“Can I say something openly?”
“Yes.”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-four,” he responds and fuck if I don’t feel like a cougar between him and Kelsey.
“I think that your internal urge to be bound is really causing these feelings of jealousy and need. I think that if you were bonded to Kelsey and Dom that this would go away.”
“If only it were that simple,” he says, giving me a self-deprecating smile. I return it and sit back in my seat.
“I think you want more than anything to feel settled and secure. Just like you do when you’re in heat. But this is something wholly different. I’m sorry you’re struggling.”
Something about the last sentence makes him soften. “Will… will you hold me?” he asks and I can’t stop the grin that takes over my face as I lie back and open my arms. His head is on my left breast as my hand strokes nonsensical patterns down his back.
“This feels nice,” he says in a sleepy voice.
I shouldn’t say it, but I do anyway. “Does Dom not do this for you?”
He doesn’t get angry, just sighs. “Dom is amazing. Honestly, he wants to bond. I’m the one that has been holding back.”
This is a shock to me and he must feel my body tense. I feel even more guilty about what I said to him.
“I wanted our pack to be on the same wavelength, you know. No one feeling left out or like pre-existing relationships meant more than others. I think another part of me always knew about Kelsey, too. So it just didn’t feel right to bond when there was potentially someone else out there that was a better fit.”
Irritation creeps back up and I can’t help the purr that rumbles through my chest. It shocks Cameron, but he doesn’t say anything. “I’ve quite had it with you, comparing yourself to Kelsey. If you don’t stop, you’ll be punished.” As soon as I say it, I regret the words. Cameron isn’t Kelsey or Emmett, he isn’t used to my brand of sexual deviancy or really my personality at all.
“Please,” he whispers.
“What?” I ask, looking down at him as his wide eyes look back up at me.
“Please punish me.”
“Cameron, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“You don’t want to do it?” he asks, his eyes pleading with mine. It’s a look I know a mile away, a submissive who needs cathartic release.
“I want it. I just want to make sure you’re not using me as a form of self-flagellating.”
“No, it’s not that. I just… I need—”
“You need to let it out?”
“Yes, please.”
I look at him up and down. This is moving way faster than I intended for the night. “What do you want? What are your limits?”
“I don’t really know. I mean, mostly what I do has been pretty broad spectrum. I would just like a moment to not be so inside my head and doubt everything that is happening around me.”
“You say red and we stop,” I tell him firmly.
“Okay,” he says.
“Is Dom okay with this?” I ask, wanting to roll my own eyes at myself that I’m thinking of this Alpha who was a complete asshole. But I try to put myself in Dom’s shoes.
“Yes, he knows I’m here.”
“When you say punished, you realize that I would never want to actually hurt you? That I want to bring you pleasure in a way that makes you feel good?”