“Katherine–” he began, and I felt his hesitation.
“No,” I said. “I mean it. I want to be your fated mate for ever. Not from lifetime to lifetime with centuries apart. Not anymore. I want to be a vampire along with you. Now.”
I gasped as I rose from him but didn’t hesitate in crawling across the bed to flick the bedside lamp on. I wanted to see his expression.
“Little one,” he said, and his tone was firmer. “Becoming a vampire isn’t an easy decision.”
“It is,” I countered, my tone firmer along with his. “Being with you is an easy decision. I don’t care what that involves. Take all my blood right now, I couldn’t give a shit. I just want us to be together.”
“You’re pain and sex drunk,” he said, reaching out to stroke my face, but I gripped his wrist.
“I might be, yeah, but it doesn’t make any difference. I won’t feel any different when I’m not.”
His eyes weighed me up, but they didn’t need to. He could read my thoughts.
I WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE WITH YOU, HANS. I’M NOT LETTING YOU GO AGAIN!
“That was quite a yell.”
“Yeah, and maybe it needs to be. Why won’t you let me be a vampire with you?”
He looked so beautiful beside me, so full of love as he smiled.
“I didn’t say that, sweetheart. I am more than willing for you to be a vampire with me, nothing would make be happier, but we need to make sure it would makeyouhappier. Giving up your living flesh is a huge thing to consider. I’m not certain you’re ready to make that call.”
That pushed a button inside me, like a deep wounded trigger had been pulled. For so long I’d been told what I should and shouldn’t want, and what I should and shouldn’t think, and what I should and shouldn’t be doing. I wasn’t taking it anymore.
“I don’t need to consider it,” I told him. “I’ve known it since I was a little girl. I’ve been fascinated with vampires because it was my destiny to be one. With you.”
He didn’t respond to that, and I knew I’d nailed it.
“Argue it,” I challenged. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
He tried.
“You haven’t even tasted vampire blood yet. Let alone fully comprehended the reality of being a blood seeker for all time, losing the love of sunlit mornings and seeing the world in the light of the day.”
“So? Who cares? It’s destiny, isn’t it?Ourdestiny.”
He was silent. I knew I was right.
“So what’s the problem?” I asked. “Why can’t you just bite me and suck me to death and let me drink from you to make my transition? That’s what’s we’re destined for, isn’t it? If you weren’t going to make me a vampire why would you have introduced yourself in the first place?”
He sighed. “Us being together is destined, Katherine, yes. But when and how you choose to become a vampire is something your body and soul both need to be ready for.”
“And they are!”
“Really?”
With that he leapt up and pinned me down on the bed. It was so rough, so forceful, and his eyes were burning fierce, teeth looking savage as he hissed in my face. My body responded before I could stop it, I flinched and screamed with terror. I thrashed with crazy panic, breaths ragged, and he let me go as I was still struggling.
“There we go,” he said, and took himself off me. “You’re not ready yet. It’s a progression that will happen when it’s time.”
Fuck it.
I felt so angry with myself as I raised myself up. I was staring down at him, and I felt frustration like I’d never known it.
“Let me guess. Patience, right?” I asked. “Is that going to be your answer to everything, Hans? Patience, patience, patience? I’m sick of fucking patience.”