Almost at once, they all dropped their guns from their heads and set them on the ground. Tanner turned to me. “If it wouldn’t get you killed, I’d have taken them out.”
“Tanner…”
There was a flood of action then. Five vampires I didn’t know grabbed them by the arms and hauled them inside toward the coffins. Charlotte ran to me. “I can’t believe they did that. Would they actually have given this up?”
I nodded. She’d never understand, though. From that moment on, I was certain I’d only be surrounded by people who would never get it.
They all wanted this.
With Charlotte pulling me along, I went into the room where it would all end. Doctor Lamar stood inside. The lighting was low, almost resembling candlelight. He had five glasses in front of him.
That was the medicine they’d ingest to make them less likely to fight to get out of the coffin. It took everything in me not to rush to the tray and knock it over. What would be the point of that? He probably had more in his car or wherever he stored the stuff.
“You’re all murderers.” I had to say it. “And there will be an accounting. Somewhere. In this life or the next. I don’t care what you are. There will be. I know it.” I didn’t. Not really. I had no spiritual life to draw on, no sense of anything other than what I saw day by day. But right then? I believed it. In all of my body, in every cell in my body.
Caesar caught my gaze. He smiled at me before he took the cup in his hand. Tanner was next. Rowan after him. Griffin. Then Ace. They all stood together. In silence, they stared at their cups. Then, one by one, they drank them.
I closed my eyes.This is happening. I can’t do anything to stop it.
Chairs squeaked; bodies moved. The vampires settled in to watch, to be there to see these five die in the next five hours.Faster, if they struggle.
“It’s going to be okay.” Lamar walked over to me. “This is a beautiful tradition.”
“Drop dead.” I wouldn’t pretend it was okay. Not for anything in the world.
He sighed. “You’ll understand the beauty of it. I promise you will.”
It wasn’t likely. Not at all. “I’ll make you pay for this someday.”
This was happening because of me. I’d spoken to them in the library, and then they’d used me to make sure the five of them didn’t take any out they might have had to get away from this. I’d been the pawn in their deadly endeavor.
“I’m sorry.” I spoke low, but I was sure they could hear me.
Caesar climbed into his coffin first. They were all the same. Mahogany. Big. Daunting. The stuff of nightmares. Human beings shouldn’t have to see their own coffins unless they wanted to. They certainly shouldn’t be alive when they got in them.
Ace went into his next. He paused to clasp Rowan on his shoulder before he got inside. None of them looked at me so far, and I doubted they would. My part with them was over. They had to do this, and they had to do it alone. Even in a crowd.
Tanner. Then Griffin. Finally, Rowan. The lids were closed by vampires I didn’t know. Charlotte squeezed my arm. “It’ll be okay. They’re going to be like gods when they come back.”
I didn’t want gods. I wanted the five of them, just as they were. As they were meant to be. Not this nightmare. Not whatever monster was going to wake up sometime in the next nine months to a year.
A tear slipped from my eye, and I wiped it away. I couldn’t cry there. Not in front of these people. The lids were locked.
They’d lived their whole lives knowing they had to do this. And as I stood there, I knew one thing, even though it didn’t make sense—I should be doing it too. They shouldn’t be doing this without me. Their death should have been my death. As it was meant to be.
I shook the thought away. This was no time to lose my mind.
Fifteen
They didn’t go quietly.I didn’t know whether to applaud the Dylan Thomas quality of it or to wish they had a way to knock themselves out so they never had to endure another minute of living. Yelling. Screaming. Banging. At the end of it, the need to survive won, and they tried. Everyone but Rowan. He was silent. What was happening with him? I just didn’t know.
And then it was over. I didn’t know that I’d be able to tell who died first. I really had no idea. My mind had become mush. Their coffins were silent.
I was going to run now. I’d stayed, witnessed their hell, and now it was time for me to get out of there. Charlotte rubbed my back. She might not get it, she might be one dose of crazy away from being a Manson chick, but she wasn’t cruel. Rubbing my back was kind. I wouldn’t forget it.
I stumbled to my feet. “I’ve got to go.”
“Hold on.” It wasn’t Charlotte who spoke to me but Rowan’s father. He stared at me, as he grabbed my arm, hauling me to him. He smiled, slowly. There wasn’t an ounce of grief in his gaze. Not even a little bit. Right that second, he was every bit the monster I knew him to be.How can anyone want this?