It was ridiculous to be so at odds, especially considering the best I could do was hope that I’d soon be responsible for the upkeep of the place. I almost begged to go back to school, but it was ridiculous too. I got to see glimpses of them in odd times. I’d lose that if I were gone.
It wasn’t until I stood watching the rain pound the pavement from the inside of Rowan’s garage that I really considered running. I had no doubt that the vamps would come for the guys if they ran. They were worth too much for them. Would they really waste that kind of time and resources on me? They planned to kill me anyway. Probably they wouldn’t.
I was just a girl they were using to get what they wanted. It was only days until the guys would die. They weren’t going anywhere, and they were obeying—something they would do whether I was there or not. Would it make any kind of difference if I ran? The guys would be upset, but they’d understand. They might even like it that I wasn’t there to see them die.
Could I live with myself if I did?
No, I absolutely couldn’t. I hadn’t known them long, but I knew I had to be there with them until the end. That in the same situation, they never would’ve left me. I would be there to see this through, and I’d run afterward.
Yes, that was what I would do.
The day they were dead, I would get the hell out of there and be done with fucking vampires forever. I stepped out into the rain, letting it make me wet.
Despite the fact we were all pretending really hard otherwise, tomorrow was graduation. Even if it were pouring rain, there would be no postponing what the guys had to do.
No rain delays for becoming a vampire.
I hated the vamps. I always would.
* * *
Griffin held me against him,both of us wrapped in blankets on the floor, while the television played an action film softly in the background. Everyone else was asleep in their beds. Tanner wasn’t sleeping well. He lay in bed next to Caesar, where I would soon join them.
I didn’t know how they were sleeping at all. I was wide awake.
“You got yourself soaked today. You’re going to get sick like that, and I won’t be around to take care of you, so you have to be careful not to do that again.”
I looked up at him, leaning on his chest so I could. “It’s sweet of you to worry, but you don’t have to. I promise I know how to take care of myself.”
“I know you do.” He cleared his throat. “Maybe it was a past life, how we knew each other? Maybe that’s why it feels this way—like we already had the basics all done the day that we met.”
At the end of the day, we could believe whatever we wanted. Who was going to tell us we were wrong or right? “Sounds good. Let’s go with that.”
“Okay.”
“You didn’t get to make a speech. You didn’t get to go show off being valedictorian.”
He laughed, a low sound. “I was never going to get to go.”
I could hear the ache in his voice, and it moved through me like he’d taken a knife and sliced at my soul. “What would you have said?”
“I don’t know. Something about living your best life. About making sure every day has some meaning. Not that every day has to be filled with purpose and drive, but that at least a small moment of every day counts for something. Like just taking the time to appreciate how cool a cloud looks or something.”
I loved that. “I’d have stood up and applauded.”
“I love you, Maci,” he whispered in my ear. “Too soon to say it, but I’m gone tomorrow, so I’m not going to hold back the words. I love you. Thank you for coming into my life when you did so I’d know this feeling, just once.”
Tears flooded my eyes. “Oh, Griffin. I love you too.” I really did. I was young, it made no sense, yet there it was. My feelings were real. Maybe we really had loved each other in a past life. Or we were all crazy in this terrible time. I didn’t suppose it made much of a difference. I loved all of them, and I was the lucky one, because whatever happened next, unlike them, I wouldn’t lose the memories. I’d always remember what it felt like to love them and be loved in return.
The next day was filled with all of them getting tattoos. A funny way to spend a last day alive, but it was what they wanted to do. The idea was to get ones they were sure they would someday hate. The artists doing the ink must have thought they were all crazy but seeing as I was pretty sure they were aware of who they were giving their work to, they didn’t say a word.
Had it been easy or hard to live with people always nervous around them, knowing they were afraid of them even though they hadn’t really done a thing? Maybe it was a little bit of both.
Rowan settled on a butterfly on his wrist. Griffin had a peace sign done. Tanner picked the mascot for a hockey team, even though he didn’t follow the sport. Caesar got the rising sun. Ace selected the card symbol that was his name. They were all beautiful, and I was actually disappointed I wouldn’t get to look at them over time.
I didn’t see other inked vampires. It might be a big problem that they got tattooed someday, but it wasn’t going to affect my guys. It was their message from beyond the grave. They existed, and they were here.
Finally, we were back in Rowan’s room, their healing tattoos covered up. I didn’t know what was going to happen to that newly inked skin. Would it drain off when they died? How did it work for vampires?