“Every vampire but my father bit you for months while we were dead. It is hard for me to contemplate that you’re here. And I don’t understand how what you did to me happened.”
We could discuss it over and over for the rest of my life if he wanted. I had no answers. “Ace, why did you come in here like you wanted to kill me? And was it just my blood that made you change your mind?”
“No, I wanted you to go away. To run far away from here. I didn’t expect to be around very much longer, since I was feeling so bad. I assumed the next battle would be my last, so I wanted you to go somewhere else before it happened. I thought these three somehow tricked you into staying with them.”
That didn’t make any sense. “How would they have done that?”
“I don’t know. I’m not exactly in my right mind.” He looked away for a second. “Somehow, you could feel what I do. It’s not normal. I haven’t felt full, or anything besides starved, since I woke.”
Because he was supposed to be drinking from me.I blinked. It was a sudden thought, full of a sureness and certainty I didn’t understand nor could I explain. But I knew it to be true, so I said the words aloud. “You should have been with me. Drinking from me. Maybe your body just understood and couldn’t tolerate others.”
He blinked. “Do you suppose that’s possible?”
“I don’t know anything about anything for sure anymore. That’s a guess.” We were straying away from the point. “If you didn’t intend to hurt me, why did you do what you did? Vampires don’t lie.”
Ace shifted slightly. “I do. I stay up into daylight and I lie. I’m not built correctly.”
I opened and closed my mouth several times trying to come up with a response. “Well, then, I’ll just have to figure out when you’re lying I guess.”
“I won’t lie to you again.”
Of course he could be lying when he said it, but then that was true with most people. I had to figure all of it out. “We’ll just deal with that another time. For now, let’s figure out what we’re going to do about the sleep problem. I can’t imagine that it isn’t playing a role in how badly you’re feeling and consequently how badly I’m feeling.” My bones started to ache again. “You need to go to bed.”
“I hate it. The pain. It really hurts when it pulls us under. I can’t help but resist it.”
I swallowed and then linked my hand with his. “You’re making it worse, I bet. The harder you hold it off, the worse it gets. Tell you what? If you go to sleep now, when you open your eyes I’ll be back from work. And then you can feed again and finally be full.”
“I hate that you’re working and that you have that shitty phone.” He scowled and a piece of his hair fell into his eyes. Without thinking about it, I brushed it away. It was something I would have done for him when he was a human. If it startled him, I couldn’t tell, because he didn’t even head tilt.
I took a deep breath. “Ace, we can talk about it when you rise. Okay? Between one breath and the next, give into the pull. Let’s turn off this light, lie back down together, and you can close your eyes and rest. Then we’ll be together the next thing you know.”
“There are still things to talk about. You know that we can’t all just hang out in this house like we’re in a bubble. The elders are still out there, not to mention Rowan when he finds out, and he will find it out.”
No wonder he can’t sleep.“None of which we can solve right now.”
We both scooted down and I leaned over him to turn off the light. I pressed my forehead to his. “Between one breath and the next, just give in to it.”
“Be careful at work. You’re on your own during the day without any of us to protect you. There are eyes everywhere. Trust me, I found you just because you drove through the area where we were fighting. It’s only a matter of time until you are seen by someone who you don’t want to be seen by.”
I kissed the end of his nose. “I am warned. I’ll be careful. I made it all on my own addicted to vampire venom with no help and managed to get around, but you’re right. We can’t just stay in this house forever. It’s the best place I’ve ever lived, and I never want to leave it, but I’m fully aware that there will likely be a time that I am running for my whole life, or I’m back with the vampires, or you all leave me, and I’m once again addicted to venom with no one who will help me.”
He shook his head. “I’ve only been back a few hours with you, and even I know that won’t happen. I’m amazed I made it this long. I don’t know why I didn’t do what Caesar did and find you. We all should have done that.”
“Rowan told you not to. He abandoned me.” I kissed his cheek. “Now close your eyes and go to sleep.”
“We didn’t discuss it, not once, but I’m pretty sure he thought he was living up to a promise. We didn’t know what happened to you, so that’s my guess. Rowan is the perfect vampire and part of that is never going back on your word, right or wrong. If you say something, you do it, so he did what he said.” He shook his head. “I know, we can talk about it after rising. Fine. See you then.”
Ace closed his eyes. “Between one breath and the next.”
“Exactly.” As I had no experience doing this myself it was hugely hypocritical for me to even act like I knew what I was talking about. Even so, it worked. With a shake that traveled through his whole body, Ace finally gave in to the pull. I didn’t move for long moments just to make sure it was real.
I had a whole day ahead of me where I had to pretend this wasn’t the way I lived when vampires were awake. The good news was Ace’s pain finally fled my body.
Twelve
My co-workers, minus my boss, continued to be delightful on my second day at work. If Stan continued to creep me out by looking down my shirt, I was willing to put up with him for the company the rest of them provided. It might not have been the best call, but after so long of others making decisions for me, it was at leastmycall.It works for now.
Stella and I ate lunch together outside, leaning against the back of the building. The warm and lovely sun danced golden on my skin. It was nice to remember I was human—unlike my vampire roommates, I could sit outside without discomfort and see the sun every day if I wanted. It was important for me to remember I still had a human life and not just become part of theirs.