with mine and Leo’s.
Whatever decisions we make, she’s a part of them. If we’re together, it’s the three of us, not the two of us anymore. That’s a really big freaking deal.
When I’ve changed my shoes and swapped my dance skirt for something a bit more appropriate to walk around town, I meet Leo and Violet outside the studio. Vi reaches for my hand and we head down the sidewalk. Leo looks at me over her head and the look of yearning on his face is matched by my own, I’m sure. Something about this simple action of walking hand in hand with him and his daughter is stirring up desires in my heart that I’d long since put aside.
“How’s your mom?”
Leo flashes me a quick smile. “She’s good. She’ll be thrilled to hear you live in Dogwood Cove. You know, she was so mad at me when we broke up.”
I stumble over nothing, my eyes finding his. “What?”
He just laughs. “Yeah, she figured it was all my fault and told me I was a moron for letting the best girl around get away.”
My mouth is flapping open like a freaking guppy fish.
“Tippy, chill. She loves you, that’s all.”
“But I feel bad,” I say lamely. “It wasn’t your fault at all, Leo.”