He nodded. “Great.”
* * *
After math class,things sort of slowed down. My day regulated. Lunchtime came around, and I grabbed my books to go sit in the library. On the days when I didn’t have enough cash to buy food or bring anything from home, it was easier to not be around everyone else eating. I found my place in the corner and picked up my books. I had the essay to write and needed to study for a test. In all my other classes, I was pretty confident I’d do well on the tests.
My stomach grumbled, but I ignored the pang. Reading. That was what I needed to do. And…
Rowan flopped down in the chair next to me. “You spend so much time in the library. It’s very commendable, but it’s lunchtime and you’re not in the cafeteria. Study later. Eat now.”
I sighed. “Griffin says you’re now all my friends. It’s a strange thing. I mean, I didn’t know friendships worked like this.”
His smile was huge. “That’s how it works with us, apparently. I haven’t made a new friend ever. So you’re it. Come on. Lunch.”
This was about to be awkward. “I don’t have any lunch.”
“Hence the cafeteria.” He rose. “That’s where one buys food.”
I shook my head. “I don’t have any money today. My mother hasn’t been around in a bit. I never know when she’s coming back, but she’s broke anyway. I have to pay all the bills. It adds up. Some days, there isn’t lunch.” I shrugged. “Better to just stay here. And I get it if it just got weird and we can’t be friends now.”
Rowan sat back down. “I can buy your lunch. Trust me, it’s not a problem. I don’t have many things in my life, but money is something I have in abundance. You’ve got to have lunch. It’s a long day without food.”
“Thank you, but I’m not comfortable with that.” My mother took from everyone and anyone. She practically defined the word grifter. It was humiliating. I worked. I would always find a way to pay for myself. “So we can be the kind of friends that Griffin described, but who also can’t really go out and do anything because I can’t afford it.” I winced. “I just made it awkward.”
He shook his head. “You didn’t. Okay. Stay here. I’ll be back.”
I nodded. Griffin had been right—Rowan did seem to be able to naturally get me to talk without doing very much. How did he get me to tell him about my issues? I sighed, looking back at my book.
Moments later, all five of them arrived. They took all the seats around me at the table. It was like the night before. We were even all back in our same seats.
They all had their food with them.Really?They’d brought their food with them where, among other things, I came to escape it?What the ever-loving hell?
But then they selected half of their food, each one of them placing part of their own lunch in front of me.
When I would have objected, Rowan raised a hand to stop me. “I didn’t buy you any lunch. It was lunch I already had. Same for them, so please eat. I’d never let a friend go hungry, I don’t think. At least now I wouldn’t. Who knows what the future holds? Please.”
I’d never had anyone do for me what they’d all just done. These five guys who’d declared we were friends like that sort of thing could just happen.
I was lonely. Hungry. And starved for just what they were offering.
I never could have turned any of it down, even if I knew in my heart that it was off. And I did. I was many things, but I wasn’t stupid. I went in with my eyes wide open.
Three
The restof my day was markedly better because I had a full stomach. I didn’t know if my new friends made their lunches themselves or if they had staff to do it. Or if their pale, rich fathers got up to make sure their children were fed. All I knew was I’d just had the best half a turkey and cheese sandwich I’d ever eaten.
I was so full, I could practically have fallen asleep if I’d let myself. Only I didn’t. I forced myself to concentrate. To drive forward, just like I always did. I kept my head down and didn’t see them the rest of the day, not even in the library after school, where I performed my ritual of studying for the hours before I had to go to work. I chewed on my lower lip—a bad habit that I needed to break, considering my bottom lip was perpetually sore because I did that so often—and learned physics as best as I could.
Science was always my least favorite class. Well, physics was. I liked chemistry.
I could just quit school and hit the road. The thought hit me the same way it always did—all of a sudden and hard enough to knock my thoughts right off the track. I sighed. I wanted a high school diploma. I was only sixteen years old. If I left, I’d be homeless. I had nowhere to go. Mom’s family was gone, long dead, and she’d blown through the small inheritance she’d gotten from them by purchasing our trailer—and thank goodness she’d done that—before buying more drugs and alcohol. At the very least, I had a roof over my head. I wasn’t homeless; I wasn’t on the streets.
I had to stay the course. Work this summer to save everything I could. When I wasn’t in school, I had more hours to earn. I took a deep breath. I needed to stay the course. Even if it was just in my head, a high school diploma was something I could earn, something I could know I had done. It would be a tangible sign of my having survived this.
I steeled my shoulders. I could do this. I had to somehow stay the course, stay focused, and not run from town like my life depended on it. I wasn’t in danger. Things were hard, but I was okay. I lifted my head and stared into the stacks. For just a second, goose bumps broke out all over my arms and then seemed to flee my skin just as fast.
What was that? I shuddered. Sometimes, I could downright spook myself. There was nothing in the stacks, nothing that should make me nervous, except maybe some old dusty books. I collected my stuff. This was ridiculous. I wasn’t going to get any work done.
Maybe it was going to be the kind of day where I didn’t really accomplish anything. Work was pretty mundane, all of the excitement of Ace being there the day before gone. Some nights dragged, and it was proving to be one of them.