I stepped out of Ace’s arms, wishing I was back in them immediately. “My mother forbade me from ever going in the woods. They’re right there, and I’ve never been. Funny, that’s the only thing she ever told me not to do.”
“Seems kind of random.” Ace shrugged. “But what do I know?”
I walked to my room and stopped abruptly. My mother had torn my sleeping space apart. Literally smashed my lamps and destroyed my pillows. I forced myself to swallow. That wasn’t the biggest problem. I didn’t mind that my clothes were on the floor, or even that if the stains were any indication, they’d fucked in my bed. Well, actually, that bothered me a whole shit ton, but not as much as the fact that she had found the false bottom to my drawer and that the money that had been in an envelope there was entirely gone.
How had she known? It had looked nearly flawless to me, and my mother wasn’t observant. Still, the how didn’t matter. The point was she had my money.
“It’s gone. She has it.” Or had it. This was my mother—she might have already spent all of it. “The money I had saved to pay bills and get out of here. It’s gone. All of it.” I’d gone without eating to save that money. I closed my eyes. I wasn’t even sure who I’d spoken to. Neither one of the guys might have heard me.
I disobeyed my own order and swung open her door, loudly. My mother startled on the bed. “Maci? Come back to apologize?”
“Where is it?” I stood in the doorway, my hands fisted almost of their own accord because I’d certainly not consciously done it, and I screamed at her. The two men on the bed strewn over each other roused, all of them staring at me. “Where is the money, Mom?”
She scowled at me. “After the way your friends treated us last night, I decided I was entitled to recompense.” She slurred that last word, like she didn’t know how to say it. “And we made ourselves very happy.”
I caught my breath. This had been my fear. “Mom, that was two thousand dollars. You can’t have spent two thousand dollars last night. You can’t have done that. That’s for the lights, Mom. That’s for food. That’s for us to live, Mom.” I wouldn’t talk about my escape plan. That was none of her business. “How could you do that?”
Downright shouting, I lunged forward, only to be stopped by Ace wrapping his arms around my waist and hauling me backward. “Not worth it. And I don’t trust them not to accuse you of something awful if you do make contact with them. They’re not worth jail time. They’re just not.”
I didn’t fight him. He was right. But with my heart racing like I’d just run ten miles, I didn’t know how I was going to get through it if I didn’t slug someone.
“Take her outside,” Caesar said softly. “I’m going to have words with her mother.”
A second later, he set me down outside. I paced around. “All of it. She tookallof it.”
“I know.” He grasped my shoulders. “I’m not trying to manhandle you, by the way. I respect your ability to make decisions. I—”
“Ace,” I interrupted him. “I’m not upset with you. Thank you for stopping me from committing assault. I can’t…” My voice trailed off.
He cupped my cheek. “You can’t what?”
I burst into tears. It had been such an incredibly long time since I’d cried, I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d done it. What did it solve? Nothing. And no one cared when I cried. I’d learned to just shut up and deal. There was no choice.
But I was sobbing, and there was nothing I could do about it. Ace pulled me against his chest and pressed my head against him so that I literally sobbed into his body. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t even know how I would attempt it.
Blubbering, I tried to explain. “I went without food to save that. I…I paid the electricity. I…”
I was done. Whatever I was going to say after that, I couldn’t get the words out. He rocked me gently. His voice was low. “You shouldn’t have to do those things. There should be a very limited expectation of the people who are responsible for us, that they will do their best to keep the lights on. No one is going to turn them off on you. No one is going to make you homeless. No one is going to harm you, and when you want to go next year, you’ll go. I promise you that.”
I cried harder. Those weren’t things he could legitimately say to me and make happen. I had to breathe. I had to try.
“I’ve got you. For just a minute, believe that I’ve got you.” He continued his rocking. “I never make promises I can’t keep. Fuck this. Seriously. I know she’s your mom, but this is monstrous, and trust me, I know about monsters.”
The sound of footsteps approaching us told me Caesar was there. “I have two hundred dollars of your money. Trust Ace, Maci. He never lies. If he told you this was going to be okay, then it will. And I’m making the same promise. You’re safe. You’re not going to be homeless.”
I pulled back. Were they kidding? “You guys lie all the time.” I wiped my eyes. It did no good. “You just dodge and refuse to elaborate and that’s fine, but you can’t tell me you don’t lie. Everyone lies, literally everyone, even if it’s just lying to ourselves. We all lie all the time.”
Ace nodded, slowly. “You’re right—everyone lies. I guess I do even more than most. Every day. I hate that idea, but what amazes me is that I don’t think you mind it that much. I don’t know why. I wonder if you even do? I wonder if it matters? All of that is not important, because we’re being honest with each other right this second. Brilliantly, horribly, truthful. And what I’m saying to you is that I will not allow your life to fall apart because of this.”
Caesar held out my two hundred dollars, so I took it, pocketing the money. “Thanks.” Guilt spread over me. These guys were helping me, and I’d just launched at them, calling them liars. “Guys, I’m so sorry. That was uncalled for. I…”
Ace pulled me into a hug. “You were right. What you said was right. You don’t ever have to apologize for being right. The things I don’t tell you…I can’t tell you. If I could, I’d share in a heartbeat.”
“I wouldn’t.” Caesar’s voice was low. “Because they fucking suck. Come on. You’re not going to work today. Call in sick. Or text in sick. Whatever you do.”
That made no sense. “I can’t earnlessnow. If anything, I’m going to have to somehow work more.” I closed my eyes. “Or I’m never getting out of here.”
“Yes, you are,” Ace whispered in my ear. “I promise.”