Looking up at the sky, I close my eyes. “I miss you, so, so much.”
This visit is not about regret, it’s about closure. Letting them rest in peace and moving forward with my life, with no regrets, and no holding back. There will always be questions, and I will never have the answers. Mom didn’t leave a suicide note. That wouldn’t be her style, anyway. She gave in to the darkness, and it consumed her.
“I forgive you. I love you both so much.”
A drop of rain falls on my face, and I smile. I am not one for signs, but I thank nature anyway.
* * *
“This is weird, isn’t it? Having dinner with Mrs. Rothwell, for Thanksgiving. Maybe I shouldn’t have forced us into this.” Marcella is a ball of nerves as we pull up outside the mansion.
“Calm down, Marcy. You’re not the one who has to dine with her ex and her baby daddy’s wife,” Aunt Felicity says.
“Mom!”
“Aunty City!”
Marcella and my protests ring out in the car. Then we all laugh at the absurdity.
“Who would have thought…” My words trail off when Ryder appears at my window. He looks sexier than ever in his dark suit. He smiles and reaches for my door, and fuck if I’m not in trouble at the mere sight of him.
“Ladies,” he greets, then offers me his hand, helping me out of the car. “You all look exquisite.” His eyes travel over my Grecian evening gown and heat creeps up my neck. I look at our clasped hands, electricity cracking in the space between our skin.
“Babe,” Marcy shrieks when she spots Dylan, and it wakes me up from my Ryder haze. She thought he wouldn’t make it since Thanksgiving is a huge affair for his family.
When Felicity approaches us, Ryder offers her his other arm and leads us into his house. The Rothwells have gone all out with decor, bold orange, gold, and green wreaths and tableware, elegant plate settings, and more food than this small army will probably be able to eat.
“Felicity,” Ruth greets. She’s a vision in a gold mermaid dress.
“Ruth. Thank you for having us,” my aunt says, taking Ruth’s hand. The two women smile at each other, and I look up at Ryder, whose eyes are on me.
“You aren’t gonna tear up, are you?”
I smack his chest. “Shut up!”
It is beautiful to see two strong women set aside their pasts and mistakes and join their families.
There is only warmth and laughter all evening and watching Marcella and Ryder joke around is surreal. Ryder nudges my shoulder with his. “You alright there?” We’re sitting at the fire pit, Marcella and Dylan opposite us, lost in conversation. My aunt and Ruth are watching a movie and this all seems so normal.
“It’s just not what I expected.” I pull my throw around me. “All this. It’s wonderful how you and Marcy found each other. Your mom is doing so much better. It’s like everything is as it should be.”
“There’s just one thing missing.”
He leans in, the shadow of the flames dancing on his face, and when he captures my lips, I feel myself floating. The kiss sears me from the inside out. My blood runs hot as his fingers grip my neck and jaw in that sexy neck-hold thing he does. Our kiss deepens and becomes urgent, teeth nipping, hands traveling, and our souls tethered to one another.
When we break apart, I groan at the loss of his lips. He’s still gripping my chin.
He leans in and whispers close to my ear, “I’m going to taste every inch of you really soon, Kitten.” Shivers run down my spine at his promise. A delicious promise I know I need him to keep.
Later that night, he asks me to stay and then leads me to the pool house where we can have some privacy. My heart pounds in my ears. It feels like it’s been years when, in fact, it has been a few months since we ended things. One thing that never ended was the love I feel for this man, broken as he is, his cracks mirror my own.
Moonlight bathes the pool house in an ethereal glow.
“I knew you’d be mine the moment you walked into this pool house with all that sass.”
“Is that so?” I practically moan when he pulls me against his erection.
“I thought of fucking you every night. The more you pushed me away, the more I wanted you.”