Rowan met my gaze. “I’m sorry, Maci. Have to cut this short. We’ll do this again another time.”
I had a feeling we absolutely would not.
* * *
The driveto my car was quiet. Rowan was behind the wheel and had insisted I sit up front with him, which put Griffin and Tanner in the back. Caesar and Ace had gone home in Ace’s car, watching us drive away like they wished they were in the car with us. Or maybe I projected. Maybe I just wished they were all with me.
So I could make sure they were all okay. I didn’t know exactly what had happened back there, but I knew they weren’t okay. That they were all shaken and silent. Seeing Rowan’s father bothered them more than being threatened by Rowan’s cousin and his friends who hadn’t spoken.
I thought about the man. Rowan looked like him. Blond hair, long face. But the resemblance ended there. Next to me, the guy I was just starting to know had sun-kissed skin and streaks in his hair, a bright gaze and happiness surrounding him every second that he wasn’t being battered by some secret that I was sure had something to do with his father. They were all afraid of him.
Going on instinct alone, I took the hand he rested on top of the stick shift and squeezed. “Are you okay?” I looked over my shoulder into the backseat. “Are you all okay? I don’t know what’s happening with you, but I certainly know how it is to have a shitty parent.”
Tanner met my gaze. “You’re so nice. We’ve just given you a terrible evening, and you’re checking on us. Why are you so kind? Shouldn’t you be pissed off and raving?”
Griffin shook his head. “I think Maci is more likely to silently stew. But maybe we can get her to open up to us if we can have an evening that ends differently than this one, if she doesn’t decide we’re more trouble than we’re worth.”
“I wouldn’t decide that. I have a parent that troubles me too.” That was the politest way I could find to say it. “Whatever is happening, as long as you’re okay, that’s what matters.”
Griffin blinked rapidly. “We’re okay.”
The silence descended again. Arriving at my car, I undid my seatbelt, but Rowan stopped me when I would’ve opened the door. With his hand on my arm, he shook his head. “No. Tanner will drive your car home. Stay here with me. It’s late.”
I supposed it was, but I was used to being up late. Arguing with him was an option, and I was sure I could get my own car and leave. But despite the silence, I liked their company. Who knew what his father was going to say tonight? Maybe they wouldn’t be allowed to see me again. Then there would be no more moments where I felt like I basked in their attention.
Maybe they’d move on to give this feeling to someone else. Internally, I sighed. The truth was I knew this couldn’t be my reality. It never was. I’d be back to being alone in my trailer soon enough, left wondering if I’d imagined tonight.
Tanner held out his hand, and I handed him my keys. His smile was huge. “I’ll take good care of your car. See you in a minute.”
He jumped out of Rowan’s car and rushed toward mine. In the dim light from the closed grocery store, my car looked lonely in the all but empty lot. We watched him walk to the driver’s side door, and I winced as Tanner had to pull it three times to open it. If my poverty weren’t already obvious—and I was sure it had to have been because I hadn’t had any lunch that day—it would be now. I kept the car clean, but it wasn’t like theirs.
“Maybe I should drive it,” I said aloud.
Griffin answered, “He’ll be fine. It’s okay, Maci.” He leaned forward and placed his hand on my side. “Whatever it is, don’t worry.”
The trouble was I was bound to worry. It really was my natural state.
* * *
We arrived at my trailer,the darkness of the night increasing until the blinding yellow of the fluorescents coming from the park around us blared at me like the light purposely wanted to give me a headache. I winced.Wow. I must be really tired.
But as we approached, a truth struck me beyond the nasty lights hitting my eyes. My trailer blared as bright as any of the others, and there were three cars in the driveway that I didn’t recognize.
I forced myself to swallow as the truth hit me. “My mom is home.”
That was good news. I preferred when she was. Otherwise, every noise was a potential threat I’d have to handle alone. However, that didn’t include the times she brought guests home. They were almost always men, and not all of them kept their focus on her. Sometimes, they turned their attention to me. So far, I’d managed to avoid anything terrible happening just because I’d been smart and lucky. Mom was always too out of it or desperate for drug money to care what they did to me in those moments.
I swallowed. “Well, looks like I have some people over tonight. Thanks for bringing me home.”
Griffin sat forward in his seat, the noise stretching the leather enough that I could hear him move. “Who would she have in there?”
“I don’t know.” But I could guess the type. It was always the same kind of person. “Thanks, guys. I am so grateful. I’ll see you on Monday, I guess.”
“Hey.” Rowan stopped me again. “Let me walk you in. We all will. Just to check things.”
I knew what he would find, and after the night this had turned out to be, I wasn’t sure I could handle them seeing my mother with a needle in her arm or sucking someone’s dick so that she could do just that. Some things were for my eyes only.
I shook my head. “Thanks. That’s sweet, but I need to say no, okay?”