You regret this, too...
Now the rejection hurt. His eyes stung. He didn't trust his voice, so he stayed silent, trying to calm himself to be able to speak.
"Oh God!" She gasped, her tears falling.
It took them a few long minutes. Giselle's panic attack subsided, her breathing evened and so did his, but he still stayed silent.
Giselle sat down on the cold grass, hugging her knees, shivering. Her dress draped on the floor around her.
Chris gulped, hating himself for doing this to her. He had to remove her burden, otherwise what was the point of loving her? It didn't matter how much it broke him. He had to take her pain.
Love hurt. And it was okay. That's how he knew that it was real. He'd hurt for the rest of his life if it assured a smile on her face.
He took a deep breath, removed his coat, and walked toward her. Throwing the coat over her shoulders, he kneeled, wrapping her up in it.
She looked up into his burning eyes with her red ones. He smiled, resulting in her tearing up.
He reached for her, wanting to hold her but paused a few inches from her face.
He gulped. "May I?"
She blinked softly.
Chris held her face in his hands and smiled again. He whispered, "What's wrong?"
She let out a shaky breath. "We kissed."
He blinked. "So?"
She closed her eyes, shaking her head, but not much as his hands kept her steady. "You... We... This is wrong."
He nodded calmly. "I know."
"You don't want me."
He couldn't control the blood that drained his face. "Do you w-want me to w-want you?"
She looked at him as if wanting to say something, but she never answered his question. Reaching forward, she placed her hands on his chest. He touched his forehead against hers.
She closed her eyes. Her voice shook as she said, "I love Xavier."
Chris squeezed his eyes, his tear dropped down on her cheek. If she'd felt it, she ignored it.
"Yeah, I know, Pigtails," said Chris.
She sobbed, fisting his shirt in both her hands. He held her steady as she broke down.
"Elle," he called, his heart breaking inside his chest. "Why are you crying, Elle?"
"I don't know!"
"Okay, it's okay. You can cry."
She did. It took her a few moments to calm down. Chris left her face and sat in front of her, cross-legged. He took both her hands in his and held them firmly.
She gulped, looking down, cheeks pink. "I'm sorry."
He tilted his head and stared at her. He'd kissed her only a few moments ago. She'd kissed him back. He had thought he'd won. He felt like the luckiest man in the entire world. So he smiled because as much as he hated that it hadn't lasted, he could live his entire life content with the memory of this one moment.