“Why the sarcasm?” I question, even though I could take a very good guess at what her answer will be.
“Oh, I don’t know, Cam, let me think… hot guy is looking out for you. Hot guy is being all protective and shit. Hot guy literally threw his own flesh and blood out on his arse, because he thought he was going to hurt you. I mean, for fuck’s sake, Cameron, this shit is hot with a capital H.”
Yep, that was pretty much what I was expecting her answer to be, except there was less mentions of the “hot guy”.
“Marcie, what are you talking about? It is completely unprofessional, and a total invasion of my privacy.”
She rolls her eyes. “Please don’t come at me with your ridiculous excuses. It’s hot, and you know it fucking is.”
I look at her for a beat, and then it’s like my whole body sags as I crumple into the chair in front of her desk and put my head in my hands whilst saying, “I know it is, and I am so fucked.”
“Only because you think you are,” she says.
“I can’t do this, Marcie. I can’t work here with him, it was a fucking stupid idea to think that I could,” I say into my hands, because I’m yet to look up at her.
“Yes, you can. It’s been a couple of days, and you are overthinking this whole thing way too much.”
“No, you don’t understand,” I say, as I drag my head up and rest my elbows on my knees. “All I can think about is him. All I can picture is him. It’s fucking with my head, Marcie. Not to mention that Danny is in the mix, kind of—”
“Danny is a douche, and he is so far out of the mix that it’s laughable,” she cuts in.
“He’s still Caleb’s son.”
“So? Jesus Christ, you think you’re the first chick to fuck her ex’s dad? I mean, really?” she says, and I look at her as if she is insane. “It’s not a taboo thing unless you make it one, which you totally are, by the way. Shit happens, Cameron, and so does life. And if you are going to throw away your chance at being happy because of a twat of a guy who turned borderline stalker on your arse after you fucked him, then you deserve to stay in that pity pot you seem to be drowning in,” she finishes, leaving me open-mouthed.
“Jeez, don’t sugar-coat it or anything.” My reply is sarcastic.
“Look, you already know that Caleb can make you happy, and hell, you’ve been thinking about his dick since things ended with you both the first time, so just do yourself a favour and stop overthinking and go ride that hot older man D, because I can tell you, it’s not often you get a second chance at something.”
“Since when did you become so wise, whilst being crass at the same time?” I ask, feeling a smile tugging at my lips.
She grins at me. “Look, all I’m saying is, stop holding yourself back. So what if this all blows up in your face and you have to get another job? You’ll do it, and at least this way you’ll never be wondering ‘what if’… Live without regrets, Cameron. Tattoo it on your fucking forehead if you have to, but never forget it.”
I take in her words.
Live without regrets.
Maybe she’s right?
Maybe I am thinking about all of this far too much?
Maybe I should just follow my heart and tell my head to shut the hell up?
She’s given me something to think about, but for now, I need to just enjoy my new job. I need to stop stressing so much.
“You wanna go shopping this weekend for a new dress for the function next week?” I ask her, and she smiles at me.
“Hell yes. Now, are we done with the ted talk? I really need to actually learn how things work around here,” she says, and I laugh.
“Sure.” I get up and go to leave her office, but she calls my name when I reach the door.
“Cam… Just so you know, I’m here for you. Always.”
“I know,” I say with a smile before I leave her office and close the door, making my way back to my own. But when I reach the door, I pause and turn my head to look at Caleb’s office. And then, as if I’m not in control of my body, I make my way to his door, knocking once and waiting for him to call me in. He does a few seconds later, and when I walk in, his eyebrows shoot up a little.
“Can we talk for a sec?” I ask, and he leans back in his chair, gesturing for me to take a seat. I walk over on shaky legs, because I feel a bit stupid about how I went off at him earlier, and also because I never knew he wore glasses, and by God does it make him even hotter.
He takes the glasses off as I sit down and places them on the desk.