“Bye,” I said, dumbstruck like a fool.
Devon the butler provided a car for us, and we travelled back to Hans’ place in the back of a limo this time, rather than a cab from London. It would have been crazily exciting if my nerves weren’t interfering with the experience. My feet were tapping, my heart was thumping wild, as though I was about to attend a court of law hearing. The trapdoor shaft was calling me louder now we were away from the bustle of the blood house.
Hans placed a hand on my thigh, so steadily. I took strength and calm from the power in his touch, because I believed in him, even if my nerves were cut to pieces.
It was into the early hours when the limo arrived back at home. My eyes were fixed on Hans once we were inside the hallway as he took off his jacket and hung it on the rack.
I wished I could scream at him, beg him to tell me who the hell Mary was, but my voice would have been weak.
I should know her.
Prickles, so many prickles.
Hans led me into the kitchen, sat me at the breakfast bar and brought me a glass of water. I took a long drink and braced myself for what was coming.
Hans took the stool by my side, waiting until I looked him in the eyes before he spoke.
“Understand that it’s not just vampires who have fated mates. The phenomenon has been around since the beginning of human existence. Soulmates, true love at first sight, the love of someone’s life, and happily ever afters. They all exist, even though people have grown cynical of them over time.”
“Is that what fated mates are?” I asked him. “Soulmates?”
“Yes, but in the case of humans the waves of love can often come in and out over many lifetimes. In some of their lives people find it, in some they don’t. Fated mates are often like passing ships in the night, so near but so far.” He clicked his fingers. “One tiny movement can change the course of everything. One spilled cup of coffee delaying a meeting in a doorway can change the road for decades ahead.”
“You said over many lifetimes. People live many lives, then? Reincarnation? One life after another?”
“I think of it as a cycle rather than a series, but I’m still learning. I’m by no means a master.”
I tried to weigh it up.
“How about vampires? Are you excluded from the cycle? You must be, right? Since you don’t die.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Our cycle is certainly a lot… longer, if we have one at all. As I said, I’m still learning. I may never find the answer.”
I loved the humility in Hans. The way he seemed to know so much, but didn’t associate it with ego.
“Have you heard of the butterfly effect?” he asked me.
“Where one small thing that happens changes the course of everything around it, bigger and bigger, like a ripple effect?”
“Yes. That’s the case with destiny, too.”
He took my hand and positioned us so his upturned palm was just a small distance from mine, and I could feel the heat, the pull, the electric charge.
“Fated mates are two magnets with perfect polarity,” he told me. “They call and crave each other, and when they merge, it is the most wholesome feeling in the world, but if they miss the pull, even just slightly.”
He pulled his hand away sharply and I winced. It hurt. He nodded in acknowledgement.
“Our two souls have been calling from the moment you were a spark of conception. I just kept away as best I could until you were ready.” I saw the hurt in his eyes. “It was hard, yes, but it is an awful lot harder when someone is snatched away before you so much as get the chance to hold them tight.”
I felt the ghost of a whisper.
Mary.
“Yes,” Hans said. “Mary was my fated mate, back before I knew what such a thing was.”
I felt sick to see the sorrowful look on his face. My eyes welled up for him. I felt as though I was going to throw up on the floor, because there was something else going on down in my guts. Something scary.
“Mary was twenty-nine years old when I last saw her,” he said. “She begged for her life to be spared, and the life of the young daughter beside her, and they granted one wish, but not the other.”